


A Little Bit of Something

by shiroi_usagi



Category: South Club (Band), Winner (Band)
Genre: Family Fluff, M/M, One True Pairing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-07-05 20:10:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 44,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15870879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiroi_usagi/pseuds/shiroi_usagi
Summary: A Little Bit of SomethingSome things happened for a reason.Even when he regretted it he can't change anything.All he could do is take one step at a time and make it right again.





	1. Something Unexpected

**MINO**

 

> _♪ And if we go someplace to dance, ♪_  
>  _♪ I know that ♪_  
>  _♪ There’s a chance you won’t be ♪_  
>  _♪ Leaving with me ♪_
> 
>  

The song played in the background slowly faded away as he came in. Like always, his presence took away everyone’s attention. All eyes went straight to him as he sashayed his way to me. All eye are following his delicate steps but his eyes, his eyes only sees me. I smiled at him as he did the same, holding my hand out for him to take.

“Hey… you made it.” I said, pulled him by his waist into my arms, leaning in for a taste of that cherry lips.

He rolled his eyes at me. “It’s a party in our dorm… Of course I’m here. Besides… it’s your graduation.” He wrapped his hands around my neck.

“Thank you baby.” I pressed my lips against his once again. We stared each other’s eyes leaving the world behind with just the two of us until some idiot accidentally stumbled against my back, waking us up from our trance. I glared at the drunk man who has both his hands up. I can feel my blood boiling. “Whe.”

I was about to launch myself when he suddenly cut my words off. “Hyung… Let’s dance.” He tugged on my hand, pulling my attention back to him.

Instantaneously my mood got better again. “Sure.” I flipped the bird at the guy as I let myself being pulled by him. He has this effect on my, always manage to soften my anger. He’s the only one who is capable to do so. If I am famous for my temper, he is famous to calm me down, each and every time.

“So… when are you heading back?” he asked. He had led us straight to the middle of the dance floor, though it was swarming with people, the cramped space between us is enough to make me forget about the crowd.

“The day after tomorrow.” I shrugged. “Let’s not talk about it.” I changed the topic as I can clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. I wish I could stay longer but my parents had given me enough freedom for the last six years. Ever since I enrolled myself in this boarding school, they never once forced me to do anything with the condition of me following what their path once I graduated. He is one year younger than me, so he has to stay one more year here to finish his studies. I caress his soft cheek, “Hey… I don’t want to leave you too. But I can’t escape my responsibilities towards my family anymore.”

“Promise me you’ll call me every day.” He pouted.

I chuckled, “Of course I will. Even if you forget about me, I won’t.” I kissed his cheek.

He smacked my chest, “How dare you say I’ll forget you.”

I laughed, “I was just joking. I know you won’t forget me. I won’t too. We’ll be together. Forever. Well… at least until you grow tired of me.”

“I won’t!” he stumped his feet.

“I promise we’ll be together.” I said, pulling him back into my arms.

He smiled in relief at me, snuggled comfortably in my arms. “I love you hyung…” he whispered softly.

I opened my mouth to say the same three words, but none of it comes out. “Me too Taehyun… Me too.” I smiled bitterly at myself.

 

 

* * *

 

 

** 15 years later **

 

> _♪ And then I go and spoil it all ♪_  
>  _♪ By saying something stupid ♪_  
>  _♪ Like I love you ♪_
> 
>  

“What kind of people put these old songs in a party… right oppa? It’s so lame.” A 20 year old woman whom my secretary set as my date complained about the song.

It snapped out of my trance, “It’s a great song. What do you low class people know about it? People who only had a pea brain wouldn’t able to adapt to these classics.”

That made my date blushed in embarrassment. She cleared her throat and excused herself to the restroom.

I reached for the scotch on the table and down it in one go. I’ve had enough of tonight. The annoying date, the pretentious people who called themselves as friends who are busier kissing up my ass rather than being friends. How long has it been since I had a real friend?

Slamming the glass on the table, I left the people in silence. Exiting this dimly lit hall, I walked to the balcony outside. “Has it been 15 years already?” that song… it was the last time I’ve seen him. I often wondered what happened to him but not once I’ve tried to look for him.

I light up my cigarette and took a long drag. “Something Stupid. Did you know that it the first version was sang by Frank Sinatra and his daughter? This is just the rendition. Really Taehyun? I never know that.” I chuckled at my own monologue.

“Smoky is bad” a small voice shouted from behind of me.

I turned around and saw a kid, complete in a navy blue suit and a red bow tie. I crushed the cigarette bud, “Not greeting your elder is bad.”

“Anonghaseyo.” The kid held his hand together at his stomach and did a knee bent bow.

I gargle with the scotch I brought out together with me. “Now… tell me your name.” I crouch down to meet the kid’s eyes.

“Nam Taewoo imnida.” The kid stared at me with his hopeful eyes blinking.

It took me by surprise. “N-Nam?” I shook my head, “So… why is smoky is bad?”

“Appa said bad het.” The kid kicked some imaginary pebbles on floor.

“Bad het?” I frowned. “Oh… you mean bad health? Really? Your father say so? How?”

“By mout.” The kid pouted and poke at his lips. He grinned silly flashing his bunny teeth and gummy smile.

“Mouth?” I was taken off of my words. “Smarty pants”

The kid giggled and ran back inside. Leaving me with my mouth hanging open, I chuckled. Somehow the little kid’s mischievous wit reminded of that someone.

I was a little worried seeing that small kid wandering around on his own, so I followed him. He took a peek inside the hall I was in but he shook his head. Then he totters his way to the stairs glancing right and left as if he is looking for something. Suddenly our eyes met when he turned around. He stomped his feet walking towards me.

“No polo Taewoo. I’m big.” He stopped in front of me with his arms on his waist.

He really is small, he’s barely my knee height. I crouch down in front of him. “What are you looking for? Your appa?”

Taewoo nodded. “Appa said he’s on two floor.” He put up the number two with his tiny fingers then ran to the stair. “One floor…two floor.” He pointed at the floor below and the floor we’re on.

This is kid is quite smart I say but what kind of a father would left this small toddler. I looked around seeing people eyeing us as if I was the one who left this small kid roam around. “Why don’t I help you find your appa?”

“Samchoon help Taewoo? No no no. Taewoo is big.” Protesting with all his might, the kid slowly backing off and turned around to run.

Instinctively, I chase him. I don’t usually care about kids wandering around but I just can’t leave this one alone. I followed him in his pace, meaning that I didn’t try to catch him just making sure he didn’t get hurt or something. I almost leap forward when Taewoo slam into a guy’s leg.

“Taew…” I shout his name but my voice is stuck in my throat when I saw who it was.

“Appa!” Taewoo called out.

“Appa?” I whispered under my heaving breath.

“Taewoo? What are you doing here? Where is your samchoon?” The man Taewoo called appa bent down and lift him up. “Didn’t I tell you to stay with your uncle? Never let his hand go.”

“Camchoon said Taewoo a baby. Taewoo can’t find appa.” The mischievous kid before now looked so vulnerable in his father’s arms. Taewoo laid down his head on his father’s shoulder and placed a hand on the man’s cheek.

“Taewoo is a smart boy. Taewoo found appa. But next time bring your samchoon along okay? Don’t go wandering alone like this.” The man softly rubs his child’s back.

“But Taewoo not alone. That camchoon help Taewoo.” Taewoo pointed my way.

My mind screamed for me to run and hide, unfortunately my body didn’t cooperate. Here I am stone stiffed, staring at those almond brown eyes hidden behind the clear glass. I gulped down all my nervousness and puffed out my chest. I can feel myself taking steps towards the father and son but my mind is as blank as the canvas buried in my garage. “Hi Taehyun… Long-time no see.” I put out my hand for a handshake, no one on earth right now can’t imagine how I long to hold those hands again.

Taehyun eyes filled with sadness and shock but nonetheless he remained calm and put out a fake smile. His hand remained firm on his son’s back. “My name is Taehyun but I don’t think I’ve ever met you before. Thanks for helping my son but please excuse us now.”

My hand was left hanging cold as he nodded his head towards the circle of men he was talking to and turned around and left. My eyes followed his back until he disappeared around the corner. I came here tonight for nothing but a night out and I got something unexpected.


	2. Something to Ignore

**TAEHYUN**

“Nam Donghyun! Where do you think you’re going?” I caught my brother walking towards the entrance.

 

“Taewoo! Where the hell did you go?” Donghyun came running when he saw us.

 

“Language!” I smacked the back of his head. “I specifically told you not to let him go!” another smack landed at the same spot.

 

“Eyy hyung! I left him with Jihoon hyung.” Donghyun said while rubbing the spot that got hit.

 

“I left him with you not with Jihoon hyung!” I rolled my eyes. My cousin, Jihoon asked me to come to this launching party since last month and I’ve already promised him that I’ll come since he has helped me a lot for the past few years. I owe him a lot but juggling as a single father and living alone with a three year old really made me hesitate to come especially when my mother isn’t here to babysit Taewoo and I can’t trust my brother alone with him.

 

“I went for to the restroom. I can’t bring him along. He always stares.” Our mothers went for a trip along with our grandparents leaving me no choice but to bring this idiot brother of mine along with Taewoo here tonight.

 

“What’s wrong with him staring? He has his own.  Why? You have something to hide in there?” I glared at him.

 

“Eyy hyung. Why are you angry at me? It’s Jihoon hyung who lost this brat.” Donghyun poked at Taewoo making the tired boy whined.

 

“Emm… Taewoo ah. Are you tired?” Taewoo nodded his head. “Go take him to the car and wait. I’ll let Jihoon hyung know we’re going home. Give him his milk too.” I passed Taewoo to Donghyun and looked for our cousin, the host of this party.

 

There isn’t a lot of people here but the crowd is all over the place. Here is the main hall where all the food and drinks are. There’s some private showing room for the simulations, upstairs is where all the alcohol is and there a dance party where all the youngsters gather around. If downstairs is hectic, upstairs is chaotic.

 

I looked around and spot Jihoon talking to him. I took a deep breath and toughen my heart. “Don’t get swayed Taehyun. He’s nothing but a stranger.” I chant to myself and bravely take the steps towards them. I tap on Jihoon’s shoulder. “Hyung. I really should go now. Thanks for having us.”

 

“What? Already? Thanks for coming and for all the help you’ve been for this… all of this to happen. If it weren’t for you, I won’t make the deadline.” Jihoon pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. He’s been working on this software for years but after one of his artist double cross him and claimed all the animations copyrights, Jihoon had a hard time to trust other people and failed to find a replacement. That is where I came in, I helped him with a few sketches and go through with some animations till we managed to complete it.

 

I awkwardly took his hug in hand but when my eyes locked with the man who was talking to Jihoon, I can see the green in it, why? I wondered. “This is nothing compared to what you have done for me.” I patted my dear cousin’s back. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be able to be living a luxurious life like this, I wouldn’t have gotten Taewoo. If he owed me his software, I owed him my entire world.

 

“Ah! Before you go, I would like you to meet my lawyer friend, Song Mino. He’s the one who’s been solving our issues. Do you know him?” Jihoon turned to him. “This is my cousin, Nam Taehyun. He went to the same high school as yours and he’s just one year younger than us.

 

I gritted my teeth and suck it up, flashing my fakest smile I offered him my hand to be polite. “Oh hyung, do you expect me to know everyone in my school? I’m not the registrar. Nice to meet you. Thanks for taking care of my cousin here.” I nodded at him, expecting him to play along but it all crumbled when I see his smirk.

 

“Yeah. I know him. He stayed in the same dorm as I did. Hydrangea’s right?” he squeezed my hand firm.

 

Taken aback, I almost choke on my own breath. “Ye-yeah. It was so long ago. The only senior I remembered was Seungyoon, Kang Seungyoon.” I snatched my hand away and tuck it in my pants’ pocket, secretly wiping the cold sweat from my palm.

 

He frowned, I doubt he would know who Seungyoon hyung is. Even when we were close, he never cared to ask about me. His smirk is now gone.

 

“My cousin here is a college professor. He’s also the one I told you before. The one that helped me with the animations? He’s teaches digital arts and design.” Jihoon continued his rambling while he stared at me.

 

My eyes never once left his until I break it off to escape. “Sorry hyung. Love to stay and chat but Donghyun is already at the car waiting with Taewoo. I really need to go now.” I glanced at him one last time before turning around and go.

 

Every steps I took away from them I could feel the hole he bore on my back. I don’t know how I got to the car but I managed to calmly drive us home. Donghyun helped carrying Taewoo’s bag while I carried the little man in my arms up to the room we share.

 

“Hyung. You okay? You looked like you’ve seen a ghost in that party.” Donghyun said while he hold the door for me.

 

“Nahhh… just a little tired.” I carefully placed Taewoo on my bed and caress his hair softly. “Don’t stay up too late playing games.” I warned Donghyun, it was a way for me to say good night to my brother.

 

“Fine…fine…” Donghyun smiled and dragged his feet away leaving me in the dark silent room. He is five years younger than I am and since I’ve been in the dorms my entire school days, we’re a little awkward with each other. Lucky for me he’s a great brother, he make efforts and meet the awkward me in the middle.

 

I turned my attention back to little Taewoo. Carefully, I changed him out of his uncomfortable suit and into his jammy. I lift him back and placed in the crib. “Goodnight Taewoo, appa loves you.” I whispered in his ear and peck his forehead softly.

 

I changed into my own pyjama and turned the water tap up to wash my face. Staring into the reflection in front on me, I let out a long deep sigh. I splash the cold water onto my face and rub it roughly to wake me up from the dream I had 15 years ago. I heave heavy breaths trying to wake up all those senses that I got when I can finally acknowledge that I was thrown away, that I was just nothing but a fling. I stared into my own eyes and say, “Taehyun...you won’t see him anymore after this. And if you did, he is something to ignore.”

 

 


	3. Something to Fix

**MINO**

I stepped inside the classroom. I came early in order for me not to be too conspicuous. Despite for a few girls giggling and eyeing me like I’m some sculpture in an art gallery, I took a seat all the way back and in the corner. I laid my head down and wait for the class to slowly fill. I wait and wait until finally the one person I’ve been waiting for came in.

 

He carried his messenger bag, wearing a wine red shirt and a stripped blue tie, hair slicked back with a black rimmed glasses. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbow and then he turned around with a mesmerizing smile. “Sorry I’m a little late. You know how it is right?”

 

The whole class brightens up with laughter. One male student shouted. “Why didn’t you bring him again today, sir?”

 

“Okay… who said that? Do you want more autograph from him or something?” the whole class laughed again. He then put on his study face, “Enough said. We’re going to continue where we left off last week.”

 

Some of the girls who sat near me suddenly said, “I heard his wife is a total beauty. Long legs big eyes and everything.” The girl with the pink rimmed spectacles said.

 

“Really? No wonder his son is so cute.” The girl with the yellow pen said.

 

“Yah! Taewoo looks totally from Sir Nam’s genes.” The girl who sat right next to them spoke.

 

“Yeah… you’re right. Look at him, he’s so cute.” The first girl said and the three of them sighed with dreamy eyes looking at my Taehyun.

 

I kept my eyes on him, following his footsteps, drowning in his voice. For the whole two hours lecture on art history had made me more and more envious to his students who got to watch him, hear his voice every day. Every time he looked on my way, I’ll try my best to keep my head down so that he wouldn’t see me sitting here, attending a freshman class complete with my full suits and tie.

 

Two hours fly out of the window with a blink, next thing I know he is giving out some assignments and the students swarmed around him. Handing him some papers for which he took with his smile never faded until our eye met. His smile faded for just a split second but it is enough to show that he definitely knows me and more importantly he didn’t forget.

 

When the students cleared out, I descend the stairs one step at a time while boring a hole at him. He acted like it was nothing and continued packing his stuff. I stopped just a few steps away from him, “Taehyun ah.”

 

He looked up but his eyes were blank. “I didn’t expect to see you here Song… What was your name again? Sorry, I was too busy thinking about my son that I didn’t quite catch your name back then.”

 

I frowned at the charade he’s playing. “It’s Mino… Song Mino. You used to call me Mino hyung. Remember?”

 

He smiled a fake smile. “My apology, I really can’t recall knowing you. If you could excuse me, I have an appointment waiting for me at my office.” He lifted his bag and walked away.

 

“Hey… slow down.” I chased his fast steps. “I’m really glad I found you, I really misses you and never once have I stopped thinking about you.” I tried to explain as I followed him but he treated as if I’m air.

 

“Hyung!” he suddenly called out.

 

I was happy for a moment but turns out he was calling someone else. A guy with a neck tattoo, lip piercing wearing a smudged work coverall dirtied by grey things approach us. He suddenly smiled like he used to smile to me. “Taehyunie. Sorry, I left my phone today, I’ve sent my student to your office.”

 

“You left that ancient thing again? Just get a new phone already hyung. I’m on my way there now. Lunch?” I stared at them back and forth.

 

“My office?” the guy finally notice me standing there, frowning at me.

 

“That rat’s nest? No thanks, I’ll wait in mine.” He clicked his tongue and scrunched up his nose. The guy’s office must’ve been super messy until he gave that type of reaction.

 

“Samuel Seo.” The guy offered his hand to me. “Who’s this?”

 

“My cousin’s friend slash lawyer.” His introduction disappoints me.

 

“Mino, Song Mino.” I took the guy’s rough hand and shook it like a civilized man.

 

“What brings you to this art college?” the guy had the nerve to query my intention of coming.

 

Before I could even say something he cut me off, “That’s what I’m trying to find out. I’m taking him to my office now. I’ll fill you up later.” He smiled a bitter smile.

 

“See you at lunch.” The Samuel guy nodded and left.

 

The silence came creeping back. He used to be so cheerful around me, nonstop chattering, nonstop smiling, and nonstop laughter, “What happened to you? You used to talk a lot back then.”

 

His steps suddenly stop. “My office.” He led me in, “Make yourself comfortable.” He placed all the things he carried and walked straight to the coffee maker. His hand reached for the pot but stopped before he poured the coffee into a cup. “Coffee or tea?’ he asked.

 

“Coffee… always coffee.”  I said, my eyes followed his hand movement. He poured the coffee and placed two cubes of sugar. Just like how I used to take back in the days. I smiled to myself.

 

“So… what can I help you today Song Mino ssi. I don’t understand to you showing up at my workplace unannounced like this.” He took a seat opposite me.

 

“What I can’t understand is why you pretend as if we met for the first time the other day.” I said straight forwardly in order to threw him off guard, but surely it was futile.

 

He calmly answered. “Because it is. Song Mino ssi… I’m not sure to who you thought I am but you really did caught a wrong guy.  I don’t know you. Not in the past nor now.” I opened my mouth to reply but we were disturbed by a knock on the door. “Excuse me, that’s a student I promised to see. Is there anything else I could be of a help?” he stood.

 

Being robbed of my words, I shook my head weakly and left the room. I went to where my feet takes me. I took a seat by the park right next to his office and began contemplating. I messed up, from something beautiful, I smashed it into pieces until it became something to fix.

 

 

 


	4. Something Obvious

**TAEHYUN**

“Appa! Cham myeong!” Taewoo waved at us and happily giggling his way playing with other kids.

 

“Really hyung? You made a three year old call you hyung?” I turned at Samuel hyung.

 

“Unless you agree to marry me, he’s never calling me samchoon.” Samuel hyung whined.

 

I laughed, “If I agree to marry you, isn’t he supposed to call you father or something?”

 

“Daddy, he’s totally calling me daddy.” Samuel hyung said firmly making me laughed twice as hard from before.

 

I’ve known Samuel hyung from since my freshmen year in college. He was dead drunk at the MT and propose me to marry him in front of the whole club. Back then no one knew about I used to date another guy or that he was serious making him the laughing stock of the whole college until we graduated. We just treat it like it was just a joke it was until he propose again few years later. I came upfront to him about it and we became close friends after that. Of course he hasn’t given up on asking me to marry him even when I decided to marry Eunji.

 

“So was it him?” Samuel hyung suddenly asked.

 

“Wh-what?” my heart starts beating fast.

 

“The lawyer. Was it him? The one you’ve been hiding from all these time?” Samuel hyung pried.

 

“What are you talking about hyung?” I snort, trying to cover up my nervousness.

 

“I can see how you look at him you know.” Samuel hyung said while staring at me with his eyes asking for the truth.

 

Ever since that day, Mino hyung came by almost every day looking for me, trying to have a conversation with me, asking me out; for lunch, for coffee, for dinner. He even brought gifts each and every time. Flowers, books, vinyl records, CDs and everything. And each and every of those time I turned him down without a second thoughts to spare. Samuel hyung was there at most of that time when he came by. “You must have seen it wrong then.”

 

“How long have we known Taehyunie? You don’t even look at Eunji like that. You look at him as if he had destroyed your and at the same time you wanted to give him every piece of you.” Samuel hyung sighed.

 

“What nonsense are you talking about hyung? Don’t try to make belief of something that wasn’t there.” Unable to control my rage and embarrassment, I stood I called out for Taewoo. “See you at work hyung.”

 

“Appa?” Taewoo cupped my face as I carried him back to the house.

 

I ran away again. Eunji said it back then and now Samuel hyung is saying the same thing. 15 years had passed but I can’t escape to how I felt about him. He promised me a forever but then he left, living his life to the fullest. I’ve waited for his calls day after day for a whole year I had to face our friends came up asking me how he was, when he’s coming to visit. I stood by his empty promises, I held on the meaningless words he had given me, I chased him to where he went only to see how he was living his life. Fulfilling his family’s dream on a beach with a woman in his arms. Then ten years later, I was trying my hardest to make do with what I have while he’s back with his name on the wall for some firm, fame and fortune surrounded him. I don’t trust him, I don’t want to trust him.

 

“Hyung?” I woke up from my trance when I heard some knocking on the window. I looked up and saw Donghyun standing outside the car. “What are you doing in there? I saw your car for like 15 minutes ago from the convenient store downhill.”

 

“Nothing… just thinking of something.” I turned my attention to Taewoo is already curled up on my lap, sucking his thumb and fast asleep.  

 

“Someone’s here looking for you.” Donghyun opened the car door and pointed at a figure leaning on red sport car parked in front of our house.

 

I sighed, “Can you take him in?” I handed my son to Donghyun.

 

“Just so you know, he came by a few times already, but I kicked him out. “ Donghyun said as he take Taewoo and headed straight into the house.

 

I was shocked but at the same time grateful for a Donghyun’s action. “I never recall giving you my home address.” I said, folding my arms to my chest.

 

“I have my ways. Here.” He held out a small paper bag. “It’s for Taewoo.”

 

“Stop giving me gifts, I have enough on my own. I can buy them myself. Stop coming to see me. It’s a nuisance. Go home, stay away. The next time I see you around here or anywhere near me, I’m calling the police.” I warned him.

 

“Come with me, just once. Come with me, sit down and talk to me properly, spend some time with me. I promise you, if you come with me just this once, I won’t ever disturb you after this. Please?” he begged, his eyes begging even his broad shoulder slumped, waiting for me to agree.

 

“Just once.” I sighed. “Let me take care of something first.” I walked inside to look for Donghyun.

 

“Is he gone?” Donghyun sits on the couch scrolling through his SNS on his ipad.

 

“Not yet, I’m heading out with him. I’ll be quick but… Can you take Taewoo to mom’s?” I reached out for Taewoo’s bag. I emptied the milk I made for him before we went out. “I’ll be out just a few minutes but I think I want to be alone tonight.”

 

“You sure you’re okay? I can stay here and wait for you with Taewoo.” Donghyun offered.

 

I stuffed Taewoo’s bag with the milk container enough for the whole night and some of his favourite snacks. “Nahh… I have some work to do tonight anyways. Just tell mom I’ll pick him first thing tomorrow.”

 

“Whatever you say then. Call if there’s anything wrong.” Donghyun took the bag from my hand and goes upstairs to pick Taewoo up. Seconds later he came back down with Taewoo in his arms, still sleeping. I followed them to my car and kissed Taewoo’s head before watching Donghyun reverse the car and gone.

 

Usually I would drop Taewoo off myself since I didn’t want to use Donghyun’s car but right now I just don’t think I could.  I unlocked Donghyun’s two seater car but he stopped me before I could get inside. “I’ll drive.” He said leading me to his car without touching me.

 

I hesitated for a second but I just sighed in agreement.

 

“Can you hand me your phone?” he said once we’re both inside the car. “I don’t want you to call your friend to come and pick you up of something.” He held out his hand and waited for me to comply his wish.

 

For some stupid reason, I foolishly did as he asked. I took out my phone and hand it to him. My lock-screen lights up allowing him to see the family photo I took with Eunji, Taewoo’s mom. His face turned sour but he didn’t say anything.

 

We drove for almost an hour till we stopped by an isolated cabin far in. I still hasn’t said a word to him nor does he to me. My stomach churned, scared of thinking that I would back down and just take in back, scared that I would melt down with his words.

 

“You don’t have to be scared, I won’t do anything to you. I just wanna talk to you without anyone disturbing us.” He finally opened his mouth when he stopped the car. “I’ve lived here for the past couple of years. It’s totally safe.” He explained.

 

I kept my silence and followed him once he opened the car door for me. The house is bare. No flowers, no paintings, no vase, no decorations. There’s only a couch, a TV, a coffee table with a laptop on top of it. There’s a fireplace on the right side of the common room and few shelves of books and vinyl records.

 

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get some drinks for us.” He disappeared into what I assumed as his kitchen.

 

I sat on the far right of the couch and he handed me a bottled water.

 

He sat on the coffee table opposite me and stared.

 

“What do you want to talk about?” I pulled all the courage I have left and spoke eye to eye with him.

 

His face softens. “I want to talk about us. About what we were and what we can be.” He dropped his head down.

 

“What we were? What we can be? Why do you want to talk about something obvious? We don’t know each other before this and you’re always going to be my cousin’s lawyer. There’s nothing we can be.” He shot his head back up and met my eyes, but I looked away.

 

 


	5. Something to Hope for

**MINO**

“What we were? What we can be? Why do you want to talk about something obvious? We don’t know each other before this and you’re always going to be my cousin’s lawyer. There’s nothing we can be.” Those were the words he said.

 

I looked into his eyes but he looked away. “W-why? We can be… friends.”

 

“I have enough friends now. Even if I need new ones, I wouldn’t be friend with the likes of you.” He changed his seat to somewhere a bit father than where I’m sitting.

 

I sighed. “I thought we don’t know each other before this. So why being prejudice towards me? Have I done something to make you feel that way?”

 

He smiled. “Because I may not have known you but I know first-hand to what you did.”

 

“I haven’t done anything to hurt you.” I said, defending myself.

 

“You didn’t? Then god bless you. Can I go home now?” he stood and folded his arms to his chest as if trying to shield himself.

 

“We haven’t resolve anything.” I can’t help but to glare. I don’t understand what I have done to the point that he has to pretend as if he didn’t know me.

 

“If you haven’t done anything to hurt me, why are you running around as if you did? What are you trying to achieve giving me gifts, barging into my workplace every day, harassing my friends, turning up at my home when I clearly didn’t give out my personal address freely?” he stared at me as he said it.

 

I stopped and ponder. I know I did him wrong in the past. I was caught up with the idealism my family has embed in my mind, thinking that I shouldn’t fight back and just live my life the way they wanted me until I’m off their clutches. I knew at one point he would move on his life, in which I can clearly see he did but I can’t understand why holding a grudge against me. I sighed heavily. “I just want to be close to you again like I was in the past.”

 

“Close? Why? There’s no reason for you wanting to be close to me.” He said, rubbing his fingers on his head.

My eyes went wild, I can’t think of anything else to persuade him. I just want to reconnect with him. “I just want to get to know you.” I finally said.

 

“Get to know me? Why? You want to know how I lived for the past 15 years. Let me tell you then. After you left the school each and every passing days I had to live wondering if you ever coming to visit, I waited for your call every single time I get my hand on my phone, everyone who knows about us kept asking how you have been, every night I would sleep worried, thinking that something might have happen. I barely passed my exams because all my thoughts went to you. When I finally finished school my friend looked up about you and found out you were sent to college in the States, I spent my whole savings for me to find you only to see that I have never knew that I didn’t know who you are. My friends put their money together and lend it to me so that I can come back home because I spent every last penny I have to go there. Fast forward 10 years later I saw you again, being successful as you could with women in both of your arms while I had to struggle financially because your family decided that my little art studio was a nuisance to their big corporation and you the man himself filed the suit causing my hard work went down the drain in a snap. Luckily Eunji who is my wife now, helped me survive that shit storm you brought. I was barely living when she took my hand and when Jihoon, my cousin came back from abroad, he used all of his connections to score me my current work. That is why I said, I don’t know who you were back then as much as you don’t know who I am right now. Song Mino ssi… we definitely don’t know each other. Now that you know all there is to know about me, stay away from me, my family, my work and my house. I don’t wish to associate with the likes of you.” He walked back and forth biting his nail.

 

“I-I never knew.” I said under my breath, I was totally in shock to the pain I brought onto him. I remember perfectly that law suit. It was the biggest case I scored, it was my family’s company against a bunch of small shops. I was too busy chasing the win in order for me to secure my name on the wall that I didn’t even take a peek at the name list of the people I sued.

 

He stopped and stared at me with his eyes trembling. “Of course you never knew, you never cared about what happen to me. All there is to you is I was just your high school fling. The toy you had when you were away from home that you just threw to side despite pouring all those sweet word of forever to. I get that… what I don’t get is why are you doing this? Are you trying to destroy my whole life before you can finally be satisfied?”

 

“Taehyun… I never meant any of it to happen. I… my family…” I stutters as the words fade in my throat.

 

“If you have just a slight mercy in your heart, just stop looking for me. Stay away from my family. What happened in the past is in the past. Even if it was beautiful at some point, it was hell for me at one.” He brought his hands together and begged. “Just let me live my life peacefully.”

 

I was lost with words. There were so many things I had planned to say to him, to convince him, to get him back. I am selfish, I was one back then though over a decade had passed, and I still am. My knees buckled and I slumped on the couch. A bright light suddenly came through the window. Seconds later, the door clatters open. The guy with the neck tattoo who always with him came barging in.

 

“Hyung.” His voice echoed through the empty house calling the man who had arrive instead of me.

 

“Taehyunie… are you okay? Donghyun asked me to come, he turned.” The slender man with the deep voice wave a phone.

 

“He tracked me using GPS again? That kid.” His face soften unlike minutes ago where it was tensed and strained. And then he smiled. “I’m fine, let’s go now.” Ignoring me, who is sitting frozen on the couch he walked pass by and headed towards the door.

 

“Is everything alright?” my heart clenched as the man placed a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Everything will be from now on.” He said with a bitter smile. “Nice talking with you Song Mino ssi.” He bowed and left.

 

All I could do was watch him leave. There’s nothing else I could do. I sat there alone in the room where the sun slowly sets until darkness looms over me. If only I wasn’t scared of the promises I made to him, if only I kept by my words and stay loyal to him, I wouldn’t have lost him. No… I drove him away. I was the reason why I couldn’t reach out for him now. I spent 15 years trying to prove myself to my family but all I did was turning into the money slave I accused my family.

 

I stared at a box I put on the record shelf. A silver shining box, a box where I had filled my memories. A box where I often open to remind myself of the time where I felt like I was living. It was filled with his smile. A smile that I had robbed.

 

> _♪_ _I know I stand in line_ _♪_
> 
> _♪_ _until you think_ _♪_
> 
> _♪_ _You have the time_ _♪_
> 
> _♪_ _To spend an evening with me_ _♪_

Something light up on the table along with that song, that one song he always made me listen. It’s his phone, I took it so we wouldn’t be disturbed and he forgot to take it back because he was in a hurry to get away from me. I dragged my feet to the phone. Whoever was calling stopped after a couple of time. I pressed the home button, the lock screen lights up. As it was earlier and it is now, my heart felt like it was pricked by a spear. His face with a broad smile with little Taewoo wrapped in the arms of his and the woman he called his wife. I swiped the screen to the left and the phone demand the lock code. I daringly punch in the numbers I bet and the phone unlocked. I just found a little something to hope for.


	6. Something Unavoidable

**TAEHYUN**

“Taehyunie. You sure this is okay?” Eunji squeezed my hand.

 

I nodded at her. “Its fine noona, the college is on a spring break for two weeks. Taking a week off work is okay.” I turned my attention back to the road.

 

It has been a week since I last saw him. He hasn’t appear to my workplace anymore and not even a sight of him near my house too. Donghyun said the same. Though I’m grateful he listened to my request but deep down I felt a little disappointment on how easy it is for him to let go. On that day, Eunji called and told that she’ll be coming home for her brother’s wedding. Since her brother is marrying into a big shot family, the wedding will be held on a cruise it seems. Of course, in order to not raise any doubts about our relationship, she asked me to come along with her and Taewoo.

 

Eunji and I have a complicated status quo. We met in college where she modelled for my class a couple of time. We hit it off when our friends arranged a blind date between us however none of us wanted the relationship to be more than friends. She has her own ideals while I wasn’t looking for anything at all. What made she owes me was when I saved her from the kidnapping attempt back when we were students. That was the reason why she offered her help during my downfall. Unfortunately her family was against her helping some stranger. The riffs causes her to make a decision to marry me. I refused but she insisted.

 

“Taehyunie, you looked a little down from the last time we met.” I can feel Eunji’s concerned eyes on me.

 

“Too many work…which is why this will be a perfect vacation for me. What princess did Jinwoo hyung get his hands on?” I changed the topic as quickly as I could.

 

“I don’t know. I only found out about them last month. I haven’t met her yet but mom and dad likes her already.” Eunji shook her head and sigh. “I think mostly because of her family. She’s an heiress”

 

“That explains the fancy 4 days 3 nights cruise dedicated solely for their wedding.” I chuckled. Being a rag amongst the riches surely gave him a lot of perspectives. “Sorry I couldn’t give you a fairy tale wedding, noona.”

 

“I don’t even dream of a marriage but you gave me one. It is more than enough you know. Besides, thanks to you I can finally achieve my life long dreams to be a model based in Tokyo. My family wouldn’t even listen to me.” Eunji patted my head, I smiled softly.

 

The rest of the journey went by in a blur. Both Taewoo and Eunji are fast asleep as I turn to the dock where my in laws already waiting for us. I woke Eunji up and let the helper carried our bags as I carried Taewoo to our cabin room led by none other than the soon to be groom. “Congratulations hyung. For your wedding.”

 

Jinwoo smiled, “Thanks Taehyunie, it’s been five years but it still felt weird hearing the husband of my older sister calling me hyung.” Jinwoo joked.

 

“I can’t simply dismiss your age can I?” we both laughed. We were walking pass the swimming pool when a woman came and wrapped her hands around Jinwoo’s.

 

“Who is this oppa?” the woman asked measuring me up and down.

 

“This is Taehyun, Eunji noona’s husband and that is Taewoo, their three year old. Taehyun, this is my fiancé Danah.” Jinwoo introduced us briefly.

 

I didn’t even bother sticking out my hand to shake the obviously spoiled woman’s hand but just bow a little.

 

“Why do you look so familiar?” the woman frowned.

 

“I never forget a face and surely I would’ve recognize a woman as beautiful as you if we’ve ever met before.” I flashed my charming smile to avoid any unnecessary attention.

 

“Oppa! I like him already.” Danah fair skin flushed at my praise.

 

Joining Jinwoo, Danah tagged along to show me our room. Eunji is too busy entertaining her parents that she’ll join us later.

 

“Which one is their room?” I heard Danah asking Jinwoo.

 

“The S8… right next to your brother. Ah… there he is.” Jinwoo waved at someone who just stepping out from one of the door.

 

My breath hitched. He approached us with his white cargo shorts and half buttoned light blue linen shirt giving us a peek to his tan sculpted body. Though his body seems healthy, his face says otherwise. Once he took off his sunglasses, his tired eyes were on full displayed, paired up with the rough scruff, he looked a mess. His eyes nailed on mine as his steps nearing us.

 

“Taehyunie, meet Danah’s older brother, Mino. Mino, meet my older sister’s husband and son, Taehyun and Taewoo.” Jinwoo nodded towards the both of us but none of us are reacting.

 

“What kind of ill fate is this?” I said under my breath, looking anywhere but him.

 

I must have held Taewoo too tight unconsciously, since the boy slowly waking up from his slumber. “Appa.” Taewoo called me out with his whiny voice. I tried to stop Taewoo from turning around but I was too late. Taewoo looked at the faces around him one by one until he is spotted. Taewoo squealed, “Chamchoon!” demanding that he picked him up, Taewoo stretch out his hand to him.

 

“Taewoo ah.” His rough voice echoed in my ears.

 

“Oh… what’s this? You guys knew each other?” Jinwoo said while Danah frowned.

 

“Ye-yeah. He’s my cousin’s lawyer. Song Mino ssi here helped accompanying Taewoo when he got lost. Isn’t it Taewoo? Did you properly thank this samchoon?” I cast aside the heavy feeling in my heart and tried my hardest to smile.

 

“Sankyu chamchoon.” Being the polite kid we taught him, Taewoo brought both of his hands to his tummy and bowed his head down. Despite being held in his arms.

 

“What are you guys doing in the middle of the hall here?” Eunji’s voice came from our back. “Ommo… is this the bride to be? Hello there, I’m this pabo’s eldest sister Eunji.” Eunji offered her hand for which Danah took it with a polite bow. “And this is? Taewoo ah… come to omma. Yeobo, did they bring all our luggage in?” Eunji tapped my shoulder.

 

“Yeah… We should get to our room now.” I wrapped my arms over her shoulder.

 

Without sparing a glance to the party outside, we both walked straight to our room. Just as I was about to close the door, I caught his longing eyes staring at me.

 

“It’s him isn’t it?” my head snapped and locked eyes with Eunji who is sitting on the bed with Taewoo rolling around beside her. “Taehyunie, for years I’ve known you this is the first time I saw you looking defeated. Not even when you lost you studio you have looked in a turmoil like that. I never would’ve guested that the one person who messed your life up would be a man.” Eunji sighed in defeat. “Are you sure you’re okay being trapped in this ship for the next four days with him just a few feet away?”

 

I paused, “I… it’s… it’s something unavoidable. I- I can.” I said to Eunji, not that I was trying to sound convincing because I myself knew it isn’t but I was trying to convince myself to do so.

 

“You don’t sound like you can.”   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Something Challenging

**MINO**

I stared at the closed door a little too long. “I’m gonna hit the bar now.” I said to my little sister and her soon to be husband. The ship shook a little as it began to move out from the dock. I wasn’t shock to him here. In fact he is the only reason I agreed to come along this ridiculous trip.

 

Taking a seat at the farthest side of the empty bar, I called up the bartender asking for scotch… neat I told him. The woman in the white shirt and a black bow tie gave me a curt nod fetching me the glass and poured the drink in it. I shook the glass and watch the scotch swirl beautifully as I replayed the scene earlier. His hand grabbing her shoulder, walking alongside her with their son in her arms. They looked like a complete family, a happy family.

 

I downed the shot in one go, asking the bartender to refill my glass.  I was convinced he is a single dad with an estranged wife. Even when I sent out a private investigator to search him, no information on the wife. My thoughts flew back to that night, I thought I have a shot at him, seeing how he used the date of our first meeting which is my birthday. I kept my distance from him and watched from afar, his routine, his life but I didn’t expect to see him here along with his little family. A family that could’ve been mine but I threw it away.

 

From the corner of my eyes I saw my little sister walking hand in hand with her soon to be husband. I envied her, she found love within our kind. When my parents found out about a guy who isn’t of any status had come to my liking, they pushed me out and shipped me to the states. The wrong move I did was comply with their wishes and eventually put him behind. I never realized how much I want him until it is way too late. I sighed deeply.

 

“That’s a long sigh.” I turned to my side and see my cousin standing.

 

I huffed. I shook my head and clear out my glass again. The bartender seemed to understand since she came and pour me another glass.

 

“Jack and Coke please.” Kunku called out and took a seat beside me. “So what’s your trouble? It’s not even lunch.”

 

“Just some things I regret came slapping on my face.” I said while staring at the swirling golden liquid in my glass.

 

“That’s deep. What’s this about?” Kunku stared at me intently.

 

“Remember when I came to your place after I finished school?” My cousin who is a year older than me nodded. “My parents did not approve the person I was seeing. So I was shipped out. Now… that person is here with a happy family stamped on their forehead.”

 

“Woah…your ex is here? Wait… uncle and aunty sent you out. Did you broke up because of distance or because they don’t like your ex?” Ku hyung waited for my answer.

 

My parents did sent me out because they don’t like the status of him. He was nobody, he fully relied on his mother, he doesn’t have a father and how he won’t be of any help to our company if I stayed with him. My parents gave a choice back then and I made a wrong one. “I never broke up.” I said with a tremble in my voice, I cleared my throat.

 

“What?” Ku hyung frowned.

 

“I just took off. My parents asked me to choose, their money or…” I trailed off. “I was too stupid back then.” My shoulders slumped, my head dropped.

 

“You were 18 back then. If I was in your shoes I would’ve choose money too. We are kids who never faced difficulties in terms of money. Do you think if you stayed by your ex’s side and live through a hardship you would stayed together?” Ku hyung shook his head. “The poverty would destroyed your relationship. It’s one way or another.”

 

“We don’t know that.” I said.

 

“Yeah…we don’t know that because it didn’t happen. You made your choice back then and it hurt both of you. Ask for their understanding and apologize. Dude… it’s never too late to apologize.” My cousin patted my back before leaving me alone to my thoughts.

 

I remained silence. I drag myself back to my room, tipsy. As I passed the room I heard squealing and screaming, laughter echoing from his door. Resting my forehead on it, I closed my eyes and tried to let it go, let him go but I know I can’t.

 

The rest of the day went by with a blur. I spent my whole time locking myself in my room, buried with work. I read every single thing my secretary sent out to me, every single contract I brought together with me while drowning my ears with the sounds from my new neighbour. Until I hear my sister making an announcement from the speaker, reminding all the guest about the dinner. Not wanting to disappoint the queen of this whole trip, I took a shower and put on a nice shirt with a dark blue slack. I ignored the couple who were stumbling out of their room next to mine and walked ahead, pretending not to care about him.

 

I was placed at the same table as him and his wife. I overhear them talking saying little Taewoo along with the rest of the kids age under 12 were placed in one room with a few crews babysits them. For some reason, his wife is glaring at me and he hasn’t laid his eyes on me since. I dismiss every single conversation at the table and just focus my mind at his voice. His awkward smile is painted on his face. The rest of the dinner is going on well until I see his face is turning sour, he chewed on his food extremely slow and look disgusted.

 

Suddenly he stood, I snapped out of my daze and finally gave my attention to the meal he’s having. I scoop a spoonful of the soup and tasted lobster. I looked over to his wife but she just didn’t realize it. I frowned. He can’t eat crustaceans. I rushed to the washroom and found him throwing up in one of the stall. I head back out and grab one of the wait. “Get me allergies meds, the strong one and hurry.” I rushed the girl.  A few seconds later the wait came back with the pill and a bottle of plain water. I rushed back to his side seeing how red spots beginning to appear. “Taehyun ah. Take this.” I hand out the pills and he obediently took it.

 

“Room.” He said between his heaving breaths.

 

I hooked his hand over my shoulder and helped him walk towards our room.

 

“Can’t.” he said while wobbling. He pushed me away but almost stumbled.

 

I caught him just as he was about to hit the floor. Without wasting any time, I scooped him up in my arms and rushed to my room carrying the unconscious him. I laid him down on my bed and loosen the top buttons of his shirt. I sat on the edge of the bed staring at him sleeping face. “Is this fate’s way of saying I have a shot with you?” I chuckled at my own joke. “Or is this its way of saying even if you’re this close to me I can’t do anything but just stare. This is something challenging isn’t it?” I said to him. I caress his snowy white cheek and lean down and placed a lingering kiss. “I miss you.”

 


	8. Something to Face

**TAEHYUN**

The sound of Taewoo’s laughter woke me up. Feeling drowsy, I squint my eyes to the bright light. “Taewoo?” I called out with my rough voice.

 

“Appa!” Taewoo squealed loudly and climbed up to the bed, jumping up and down trying to show me a piece of paper with crayon.

 

“Emm Taewoo ya… what is this?” I sat up and lean on the headboard. I felt strange, in the back of my mind I tried to recall about last night. I remember trying my hardest to not look at him. I remember how Eunji kept elbowing me every time he looked my way. I remember how my in laws were being sarcastic towards us when they kept talking how rich their new family member is. I remember eating nervously because I can feel his stare. I remember getting up and ran to the restroom because suddenly my stomach got grumpy. I remember his voice calling me out. I remember his gentle hand rubbing my back. And the last thing I remembered was his voice asking me to eat the meds.

 

“Look! Look!” Taewoo took all the scattered papers on the bed and hand it out to me.

 

I took a deep breath, a whiff of a familiar scent filling my nostrils. I really can’t escape him, I thought to myself. I shook my head to chase away the memories that slowly recalls. “Ooh… what is this?”

 

“This is… appa and me and omma.” Taewoo poked on the paper.

 

“Really?” I took him by the waist and sit him on my lap. “Omma is there too? Who is this? Donghyun samchoon?”

 

“No!!! It’s Minyo chamchoon.” Taewoo shouted and I felt my breath stopped. I darted my eyes around and finally realize it wasn’t our room.

 

White shirt slung on the backrest of the chair. Stacks of papers filled the work desk surrounding a white Mac. Spectacles obviously carelessly thrown on its keyboard. Wardrobe filled with suits and lined up dress shoes on its floor. My line of sight goes to the couch, pillows are piled up with a blanket folded nicely at one end. Crayons and papers spread on the coffee table. The door suddenly opened up revealing him, carrying a tray of food, looking all glorious with his unshaven scruff and unbuttoned pastel green summer shirt with khakis shorts.

 

“Minyo chamchoon.” Taewoo climbed down bed and ran towards him.

 

“I figured you need to refill your stomach.” He came in with a smile. “Taewoo ah… go tidy up your drawings. Appa will eat on the bed.” He gave orders to my son as if he is familiar with him.

 

Surprisingly Taewoo obediently climbs back on the bed, collecting every single paper and threw them on the floor.

 

His deep chuckle made me more nervous than I already is. “You threw up everything last night, so eat the soup first to sooth your stomach. Sorry I had to change you last night since your shirt is a little dirty.”

 

I still kept my silence, my hands grips on the sheets till my fist turned blue. My eyes never stop following him.

 

He gently place the tray over my lap, picked Taewoo to sit on his lap had he took a seat on the bed beside me. “I asked the cook to make your favourite salmon and cream cheese croissant… that is… if…it still is.” He rubs the back of his neck, a habit he does every time he is nervous. I stayed unmoved, biting the inside of my cheek. “You were knocked up to the bone last night. I just took you here and change you out.” I still keep my words to myself. He took a piece of apple and gave it to Taewoo. “Tae-Taewoo was crying last night, he-he was looking for you.” When I still didn’t say anything, he sigh. “Please eat something. Don’t just stay silent.”

 

I refused to even look at him. My eyes went to the door, calculating my way to get up and leave the room. Slowly my anger builds up. I felt ashamed, I felt betrayed. All kinds of negative feels are eating me up from insides.

 

“I know you don’t want to stay here with me but please just eat something first before you go.” He waited patiently for me to response.

 

I took a peek from the corner of my eyes at my son who is comfortably playing on his lap. My heart jumped when someone knocks on the door.

 

He settles Taewoo on the bed before answering the door. He took something from the person behind it and turned to close the door. “It’s your shirt from last night. I sent it out for laundry this morning. You can…”

 

I moved the tray of food to the side and snatch the paper bag from his hand, took off his shirt, threw it on the floor and put back on my shirt. “Thanks.” I said to him. “Let’s go Taewoo.”

 

“Appa~~” Taewoo whines as I took him roughly from the bed and flea to our own room.

 

“Stay here with omma okay Taewoo? I need to have a word with that samchoon.” I placed Taewoo on the bed beside the sleeping Eunji and stomp my feet back to his room. I saw he was collecting the shirt I just threw. “I really appreciated what you did last night but don’t come near Taewoo again. You should just leave me for someone else to deal with. Don’t you touch me ever again.” I slammed the door on my way out.

 

The loud sound might’ve surprised Taewoo to the point that the boy was crying at full volume as I step in. Eunji woke up and was cradling Taewoo in her arms, trying to calm him down.

 

“What was that?” Eunji asked, frowning at me.

 

“Why did you let Taewoo into that creep’s room? I know that you don’t have an ounce of love to him but he’s my son!” I shouted at her, drowning the sound of Taewoo’s cry.

 

“Don’t you talk to me like that. You’re the one who goes on sleeping in your old flame’s room.” Eunji cupped Taewoo’s ears.

 

“Sleep... I almost died last night eating your family’s fancy meal.” I walked back and forth, rubbing my temple.

 

“And how convenient your ex saved you like a knight in shining armour.” Eunji said sarcastically.

 

“You let that.” I sighed defeated and took a seat. “Noona. Please... I begged of you. Don’t let me go near him anymore. I don’t trust myself with him.”

 

Eunji carried Taewoo and walked up to me. She sat beside me and threw he arms around me. “I’m sorry. There was nothing I could do. I tried to get you but he didn’t let me and Taewoo was crying for you. I’m sorry you had to deal with him.” she rubs my back, comforting. Taewoo too stopped crying and snuggled up on my chest.

 

“Minyo chamchoon no no? Taewoo say no.” the boy whispered in between his sniffles.

 

“Yeah... no no.” I pressed my lips on the crown of both Taewoo and Eunji. “I’m sorry.” I whispered under my breath.

 

“Yesterday was… unavoidable. You’ll be fine Taehyunie… you’re strong. You’re not the same naïve kid from years ago.” Eunji rested her head on my shoulder, linking her arms with mine.

 

It is something to face. I need to face this… myself.

 

 

 


	9. Something Needed to be Done

**MINO**

Letting myself fall back on the bed, I brought the shirt I clutched in my hand to my nose. I breathe the lingering scent in. I rolled on my front and buried my nose in the pillow he used. I’m acting like a creep right now, but anything that could make me feel a little closer to him is enough for now. I sighed, remembering how angry he was just now. His room next door is quiet now, no more of his yelling voice. I guessed they made up.

 

I let my mind drifted back to last night. When I carried him back to my room, almost immediate his wife appeared in front of my door.

 

_“Is there a good reason to why my husband is in this room instead of that room?” she pointed at their room’s door._

_Despite me wearing nothing but a towel hanging low on my hips, she doesn’t even bat a lash at me. I let her in, guiding her to where he is sleeping._

 

 _“The soup earlier, it’s a lobster soup. He can’t eat it. Don’t you know?”_ _I sat on the couch, wiping dry my dripping wet hair._

_“He never told me.” She sat on the bed with her legs crossed facing me. Her thigh high slit allows her to show off her long flawless legs._

_I snorts, “Even if he never told you, you guys are married no?” I raised my eyebrow to question her._

_She suddenly sighed and shook her head. “If you love him to this point, why you did what you did to him?”_

_“He told you that?” I hesitated to answer her but I can’t help it._

_“Give me a new shirt now.” She said as her attention is turned back to him._

_I frowned at the weird request, but I still comply. I walked to the wardrobe and took one shirt for her._

_My eyes went big when she took off his shirt. “What are you doing?”_

_“Changing him. He vomited didn’t he? We can’t leave him sleeping with this vomit stained shirt. Get me a towel to wipe him a little.” She order me around like it was natural to her._

_I gave everything she needed and stood aside while she did what she did. Only helped when she asked for. I waited for her to ask me to bring him back to their room but it never came. Instead she sat with me at the couch._

_“I know about what you did roughly. And to be honest, meeting you and your family, I can take a wild guess why you did that. What I want to know now is, why are you doing this? Samuel already told me a gist of it. He’s not very happy with you nor do I right now.” She stared at me, as if she’s boring holes right through my head._

_“I need him.” I said to her, “I left him years ago because of my foolishness, when I saw him again I felt all the walls I’ve been building for years crumbled. I remembered back how he used to make me feel complete even though we were just teens. I remember how he could calms me down just by smiling. I...”_

_“Are you sure it’s not because you see him being happy while you’re not?” she cut me off. “I did a quick digging on you. And wow Song Mino ssi, your life baffles me. I’m gonna let you off the hook this time. But remember that he’s a married man, he’s my husband, my freedom and the father of our child. The only way for me to let him go is, if he himself wanted an out. After what you did, I would’ve object you fully but I know Taehyun still have some feelings towards you. I won’t stop you nor won’t I support you. You’re on your own. And if Taehyun says anything, I’ll follow his lead. Take this night as a thanks for looking out for him. I’ll send Taewoo here later. He can’t sleep without him.” and with that she stood and left._

I goes through one by one of my life after him. It’s true that I am a mess. Never sticking long with any women, I treated everyone like dirt. I did my work aggressively, I never cared about anything but wins. Those are among other things that surely makes anyone who knows shook their head. She hits the spot, my life is a mess and right now the only normalcy I can find is him. I moved away into that cabin to ground me up but nothing can…

 

I sighed, how I said to myself. How to fix my own mistake? I stared at the walls with en empty mind. Nothing I can do or say that could make everything okay again. He clearly refuses me. Mulling over it won’t do me any good, I decided to go and talk to none other than my sister. She knows what happened years ago, surely two head is better than one.

 

I make my way up to the pool where she always sits to sunbathe. Passing through women, some I know and some I don’t wearing skimpy bikinis somehow didn’t even attracts me anymore, all I can think about is him.

 

“Danah ya... can I have a minute?” I nodded at my future brother in law. The pretty man nodded with a leer. I dismiss him and pull my sister to the side. I told her everything and as expected I earned a few smack on the back of my head. “Yah! I know I did wrong but can you at least give me some ideas?”

 

“Ideas?! Are you crazy? No matter how much you like someone you don’t go destroying ones marriage! He’s married for goodness’s sake. No wonder he looked so familiar. So he’s the reason you fucked your way through college? He’s the reason why all my friends hated me because you dumped them?” Danah pushed me away.

 

“Hey… listen to me. He’s not in a happy marriage. They are married for years and she doesn’t even know he’s allergic to seafood. I’ve been stalking him for weeks and this is the first time I even see her. She don’t deserve him.”

 

“And you think you do? You might be my brother but what you did is wrong. I’m not gonna help you with anything. You deserve this.” Danah glared and walked away.

 

I sat down with my hands buried in my hair. A squeal attracts my attention, it is Taewoo running towards the kid’s pool with a beach ball. He followed Taewoo behind with his board shorts and a thin short sleeve shirt walking hand in hand with his wife. His eyes are both swollen and red but his lips are still smiling.

 

She laid on the lounge chair with her bikini while he got down in the pool playing with their kid.

 

“You can’t ruin something that did not exist.” Jinwoo sat beside me. “The only reason they are still married is because my sister didn’t want to let go of her career.  Our family might have been arrogant, but we’re old fashioned. No matter how old a woman is, she still needs to follow her husband. Taehyunie lets her pursue her modelling career while our family against it. Taehyunie is her key to freedom. Even when they only love each other like brother and sister, staying married is the only way for her to stay away from our family and him to repay her kindness.”

 

“Freedom?” I frowned. “If they don’t love each other, Taewoo?”

 

“I can’t let you know our family’s secret.” The groom to be giggled. “But I can tell you her weakness. It is up to you how to play it.” Jinwoo handed me a photo. “You have your sources right? I can’t wait to see the result.” Jinwoo patted my shoulder, leaving me with a photo of his wife in another man’s arms.

 

I watched my sister’s soon to be husband joined him in the pool. Staring at the photo in my hand, I know that it is something needed to be done. Seeing his smile along with Taewoo’s, I don’t know if I could... I don’t know if I should.

 

 

 


	10. Something Needed to Consider

**TAEHYUN**

The wedding ended smooth sailing. He really did stayed away from us, however his eyes looked pained every time I see it. Guilt slowly builds up in me, was I too rough? I treated him like he is some bad guy trying to ruin my family but he was only helping. Eunji noona didn’t say anything after that, even when she goes back to Japan right after the wedding, she only tells us to take care and the she’ll come visit in a few weeks.

 

Everything is back to the way it is now… I chant in my head. I tried my hardest to keep my mind off of him but it kept going back. The memories we spent kept haunting me, every night I dreamt of the same thing. All my effort to live up my life has gone down the drain when he came back.

 

“... hyun? Taehyun?” Samuel’s voice woke me up.

 

“Oh?” I blinked my eyes, pulling me back to the people around me.

 

“We asked if you have anything else to say.” Samuel along with the rest of the staff stared at me with frowns on their face.

 

“N-no…” I shook my head with blush.

 

The dean postponed our meeting and call it a day for us. I hurried my way out of the conference room, embarrassed at my own conduct. How can I think of him while at work like that? I smacked my own head as I make my way to my office as soon as I could.

 

“Taehyun! Wait up!” Sameul called me from behind.

 

“Sorry hyung! I don’t wanna talk right now.” I waved my hand at him.

 

“Just wait up! What’s wrong with you? I’ve never seen you so absent minded like that.” Samuel grabbed me by the elbow and stopped me just a few steps away from the stairs leading down.

 

I looked anywhere but him. “Nothing… okay? It’s nothing. I just have…a lot in my mind right now.” I felt ashamed of myself for ever thinking about him.

 

“You know you can count on me. You can always talk to me.” Samuel looked for my eyes but I dodge him.

 

“Yeah hyung… I know. Thanks.” I moved away from him and head straight to my office.

 

Just as I about to settle in my office, my frantic mind was surprised at the sudden knock on my door. I cursed inside, thinking that Samuel didn’t give up. The door knob is turning but I already locked it from inside. With a long frustrated sigh, I unlocked the door and shout out, “What do you…want. Oh… Dean Choi. I didn’t expect you. I thought…”

 

“It’s fine. I need a little favour from you.” Dean Choi took a seat in my office without even waiting for me to ask him.

 

 

 

 

 

Standing nervously in front of the three storey mansion. I tuck my hair back and wipe away the sweat from my palm before ringing the bell. Taewoo tug on my right hand pouting, sulking for not letting him bring his bunny. Dean Choi came at the door and invite me in. “Thank god you’re here early. Now act like we’re close.” Dean Choi grabbed my shoulder and suddenly laughed. “Nice kid you got there. How old is he? What’s his name?” Dean Choi glanced at Taewoo.

 

“Three. Taewoo…” I answered shortly. My eyes looked around the big house. Filled with luxurious things, the inside surely matched the lined up cars outside.

 

“I never knew you are married and with a kid.” Dean Choi raised his brows.

 

“But…I always bring him to work.” I smiled awkwardly. Dean Choi is someone who is a little eccentric. Though I never talk about personal things with him, Dean Choi is someone who carries himself well. Not minding other people’s business and has his own circle of friends.

 

“Really? I never seen him. Wait…” Dean Choi disappears and came back with a boy tailing him. “This is my nephew, he’s 10. Yeon Jun ah, bring Taewoo and play with him okay?” Dean Choi’s nephew bribed Taewoo with a toy car and Taewoo gladly follows the kid without even saying goodbye to me. “Yeon Jun will take him to the play room. You can get him when the dinner is ready. Now…we need to get our story straight before stepping inside that room.” Dean Choi pointed at the ivory double door down the hall.

 

“Story straight?” I frowned at him.

 

“You know I’m married to a man right?” Dean Choi took a seat at the chair and pointed to the opposite one for me to sit. “You’re not some homophobic are you?”

 

“N-no…of course not.” I sat down.

 

“Great. Well you see…my husband seems to think that I’m a boring man now with no younger friends. I wanna invite Samuel here but he’s heading out of town first thing tomorrow morning and the youngest lecturer there is…is you. What I need you to do is just pretend that we’re friends so that he wouldn’t know that I only have those wrinkly old people as my friends.” Dean Choi lights up his cigarette.

 

I instinctively leans away from him. “What’s wrong with being friends with old people?”

 

“No…no… don’t get me wrong. It’s great and all of them already met with my partner it’s just that…” Dean Choi leans forward and whispers. “He thinks I’m old because I’m surrounded by old people.”

 

“Isn’t Dean Park is the same age as you?” I remembered the petite professor always wearing pink frame spectacles and high bun as hair with pencil skirt every single day.

 

“You mean Sandara Park? The Performance Arts’ dean? Yah… She’s four years older though.” Dean Choi. “This is why he said I look old. He works around young people while I got that old hag as a friend.” Dean Choi huffed frustratingly at his smoke. “Anyways…before we go into that room. For a starter…remember to call me hyung…Seunghyun hyung. The rest just play along with whatever I say. You copy?”

 

I held in with the things that came up in my mind and nodded. “Yes…Dean Choi…Sorry. I mean… Seunghyun hyung.”

 

“Great. Let’s go in the dining room before he star…ts” loud clattering sounds came from the dining room. “…that” Dean Choi put out his cigarette and led the way to the dining room. “He’s been trying to cook these days…so bear with it.”

 

We came in the room greeted by a man wearing an apron with smudge all over his shirt and face. “Oh… hi there.” The man waved. “Hyung. Can you help me get the plates?” the man placed a weird looking black thing on the table.”

 

“Babe… you really sure we can eat that?” Dean Choi pointed at everything placed on the dining table.

 

“What do you mean we can’t? The chicken is a little brown but it tasted good. This cake too tasted nice. Taste it yourself!” The man who I wasn’t introduced yet kept going on and on about the dishes and at one point Dean Choi turned to me and said…

 

“Can you please excuse us for a while? Make yourself at home.” Dean Choi practically pushed me out of the room and left me alone.

 

Feeling a little lost…and awkward. I stepped away from the door and starts wandering around the big house. Somehow I ended up in the kitchen. Everything is a mess. No wanting to intrude I went to look for the kids. I peeked into a room and saw Taewoo fully focus playing with his new found friend. The nanny offered me a glass of wine saying that her employers are both wine enthusiast.

 

To be polite, I took the glass and make my way to the outdoor seating area. I sat there alone, feeling a little annoyed. Dean Choi asked for a favour and this is what I got. I was promised a simple dinner with a few people and just go home. I rolled my eyes, giving my attention to my phone when a shadow looms over me. I turned around and was surprised to see him standing behind me.

 

“Tell me I’m not seeing things now.” He said. He rubs his face and took a long breath in.

 

I looked away. My brain screamed to me to get out and just leave but my body isn’t moving. I just stood there and stare at him.

 

“Don’t… don’t get angry. Don’t run away. I’m… I’m sorry. I… I was. I sho-should… I should leave. I’ll leave. So don’t. I’ll just… I’ll just…” he turned around to leave but Dean Choi caught him.

 

“Oh Mino ah…you’re here?” Dean Choi patted his shoulder.

 

“Yeah…I was just leaving hyung. Tell Jiyong hyung I swung by.” He smiled a bitter smile and started walking away.

 

“Already? Yah… Jiyong already cooked for us tonight. Where are you going?” Dean Choi stopped him.

 

He turned around to face Dean Choi but his eyes were on me. “I… I have to go.” Those hurtful eyes quivers.

 

The nanny suddenly appears from behind them with Taewoo crying. “Appa~~” I ignored both of the grown man and goes straight to my son. I took Taewoo inside and rubs his back. The nanny told me Taewoo tripped and knock his forehead at the door. Dean Choi’s husband handed me an ice pack when I went into his chaotic kitchen.

 

“Sorry about the mess.” The man said. “I’m Jiyong.”

 

I pulled my attention from the wailing Taewoo and shook Dean Choi’s partner’s hand briefly. “Taehyun.” I peeled the ice pack from Taewoo’s head and took a peek at the red bump. “Taewoo ah… does it still hurt?”

 

“It hurts!!!” Taewoo continues to wail.

 

I pat his back and held him close to my chest. “Sorry about this. He doesn’t usually take this long to stop crying.” I walk back and forth carrying Taewoo consoling him to stop crying.

 

“It’s fine. Yeon Jun used to be like that too. That bump must’ve hurt a lot.” Jiyong slung the towel over his shoulder and grab a pan.

 

 

“What’re you doing there?” I rocked the sobbing Taewoo in my arms while peering over Jiyong’s shoulder.

 

Jiyong slid the microwave pizza onto the pan. “As you just saw earlier… we don’t have anything to eat.”

 

“That’s…maybe you should put some oil or butter first.” I commented. Taewoo is slowly falling asleep on my shoulder with his thumb stuffed in his mouth.

 

“You don’t happen to know how to cook do you?” Jiyong flashed his gummy smile at me.

 

“I lived alone since I finished high school. I had to.” I took the ice pack, pouring the melted ice into the sink.

 

“Can you help?” just as I was about to object, the kitchen’s door suddenly opened. Our eyes both goes straight to it.

 

He came in with his hand on the back of his neck. “Hey hyung… I nee…”

 

“Great timing Mino. Take Taewoo from Taehyun. He needs to help me cook.” Jiyong said.

 

He and I were surprised. He locked eyes with me, I can see the guilt reflecting.

 

“The food is for us to eat. So come on!” Jiyong flail his hand in the air, calling him to take Taewoo off my hand.

 

He opened his mouth to say something but he gave up. Walking up towards me, saying “Sorry… he’s the boss.” He said with a low voice.

 

Low enough to make me shudder. “Ye-yeah.” I handed Taewoo over with Taewoo whining in his slumber. “B-but. Can you stay close?” I caress the swollen spot on Taewoo’s forehead.

 

He stared into my eyes making me stunned, frozen at the spot. “I’ll never leave again.”

 

The sincerity in his voice as well as his eyes took my breath away. Jiyong shooed him away. As he’s taking a seat at the small table with my son in his arms, I can feel the hole he bore on my back with his intense gaze. I shook my head, chasing away the fluttering butterfly I felt in my heart. It is not something needed to consider…he already broke it years ago.

 

 

 


	11. Something I Deeply Regret

**MINO**

Taewoo sleeps soundly in my arms. The warmth I feel from him makes me remembered his warmth. I let my eyes fall on him, with his jacket hung on the chair next to mine, he rolled his sleeves up and tied the apron around his waist. Effortlessly he handled the utensils, fixing up simple dishes to make up the disaster by Jiyong hyung. My eyes followed his graceful motions, moving from one side to the other, chopping off the vegies and making conversations with Jiyong hyung. From time to time he’ll look over his shoulder to watch Taewoo.

 

“You’re boring a hole at his back.” Seunghyun hyung took a seat beside me. I looked up at him, startled for noticing me. “He’s someone you know? Judging from before…I take it… didn’t end well?”

 

I opened my mouth to say something but he called us out before I could. “Food’s ready.” He smiled at Seunghyun hyung sweetly but bitterly at me. “You can give him to me.” He placed the plates he was holding on the table beside me and held out his hand to take Taewoo.

 

I wanted to refuse but… I stood and give him his son. Taewoo whined and started crying again. He rocked Taewoo in his arms, walking back and forth trying to get Taewoo back to sleep.

 

“Why don’t you put him to bed in the guest’s room?” Jiyong hyung patted his back. “Mino ya…show Taehyunie the room. I’ll go call ahjumma.”

 

Both of us looked at each other. He looked away first and I starts to fidget on my heels.

 

“What are you still doing here? Yeobo… set the table while we get Taewoo set for bed. Yeon Jun ah!!!” Jiyong hyung called out for their nephew and disappears to the second floor.

 

“You know how it is… go go.” Seunghyun hyung shooed us both and get the foods.

 

“Th-the room is this way.” I took a few steps out of the kitchen’s doorway but his foot are still nailed to the floor. “You should listened to Jiyong hyung… he can be a little pushy but he meant good.” I sighed when he still didn’t move. “Correct that…he will be pushy. Trust me?” I smiled awkwardly at him.

 

He hesitantly nodded and took small steps slowly.

 

I lead him to the room Jiyong hyung was making a fuss of. Once I switched on the lamp, toys scattered around the room, few clothes were thrown carelessly. “Yeon Jun always sleeps in here if he’s staying.” I stepped inside, giving way for him to enter. “Yeon Jun is Seunghyun hyung’s nephew. Hye Yoon is Seunghyun hyung’s noona, Yeo Jun’s mom. She’s a bit busy going around managing events. Yeon Jun always stays here with Jiyong hyung and Seunghyun hyung.” I continued to babble on my own even though I know he wasn’t listening.

 

“You can put Taewoo in here. It’ll be safer. Yeon Jun always sleeps on the bed with his nanny.” Jiyong hyung came followed by Yeon Jun in his pyjama and Jang Mi ahjumma.

 

“Sorry. I was trying to make him finish his homework.” Jang Mi ahjumma patted the pillows for Yeon Jun.

 

“It’s fine.” He said.

 

“Why don’t you settle Taewoo in the crib here?” Jiyong hyung uncovered the crib.

 

He lowered Taewoo into the crib, loosen the buttons on Taewoo’s neat shirt and kissed the forehead of the boy.

 

“He’ll be fine with Jang Mi ahjumma. Dinners await. Let’s go!” Jiyong hyung claps his hands and hurried us out of the room.

 

“B-but.” He resisted a little.

 

“Don’t worry. Jang Mi ahjumma is _really_ good with kids. She can take care of your son while we eat. Come on.” Jiyong hyung pushed him out.

 

He huffed. “He is pushy.” He said under his breath with a snarl.

 

I chuckled a little. “Told ya he’ll be one.”

 

He clicked his tongue and stomped his feet while pouting. It was as if we both were back at the school.

 

I smiled as I followed them downstairs. Seunghyun hyung already arranged the table along with the foods. I took a seat beside Jiyong hyung while he took a seat opposite us. Seunghyun hyung poured red wine into our glasses.

 

“So… how did you two know each other?” Seunghyun hyung suddenly ask.

 

“They do?” Jiyong hyung looked at all three of our faces.

 

His head dropped low.

 

“We went to the same high school.” I took a sip of the red wine.

 

The silence took over the room when he avoided my eyes…everyone’s eyes.

 

Jiyong hyung clears his throat to break the awkward silence. “Let’s dig in… we’re lucky you invited Taehyunie, yeobo. These looked amazing.”

 

“Yeah…if not surely chicken for dinner is fine as well.” Seunghyun hyung’s words made us laughed. Though he only laughed out an awkward laugh, at least his face is a little less bitter than before.

 

We sat there, enjoying our meal, it felt like those hard feelings washed away. His gorgeous smile carved on his face. He talked about his work, he talked about Taewoo, he talked about his passion for arts and he talked about his life. I know Seunghyun hyung worked at the same college, I just didn’t expect for them to know each other.

 

“Seunghyun never mentioned your name. I genuine thought he doesn’t have friends in that college.” Jiyong hyung said.

 

It’s true…when I frequently went to that college and stopped by Seunghyun hyung’s office, I never seen them talked to each other. I frowned at him. “Yeah…I never seen you talked to Seunghyun hyung at the college.”

 

The three of them turned their heads and stared at me.

 

“And this happens when?” Jiyong hyung glared at me. I bite my tongue and cursed for that slip. “For the last few weeks, you’ve been missing from the office. That’s where you’ve gone to?” before I could retaliate, a smack landed on the back of my head. “Yah! You almost lost Miss Kim’s contract because of that. What were you doing there when you were supposed to be working?”

 

Jiyong hyung is nagging to my ears, when I looked up to meet his eyes, Seunghyun hyung opened his mouth to have a say on the matters as well. “Oh wow…I thought you were doing your work there.”

 

“And youu hyung. You never mentioned seeing him at work.” Jiyong slapped Seunghyun hyung’s upper arms.

 

“Ouh…hey. I thought you knew.” Seunghyun hyung rubs the spot.

 

“Seriously Mino…what is going on with you? You never neglects your client, playing hooky like that. I’ve been covering for your ass. I demand to know why. Even though I said I’ll wait for you to explain but going to Seunghyun hyung’s college? What for?”

 

“Jiyong ah…why don’t we talk about that another time? You’re making it awkward for Taehyun.” Seunghyun hyung pointed out how nervous Taehyun looked.

 

“Oh…sorry. This guy here is very workaholic so for him to skip work to wander aimlessly at some college is out of the ordinary.” Jiyong hyung gulped down the wine in one go clearly are trying to control his anger.

 

“Mino here is amazing you know…” our eyes locked. “…he was offered to be a senior partner of Jiyong’s firm when he was mere 26 years old and made up the wall in two years…making him the youngest one between them three. Even Jiyong was a bit older when he managed to score the name on the wall. For him to leave his job behind is…must be for something meant the world to him.” Seunghyun hyung smiled proudly at him but his eyes are still on me. “Taehyun?”

 

He finally broke our eye contact to look away. He wiped his lips and drinks the plain water. I can see his lips trembling.

 

“Oh…you haven’t touched your wine?” Jiyong hyung pointed it out.

 

“I drove here so…” he smiled.

 

“Nonsense… it’s late and Taewoo is already asleep. Just stay the night. Mino will stay too. Right?” Jiyong hyung glared at me.

 

“Ye-yeah? B-but I don’t think I sh… OUCH!” Jiyong hyung stepped on my foot.

 

“See…so feel free to drink. We have a _lot_ of rooms here. Don’t worry.” Jiyong held his glass up high.

 

He look at me as if pleading for some help…instead I picked up my glass and clunk it to Jiyong hyung’s. He then turned to Seunghyun hyung for help but…fortunately Seunghyun hyung agrees with us.

 

Unable to turn three of us down, he reluctantly pick up his glass and clunk it with a sigh released from his nose. I smiled in victory.

 

Once we finished our meals, I helped Seunghyun hyung in cleaning up while Jiyong hyung sat with him in the living room talking and enjoying the fine wine Seunghyun hyung had picked. Seunghyun hyung tried to pry about him and me but I kept my lips tight. Seeing how he looked at me when I stepped into that living room after I finished doing the dishes, I tried to sneak out but Seunghyun hyung caught me.

 

 

 

 

 

“And how did it end like this again?” I sighed at the limped figure on the bed in front of me. “For someone who clearly wanted to have nothing to do with me…you surely are too relaxed don’t you think?”

 

I kneel on floor and took off his socks one by one. Moving up to his shirt, I loosen a few buttons to make him a little less stuffy. “Hyung~~” I heard he whined in his drunken sleep.

 

I paused at the word. I blinked a few times and listened intently to make sure I didn’t misheard anything. I hover a little closer to him.

 

“Hyung~~” he whined again and this time…he circled his arms around my neck pulling me down on top of him. “You finally came.” He slurs.

 

I stopped breathing for a second. I pulled away and stared his flushed face.

 

His lids are halfway peeled and his eyes are on me. “I miss you.” He brought his hand to my face. His line of sight went around my face, as if trying to memorize it. He slowly closed his eyes and pulled me in for a kiss. Our lips pressed, I shut my eyes and the tears flowed. This is definitely something I deeply regret. “I love you.” I whispered to him.

 

 


	12. Something Comforting

**TAEHYUN**

 

 

_Warm light bathe upon our body. The warmth shared by him wraps comforting around mine, the smell of the grass filled my nose. I heard his muffled laugh and suddenly bright light hits my eyes. “Hyung!” I opened my eyes only to see him, holding the book that was covering my face._

 

_“Are you reading or are you sleeping?” his deep voice mocks me._

 

_“Hey…I was just resting my eyes. You’re the one who’s sleeping.” I tried to snatch my book back from him but he circled his arms around my waist and pulled me onto his lap._

 

_“You’re the one who’s ignoring me. What were you reading?” making sure I couldn’t reach the book he is holding away. He turned the book around to read the title on the cover. “This weird fairy tales again?”_

 

_Glaring at him I grab the book. “I like the original ones more.”_

 

_“Disney’s are too cute for art lover Nam Taehyun ssi?” he swiped his forefinger on my nose._

 

_“Shut up hyung.” I pushed his chest away. Stuffing the book back into my messenger, I stood and walked away._

 

_“Awww come on…you were adorable at Disney land.” He chased after me, swoop me up in his arms, claiming my lips._

 

_“You promised you wouldn’t bring that up again.” I pouted, smacked his chest. The school’s trip last year, brought all of us to Tokyo’s Disney land. Even though I hated those cheery, bubbly atmosphere but I can’t help but to be over excited. Of course he kept teasing me about it seeing how dark my taste always is._

 

_“But you were so cute.” He pinches my nose until it turns red as a clown’s._

 

_“Shut up! Cute is a wrong word to describe me.” I hooked my arms on his neck, staring deep in his eyes._

 

_“On the contrary, everything about you is cute.” He leans down and captured my lips. I took deep breaths, taking in his old spice scent._

 

A rude awakening to those sweet memories I wanted to bury. It was at the meadows behind our school… the second year we were…foolishly involved together. I rubbed my temple, feeling a whole lot of grogginess. The whole room is dark, even in the darkness I can see the room is spinning.  Getting used to the pitch black room, my eyes can see a figure lying beside me. I looked down to my own hands and see how tightly I clutch the figure’s shirt.

 

I took a long deep breath, trying to calm myself down, taking in the familiar scent along with it,  I ignored the buzz in my head and sat up. Pushing whatever it is wrapping around me away, knowing what it is.

 

“Before you starts freaking out…I didn’t do anything.” He said, looking all dejected. “I was just…bringing you up here for you to rest. That’s all.” He puts both of his hands up.

 

I looked around the room, clutching on my own shirt trying to push away the headache I’ve been feeling. I took in the sight of his messy bed hair and wrinkled shirts. I scoot away from him little by little, not trusting myself around him.

 

“You were drunk. Here…” he took something from the bedside table. “…take some Tylenol.” He hand over a white pill along with a bottled water.

 

My eyes landed on his lips making me having a flashback of me doing something extremely stupid. I kissed him. Horrified by my own actions, I scamper my way to the nearest door and locked it. I slid down onto the cold floor, cursing at myself silently for being stupid. How many years have I stayed sober?  

 

“Taehyun!” he knocked on the door behind me.

 

My eyes went around the darken room. With a click from outside, the room is lit. He switched on the light for me. I am now sitting on the floor of the bathroom.

 

“Th-there’s a medical cabinet behind the mirror. If you’re too sick, just take the painkillers in there.” He said, I heard a soft thud against the door I’m leaning. “I’m sorry for hurting you Taehyun. All these years…I wasn’t aware of it.”

 

My body froze. I looked around for an escape route, refusing to listen to what he’s trying to say but… it is futile.

 

“I thought what I did was the best for you. I really do. I missed you so much. You said I didn’t write…that you were waiting. I did… I wrote a lot of letters, hundreds of emails that I never sent out. I lost count on how many times I dialled your number only to hang up. I’m… I know what I did to you is awful, walking away without telling you why…but I really thought you would forget me. I really thought that you don’t feel as deep as this. I’m sorry Taehyun. The reasons to why I disappear was as simple as making a choice. My family is as simple as that. I had to choose between you or my future. I chose the latter not knowing that you too are a part of it. You may not believe me, you may not trust me…but I really do think of you all the time. I didn’t want to look you up because I know…once I look back, I can never take a step forward. I pledge to myself that I won’t…only if fate brought us together again that I would have the courage to reach out for you again. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve cost you. Those letters and emails are yours to begin with. I’ll… I’ll give it to you. I’m sorry Taehyun. For this night too. I didn’t expect to see you here… I never intended to take advantage of this situation. I was just overjoyed to see you not trembling in anger towards me. I… I just want to be close to you. I just want to touch you. I never intended to make you feel pain. I’m sorry Taehyun. I’ll leave… the next time we bumped with each other… I’ll leave. Thank you for making me realize how strong my feelings are to you. Sorry for all the pain I’ve caused. Goodbye Taehyunie. I’m glad you’re happy.”

 

I waited nervously, both my fist are turning white from holding myself back. I chant to myself not to be swayed by his sweet words. Footsteps from outside the room faded away with a shut of the door. Gathering all my courage, I took a peek outside the room and relieved to find it empty. Seconds later I see the headlamp lighting up the windows. I walked to it and sees his car driving away. Is this what I really want? I asked myself. Somehow I can hear my heart is breaking. I don’t understand why but tears running down my cheeks.

 

Morning came without me sleeping a wink after. I kept my smile for my son and the hosts. I bit my tongue like I always did and held back the overwhelming emotions… like I always did. I toughen up myself… like I always did. I made sure that no one can see of how I felt… like I always did.

 

I lived my life day by day… pretending that everything is okay believing that it would be okay again. Until a parcel came to my office. I unwrapped the brown paper carefully and found a tiffany blue box with a coral ribbon tied on top. A card attached to it written…

 

> Ever since I met you again, I’ve been carrying this box around.
> 
> I’m giving it back to its rightful owner.
> 
> Do whatever you please with it.
> 
>  
> 
> Consider this as the closure you looked for.
> 
> Take this as the freedom I stole from you.
> 
> It is... our end.
> 
>  
> 
> I have no right to say anything but...
> 
> I love you Taehyun...always was and always will be.
> 
>  
> 
> Goodbye
> 
> -Mino-

 

Eagerly I opened the box, tracing each pieces of paper inside the box. Some are new, some are old and worn out.  Pictures of us scattered in between the layers. I picked one… the one we took on that day on the meadows…in the dream where I last saw him days ago. I traced the words written behind it.

 

_Even though I never said those words…know that I feel the same._

 

This is supposed to be something comforting… but why do I still trapped? I broke down in tears.

 

 


	13. Something Hidden

**MINO**

Taking a long drag of my cig, I let myself drown in the light breeze of the warm night by the ocean. The silence is filled with the sound of the wave hitting the shore giving me a clear view of where I am despite having my eyes closed. Beach…a place where I often seek refuge every time my life is upside down, a mess. I tapped my cig twice, making the ash flew along the soft wind.

 

“Yah! Use the ashtray. Don’t go pollute my beach.” A man’s voice blast off near my ear.

 

I sighed, slowly opening my eyes. I rolled my eyes at the figure seated next to my chaise lounge. “Whatever hyung.” I squashed the bud, reaching out for the bourbon I placed on the table on my left.

 

“For once I thought you came here to have fun instead. Ughhh… you’re such an emo baby. Can you just toss that moody part of yours and join some party?” the older man jab on my upper arms.

 

“There’s party, there’s booze. So lead the way.” I gulped down the glass empty. Leaving the obviously surprised man stunned there.

 

I stepped inside the room I currently resides and changed my loose tank top into something more party appropriate shirt. Leaving the shorts I’m wearing as it is. I paused my steps in front of the mirror. The reflections of the beach is as clear as a day in it, making me remembered his smile. I raked my hair up, rubbing my face as I feel the scruff getting rougher, how many mornings have I skipped my daily shave? I myself am dubious. Seconds later I joined my best friend in his car. Seunghoon hyung is my senior back in law school. His playfulness had made my hellish days at the college a bit easy to face. Seunghoon used to own a small shack back in California and now he has a whole mansion here in Hawaii.

 

Seunghoon drove us to a club. Hawaiian club is different than those in Korea he said. Seemingly it is still the same since he left the Korean clubbing scenes for 18 years and counting now. I once asked him if he ever have any intention deep down in him to return to Korea, all Seunghoon said was…there’s nothing left for him in Korea. We enter the dimmed but loud room with just a nod exchanged between Seunghoon and the bouncer up front.

 

Seunghoon left me to join in on the floor. I found a cosy spot by the bar and just watched from afar. As usual, I picked my drink of choice and just let myself drown in my own thoughts. The beach has always reminded me of him. Maybe because we once had a trip to the beach or was it the scent of the ocean’s breeze is very similar to him or was it the thumping of my heart every time I see him is the same as the sound of the waves hitting the rocks. Whatever it is, the beach is the place that I felt close to him the most.

 

I was robbed out of my trance when Seunghoon’s voice echoed in the club. I swirled my high chair around and see him climbing up the DJ booth and basically hijacking the mic. Seunghoon called out my name, I just raise my glass to him. As my eyes roams around the hectic club, I caught on someone who I thought I know. I frowned and squint my eyes like it’ll help my vision clearer.

 

Once I had confirmed who it is, I finished up the drink I had in hand and make my way to the figure. I stood on the side, nailing my eyes on the woman who obviously intoxicated, swaying her hips to the beat ignoring all the males who swarmed around her. I still stood on the side seeing the hands reaching out her bodies, touching her inappropriately but none of it managed to pull her attention. Getting enough of the obscene scenes, I stepped in and pulled her to the side.

 

“You ought to remember you’re someone’s wife.” I said through my gritted teeth, clenching her brachium as hard as I could, unable to control my anger to the betrayal I’m witnessing.

 

“The fuck you care.” Eunji snatched her hand back from me.

 

As much as I had drink since this evening, the stench coming from her is much more. “I don’t for you but for your husband I do.”

 

Eunji pushed me out of her way as she swayed back onto the dance floor.

 

I grabbed her by the waist and threw her on my shoulder and just walk out of the club. Seunghoon must’ve seen me since he came running. “Yo dude. What’re you doing?” all eyes around us are staring. I signalled Seunghoon to unlock his car, for which he did.

 

Tossing Eunji’s petite figure on the back seat of Seunghoon’s car, I grab her purse and ransack it to find her hotel. With the smallest luck, I found her room key. Eunji is totally wasted and passed out, we took her back to her room.

 

“Mino ah… who is this girl?” Seunghoon helped holding Eunji’s hair as she got down on her knees, emptying her stomach content.

 

“She’s…mermaid’s wife.” I left them two in the bathroom and crash on the couch. Mermaid… since every time I’m nearby the ocean I got all emotional. My friends who didn’t know Taehyun’s name, called him as mermaid… thinking that he is a woman.

 

“Mermaid? Mermaid is a guy? Ouch!” Seunghoon shouted.

 

“You seriously calling Taehyunie mermaid? Creative much?” Eunji came out of the bathroom, still a little bit tipsy but at least she could hold her ground.

 

“You never told us he’s a freaking guy. He has a dick an all then?” Seunghoon’s statement earned him a towel slap from Eunji, making me giving her an applause in my brain.

 

Eunji sat opposite me, staring… glaring at me. “Tell me a good reason why…you ruined my night out.”

 

“I’m not about to sit and watch you cheat on Tae.” I glared at her back.

 

“Cheating is when feelings are involved. And sex is just sex. If that’s what you’re implying about me cheating.” Eunji broke off our eye contact and rummage her suitcase, searching for something.

 

“Having sex despite having any feelings are still considered as cheating when you are married.”  My eyes followed her movement, Eunji pulled out a tab of pills and popped two and downed it with some water acquired from the sink.

 

“Not when the husband is well aware about it.” Eunji scoffed.

 

“What?” I stood. My hands balled into fists, Seunghoon already standing beside me, trying to hold me back from attacking Eunji.

 

“Taehyunie knows that I won’t cheat on him. I’m not capable to. Besides… sex is a necessity. When he can’t give it to me why would he stop me from acquiring it from outsiders?” Eunji threw herself onto the bed and broke out in laughter.

 

I don’t understand a word she says but I know I should be angry about it. “At least think about Taewoo.”

 

“That kid? He might been born from my egg… but I’m not the one who carried him. Why should I think about him? Taehyunie get everything covered when it comes to him. He’s just another kid to me.” Eunji sighed. A hint of sadness can be heard from her voice. “I’m no one to them.” She whispered with her eyes closed. “You should go now. I need my beauty sleep. Go! Before I call the security on you two.” Eunji rolled the blanket wrapping her and switched off all lights.

 

Seunghoon dragged me out. Led to his car, I just took the steps one after one without even caring how. I know now … something hidden is uncovered and all I could think off is how deep does it go.

 

 


	14. Something Concerning

**TAEHYUN**

 

_“Hyung!! Hyung!! Look…” I ran towards the foaming water. “…this shell is so weird.” I picked up green pieces of shell._

_“Tae ah… don’t get too close to the rising water.” He squat beside me. The bright sun makes his tan skin ten times mesmerizing than usually. He belongs under the sun rather than the shade. “This is a sea glass not a shell.” He picked the glass off of my hand and take a closer look at it._

_“Really? What is sea glass?” I stared at his face. It was my first time coming to a beach without having to baby sit by my baby brother. The last my family and I came to the beach I was 10 but Donghyun was already 5 at the time and kept wanting to follow me around. This is the first time I got to walkfreely without having to worry about Donghyun for a change._

_He smiled. “Reversed gem.” He tucked the piece I found into his pocket. He entwined our fingers and pulled me towards another sea glass half buried in the sand just a few steps away from us._

_I frowned and let myself be pulled along. “Gem? Is it valuable then? Why reversed? Look…there’s another one there…” I tried pulling off my hand from his but he never lets go. He followed to where I was going, keeping us close and connected._

_I heard his deep chuckle. “If gems are nature made refined by men… sea glass is men made refined by nature.” He picked the piece out of my hand and stuff it into his pocket again._

_We spent all morning searching for the sea glass till it filled up both of his pockets. He found me a small crystal jar to keep all of the sea glasses we found. There were blues, there were greens, some yellows, a lot of reds and various other shades. Unfortunately we only found one amber coloured ones. “I’m gonna keep this one.” He said. Picking up the amber coloured sea glass._

_Instead of heading back to the inn, he led me to a small jewellery shop. I watched from the side as he put in a request to bind the sea glass with silver wire. I kept my silence and just stood there wondering what his intentions were. He bind it with silver wire making it into a pendant. Picking a silver chain and turned it to a necklace. I frowned._

_“Pick one.” He suddenly said._

_“Huh?” I blinked… puzzled to his order._

_“I said pick one.” He nudged the crystal jar._

_“Pick one?” I asked again._

_“Yeah… pick one.” He shook the jar._

_“What?” I asked for the third time._

_He sighed. “Just pick one will ya?” He sounded a little annoyed._

_I clicked my tongue. I slammed the jar and picked random piece, threw it on the counter and practically stomped my way out of the store. I make my way to the convenient store down the road and bought myself a vanilla ice cream. I crossed my legs and fold my arms, eating the ice cream angrily. Mumbling and cursing him under my breath while sitting alone, ignoring the people who is staring at me weirdly for talking to myself._

_Suddenly I was startled by a cold thing wrapped around my neck. I looked up seeing him towering over me, putting on a necklace. He leans down and pecked my lips. Looking at the pendant, a blue sea glass which apparently I picked earlier._

_“You like roses don’t you? I asked the owner to make a hole to stuff that rose spiral in it. Do you like it? I made it especially for you.” He took a seat beside me and showed off the amber pendant on his necklace. “This reminds me of the colour of your eyes. Since I’m making one for me… I figured I should make one for you too.”_

_All the fiery flame is put out within seconds._

_“It’s our first trip together right? A memoir? Don’t you lose it and surely you can’t lend it to Jinwoo hyung.” He grabbed my hands and pressed his lips on my knuckles. “Don’t ever let go of my hands you hear me? What if you got lost? How can I explain to my future mother that I lose her son on a secret trip?”_

_I snorts, hiding my smiles behind my ice cream, I let my heart blooms secretly knowing that I’ve fallen deep._

I stared at the crystal jar filled with colourful sea glasses we collect together on that trip. I thought I lost this after the wing I was staying caught on fire. It was hectic back then, most of our stuffs were drenched and a lot were missing during the clean-up. I took out the crystal jar and decided to place it on the top shelf in my home office. Right next to the blue rose sea glass necklace he gave me. It was too beautiful to throw away so I framed it in a crystal box and just use it as a display accessory instead.

 

The box he sent me has so many things. So many memories so many…feelings. I only read a few of the letters, I fish out all of the memento he had stored in there and just keep it on this shelf. The thought of throwing everything out did occur to me but… deep down I know that I shouldn’t try to deny the feelings I had for him. It felt like I’m still stuck in the past and when I see all these things he kept, all these letters he wrote, it felt like the clock finally starts moving again for me. He is right, this is the freedom he stole from me. It’s like a closure for me to finally take a step forward.

 

A knock on the door pulled my attention, “Hey…” Samuel stood at the door, leaning on the door frame, biting into an apple he’s holding. “Whatchu been doing?” Samuel asked.

 

I smiled and shook my head. “Nothing… just unpacking old stuffs. Where’s Taewoo?” trying to not make it too obvious, I slowly gather all the scattered letters from him and put it back into the box, where they belonged.

 

“Asleep.” Samuel steps into the room and sat on the couch, putting his feet on the coffee table like always. “I got two invite to the art gallery opening tomorrow night. Wanna go?” Samuel continued munching on the apple while staring intently at the box I was trying to hide.

 

“Night? Who’ll take care of Taewoo?” I used the same excuses to turn Samuel down…like always.

 

“Won. I already asked him. He said sure.” Samuel said casually.

 

I sighed. “Hyung… how many time have I told you to not just ask people to babysit my son without consulting me first.”

 

“It’s because you always turn me down with the same excuses. I’m not backing down this time.” Samuel sits up straight, focusing his eyes on me with nothing but seriousness in it.

 

“It’s not…” I tried to explain but Samuel cuts me off.

 

“He already said goodbye right? That person.” Samuel said.

 

“How…” I frowned, raking my brains out to figure out how Samuel knows.

 

“You left it on your desk the other day. I assume it came with that box you’re hiding? Look… every time you turn me down before this… I respected that and back off knowing how that person left you hanging. But now he sets you free…go out with me. Eunji already approves. What’s left for you to wait for?” Samuel approach me and placed both of his hands on my shoulder.

 

“You have no business…” I can feel the rage slowly building up in me.

 

“I don’t… okay… I don’t. That’s why I’m trying to make it mine. Can you open your eyes for once on me? Just give me a chance. See me beyond of being friends. Please?” Samuel cupped my face gently.

 

I took a deep breath and just sigh. “Fine! But some other time. Not tomorrow night. I really don’t like leaving Taewoo with someone other than my mom.”

 

“Great! We can just go someplace else then.” Samuel grinned like a fool. “It’s a date! Don’t turn me down next time.” Samuel left while smiling from ear to ear. I just shook my head.

 

I was about to take a seat when Eunji’s number popped on the screen of my phone. I picked the call up and greeted her like always but to my surprise… instead of hers, it is his voice speaking.

 

“Your wife… she’s in a hospital. You should come and pick her up.” He said. Without waiting for my response he hung up. Seconds later a text came in with a hospital address… all the way in Hawaii. I was robbed out of my words. When did he go to Hawaii? How did Eunji ended up with him? What happened with them? How… why… hundreds of questions popped in my head as my hands busied looking for my passport. The situation itself right now is something concerning. However, getting there as soon as I could is the only way all of these puzzle be solved.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Something Pure

MINO

 

I sat on the bench outside the hospital. Chewing the nicotine gum I bought myself at the airport. I closed my eyes, knocking back the green monster that’s trying to crawl out of the wall I put up years ago. A little voice at the back my head whispered, “Serves you right. You’re the one who call him.” I sighed. 

After that night a couple of days ago where I saw how sad and lonely his wife was, I paid a visit the next morning with some breakfast, only to find her having a seizure on the floor. Luckily I accidentally brought home the key card of her room. Right in the middle of the chaos, they asked for her guardian. I was the one who called him and now… I’m starting to regret it. They’re husband and wife, being chummy isn’t exactly strange or anything but seeing it first-hand makes it a bit too real. 

Another sighed escaped my lips, even Taewoo doesn’t want me. Guess I got what I deserve. 

“Mino ssi?” his sweet voice suddenly came to my ear making me turned to see him standing right beside my bench. “C-can I sit here?” he asked politely.

I was too mesmerized by the light shone from behind him had to pull myself together before scooting to the side giving him some space to sit. “S-sure.” 

“I thought you would be smoking out here.” He took a seat awkwardly at the farthest spot on the bench.

“No… it’s still in the hospital.” I looked away from him.

“Ahhh… really? Make sense.” He nodded.

I tried making a conversation after a stretch of awkward silence took over. “Where is Taewoo?” 

“With Eunji.” He said the obvious. 

“Ahhh… of course he is.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling a little embarrassed by the stupid question.

“Eunji… Eunji said you saved her twice. Thank you and sorry for the trouble she cost you.” He bowed low for me.

“N-no… she’s someone dear to you right. It’s… nothing.” A hint of bitterness rose up through my feels.

From the corner of my eyes, I can see him straightening his back, looking a little bit surprise. “Ye-yeah… in anyway… thank you. If there’s anything I could do to repay you. Just mention it.” He stood abruptly and starts to walk away.

I panicked, unconsciously my body that moves faster than my mind, I grabbed on his hand. Stopping him from leaving. “There is.” I said. He turned around. 

Without waiting for his permission, I stepped forward, slipped both of my hands around his neck, grabbing his face and pull him closer, claiming his lips. He gasped. I tighten my grip on his face, deepening the kiss. Properly savouring his sweet lips, as a revenge of the short peck he gave me on the bed the other night. I can fell his hand resting on my front, pushing me away, I didn’t. I swiped my tongue across his lips, slowly probing in. He shuts his eyes tight, his hands fisted my shirt and grips it firmly as I mapped him. Swirling my tongue around his, the memories… their sweet memories flooded. Tears came rolling down my cheeks and I stepped back. I take on the image of his flushed face. My thumb caress his cheeks gently. 

His lips quivers. Slowly he opened his eyes and lock with mine. 

“That’s all I ever wanted.” I wiped the tears on my cheeks with my fingers. “I left my friend’s number in y-your wife’s phone. Anything you need while you’re here just reach out for him.” I took in a long deep breath. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to stay here. See you around.” 

“W-wait.” He called out but I just pretend I didn’t hear him. I walked straight out and just hide in my car. 

Seunghoon came when I called him. Abandoning everything for a friend is his trait since way back. I arranged the house right next to Seunghoon’s for them to stay. Apparently she didn’t have to stay at the hospital long since alcohol poisoning isn’t dangerous as long as the alcohol is flushed out. 

“You sure about this?” Seunghoon asked. Seunghoon just got back from the hospital bringing him, his wife and Taewoo to the house.

“Yeah.” I slip a finger in between the blind, peering into the window next door, just in time to see him, hugging her, kissing on top of her head. 

“They really look good together.” Seunghoon said with his mouth full, biting into the apple, stolen from my bag of groceries I take it.

“She… she has some secrets.” I sighed, had enough of the sweet picture from the house next door, I shut the blind and threw myself onto the bed.

“For what it’s worth… I think both of them are hiding some secrets.” Seunghoon threw a pillow at me. “Who the hell talks about eggs when it comes to pregnancy? Don’t women use the word carry. ‘I carried you for nine months’ or something.” 

“Yeah… they definitely hiding something. She can’t look more disinterest with people any than that. She’s…” Our conversation was cut short when a knock on the door.

“Hi… Is it okay for us to take a walk by the beach? Eunji wanted to play with the water.” I heard his voice talking to Seunghoon. 

“Of course. You don’t need to ask for permission. Make yourself at home. Want us to babysit the kid?” Seunghoon offered.

“No…” he turned his heel around. “I-is he here?” he suddenly look back and asked.

“Yeah… and your wife is next door. Have fun on the beach. If you want to surf… my surfboard just up front.” Seunghoon pointed towards the beach.

“Ye-yeah. Thanks.” He left with rosy cheeks.

“You don’t have to say that.” I looked over the sliding door and saw three figure walking towards the beach.

“I know.” Seunghoon snatch the empty glass I hold in my hand. “Why are you torturing yourself like this? You don’t have to watch over them. Just leave. Your apartment in Kauai is empty.”

“I don’t have to but I want…” I watched as he wraps his arms around her shoulder. The green monster in me breaks free. I am jealous. I am jealous of how she perfectly fits in his arms. I am jealous of how gentle his hands are around her. I am jealous of how wide is his smile. I am jealous of how she is there beside him. I am jealous of how comfortable she is in his arms. “… I was the one who let that go. All I can do now is watch.” 

“You’re a masochist.” Seunghoon changed shirt into some suit. “My client got busted. I’m leaving. Call me if you need me to pull the trigger.” Seunghoon left.

I stayed there, watching them for hours long. From the sun is above their head till it came down and the darkness took over. Both of them were snuggling comfortable in each other’s arm talking nonstop. At least Taewoo played to his heart contents. By the time they walk back to the house, Taewoo is already fallen asleep in his arms.

Eunji saw me sitting there, she said something to him. He looked up and sees me. I raised my glass at them, deep inside me, I hoped that he’ll walk towards me but instead it’s his wife who is heading straight towards me. I tensed. “Hey…” she said.

I sat up straight. “Hey… how are you doing?” 

“Fine… thanks to you.” She smiled weakly at me.

“Great. That’s great.” I smiled back at her.

“Can I seat here?” she asked. I nodded at her, not forgetting a smile. She stepped into the porch and sat on the lawn chair Seunghoon placed on the deck. “I first met him when he first came California, you know.” 

She suddenly talks about Taehyun I presume. I kept my silence.

“He saved me back then. He saved me again when we met back in Seoul. I know that h was there to look for you… he doesn’t. He’s still trying to hide it, but I know… We’re both fucked up. I don’t feel anything to him… he can’t feel anything to me but we still ended up marrying each other. What I wanted was to help him, to repay him. But when I had the taste of freedom with him, I ended up trapping him... he lets me do anything I want. I travel here and there, I work away from home most of the time. I was… free. Then I feel like he’s leaving me. I used Taewoo as his cage.” Tears rolling down her cheeks. “I thought that I could keep him if we have a kid together. Though I can’t carry Taewoo, I found a surrogate. I want to be free and at the same time I want him to wait for me. I got too greedy.” She dropped her head low.

“You love him… don’t you?” I said it, even though it felt like poison to my tongue.

“I don’t.” she threw her sight to a distance, all the way in the dark, towards the sound of the waves, hitting the sand. “He never stopped loving you, you know. What he feels for you is something pure. It was you who sullied it when you left him.” Eunji take in a deep breath, and release it with a smile. “I’m letting him go. So it’s up to you whether you want to win him back or you’re willing to let someone else finish your job. Either way… good luck.” 

My words are lost in my mouth, my eyes followed Eunji as she sashayed her way into his waiting arms. She whispered into his ear and kissed the corner of his lips lightly. Eunji go in while he just stood there, taken aback to her words.


	16. Something Old

**TAEHYUN**

 

 

“You okay?” I asked Eunji who just came in from talking to him. Eunji took a seat right next to me. I put my hand over her shoulder and pulled her head, resting it on mine.

 

“Yeah… I’m sorry Taehyunie.” Eunji started crying again.

 

“It’s not your fault.” I ruffled her hair gently. Ignoring the vibrating device on the coffee table in front of us, I paid all my attention to her.  

 

“How many times do I have to tell you? It’s all my fault. I knew what I was doing. I knew that…”

 

 

“Shhh…” I cupped her face, wiping the streaming tears off of her cheeks and pressed my lips on her head before pulling her into my arms. “That happened because you thought I would take Taewoo away from you. Taewoo isn’t going anywhere, so as I. it was my fault for making you feel like that.” I rub her back gently, calming her sobbing mess down. “I was just being considerate of your career, didn’t you said you might move to Paris to expand your territory? I just thought you want to concentrate on that rather than minding over Taewoo.”

 

“Even though I don’t carry him myself, I still love him you know. I want him to know me more. Everytime I came to visit, he’s awfully distant. It’s like I’m a stranger. Even Samuel is closer to him than his own mother.” Eunji said between her sniffles.

 

I chuckled, not that I meant for laughing at her it’s just sounded silly to me. “Noona… Taewoo is a growing kid, of course he’s really close to those he sees every single day rather than someone who he rarely sees.”

 

“But he wants your ex than me.” Eunji whined.

 

That really took my words out of my mouth. “Th-that…” I cleared my throat. “If it makes you feel better he’s not anymore.” I smiled bitterly, knowing that Taewoo just did what I ask.

 

“That’s just because he saw you crying for that guy.” Eunji pulled away. “Say… don’t you wanna be back with him? He’s literally begging for you with his eyes every single time he sees you, you know.”

 

 

I sighed. “That is just… out of the question noona. I don’t want anything to do with him.” I looked away.

 

 

“He’s nice. I talked to him a lot at the hospital. He panicked as if I was his wife but when the doctor ask him who I was he said your wife.” Eunji chuckled. “He kept repeating your name.”

 

 

I kept my poker face, though I can feel the corner of my lips twitching, trying to let out a smile. “Enough of that guy. Do you wanna rest now? I can sleep here on the couch. You go and sleep with Taewoo on the bed.”

 

“I’m not done talking!” Eunji pouted.

 

“Fine noona… what do you want to talk about then?” I tucked the loose strands of Eunji’s hair behind her ear, smiling.

 

“I wanna talk about our divorce.” She said.

 

I froze at my spot. “Wa-wait what? I think I heard this wrong. You want what?”

 

“Divorce. I think it’s time I go back to Korea.” Eunji smiled.

 

“What are you talking about noona?” I frowned. The whole day for the past couple of days Eunji and I have been spending every seconds talking about us, about her work, about _my_ work, about Taewoo, about her family, about my family, about Samuel, about her friends and of course about him. Eunji and I talked about everything, every single thing not once the issue about splitting up.

 

“I’m turning 37 this year Taehyunie. All the while I was laid on that hospital bed. I did a lot of thinking. Talking to him helped too.” Eunji nodded towards the house next door.

 

“Talking to him? Don’t you think you should talk to me first about this? This is all too sudden. Weren’t you talking about expanding your foothold in Paris next year? Why?” I stood, walked back and forth trying to calm myself down. Eunji and I did get married for my financial support in exchange of her freedom. Even though Eunji’s parents doesn’t agree much with her marrying a broke unemployed man at the time, they are still a very conservative family. Once we got married, they respected me as her husband making a decision thus allowing her to expand her career in Japan rather than just in Korea. Though they still against it at the time and most probably in doubt of our relationship, Eunji’s proposition on getting a child through IVF and surrogate mother, we managed to keep her family at bay.

 

“Like I said, I’m nearing 40 already Taehyunie. Dad have been very vocal about me working with him and Jinwoo too has been sending me love call for taking over the beauty department.” Eunji held my hand firmly.

 

“That doesn’t mean we should break our marriage. Just move in with us. We can make it work. Unless… unless you have someone else.” Hesitantly I asked her.

 

“You know that I’m incapable of having normal relationships. We worked out because you don’t want anything… sexual. But until when?” I heard Eunji sigh frustratedly.

 

“Then…why? You wanna have sex? Is that it?” I stared at her face.

 

“No! I wanna find love! You have one. I don’t!” Eunji’s voice is slowly rising.

 

“I have? Noona! I love you… Not him… I’m not going to go back to him. No matter what.” I gritted my teeth, controlling m voice to avoid waking up Taewoo.

 

“Of course you love me. I love you too. But we both know what we feel for each other isn’t anything more than brother sister love.” Eunji pulled my hand and guide me to sit with her. “I’m not blind. I can see how he looks at you and how _you_ looks at him. Even if you don’t want to get back with him, maybe you should open up to someone else… like Samuel maybe?”

 

“Did your best friend told you about him asking me a chance? Asking me out?” I rolled my eyes.

 

“Did he?” Eunji chuckled. “He told me he was planning to since he saw how you were moping around for the past few days.” She wrapped her hands around mine and rested her head on my shoulder. “Samuel is a great guy, the guy next door is a great guy. You’re lucky to have them both chasing after you. Give me a chance to meet someone like those two too.”

 

“Not as great as you noona.” I sighed. “Are really sure about this? What about your family? I’m sure they’ll be super glad that a commoner like me is out of the picture, but… divorce? How will they take it?”

 

“I’ll deal with them. I’ll talk to eomoni too.” Eunji’s face looked a tad bit guilty.

 

“Don’t worry about omma. She knows… she knows since forever.” I smiled. I already had a bucket full of nagging the first few months after Taewoo was born.

 

“She knows? Since when? How?” Eunji gasped in shocked.

 

“Since Taewoo six months old. Something about mother instinct.” I patted her head.

 

“No wonder she stopped asking when I’ll quit my job.”Eunji pouted and snuggles on my neck. “I’m sorry for not being a good wife to you.”

 

“Hey…” I hooked my finger under her chin, kissing her nose gently, “I wasn’t a good husband too. And… I’ve told her… about… him.” I sighed.

 

“What did she say about it?” she waited for me to answer.

 

I took my time to ponder, finding the right words that explains what my mom told me. Giving up, I told her the exact words that I heard at that time. “She said, everything must have a reason. Bring him home, let her ask herself.”

 

“She really said that?” Eunji burst out laughing. Shen threw her head back, “Eomoni really know how to handle you.”

 

“Noona! Stop laughing, you’ll wake Taewoo up.” I elbowed her side.

 

“Oh my god. She really did say that? What did you tell her anyway? You didn’t… you didn’t tell her about he left you?” the tone of her voice changed.

 

“I did. But when I told her who it was, she said she could understand. Me and him won’t last back then like she and my father.” I spoke softly. I could still remember how bitter her smile was at that time. Too many unpleasant memories about my parents’ separation.

 

“It’s true what they said. As we grow older, we grow wiser. Still think that he’s unforgivable?”

 

“It’s not that I didn’t forgive him noona, it’s just that… I didn’t forget. The hugs, the kisses, the smile, the laughter, the happiness, the tears, the longing, the waiting, the heartbreak. I remembered every single one of them.” I grabbed her hand and bring it to my lips. “Before you… before Taewoo… I would live day by day repeating it on my mind, thinking about how would I react when I see him, what would I say, what I would do.” I smiled, “Now… I just want to forget. I just want to live my life with Taewoo, with you and my family quietly. You said that I have his love and that he has my love. But he’s a thorn in my eyes.”  I smiled bitterly. “It’s late noona. You should have a rest.” I kissed her forehead. “I’ll join in later. I need to take a breather outside.”

 

Eunji nodded. She kissed my cheek lightly.

 

I watched her disappearing into the room I’ve tuck Taewoo in. Waited until I couldn’t hear her anymore before making my way out to the porch facing the beach. In between the darkness, my eyes caught the sight of a figure walking by the waters. The figure is way too familiar for me to ignore. As if he could feel me watching, he turned to me. My heart beats faster with each steps he took towards me.

 

“Can’t sleep?” he said, a little guarded.

 

“Just about to.” I looked away from him.

 

“I see that you had a long talk with your wife today… by the beach?” he rubs the back of his neck, awkward.

 

“Yeah… we talked about something old. Things that should be forgotten. Things that I should move on from.” I stared at his changing face. Guilt starts to show on his face. I straighten my back, “Mino ssi. Thank you for helping my wife and I would appreciate it if you don’t repeat what you did yesterday. I have a wife… a family. I hope you would show some respect them and to me. Good night” I pushed the tingling feeling that I couldn’t control away, trying my best to erase his face.

 

 

 


	17. Something Precious

**MINO**

 

A couple of months went by after Hawaii. After his warning that night, I distanced myself from the family. A couple of days later, he flew back to Korea bringing his wife and son. Seunghoon went to drop them off while I just hid behind the wall and just peeked at him from afar. I managed to have a word with his wife the day before he went back, I explained to her what happened in the park. On how I forced a kiss on him, on the lips, deep. She said it’s inevitable considering how irresistible he is. Which is true.

 

I also confronted her about the picture her brother gave to me back on that cruise. I apologized for having thoughts on exposing her, revealing the said photo to him. Surprisingly, scary, she admitted that she was the one who asked her brother to give that picture to me. A test she said, a test to see how far I’m willing to go for him, how low would I stoop, what morals would I throw away for that misinterpreted photo. I can only laughed at her words.

 

The headlines of the entertainment section has been featuring him for the past couple of weeks. Stories of how a famed international supermodel retires gracefully in the arms of her prince charming was the main topic for the first week then turned into ugly details of her private life when she announced that she is separating peacefully with her prince charming. The tabloid featured a blurry picture of him but I know who it is. The news of their separation apparently drove her away from Seoul and disappears. Everyone was pointing their fingers on her claiming that she cheated and dumped him for a richer man, but I knew exactly the real story.

 

Eunji right now is in the comfort of my condo in Luau with Taewoo. And somehow grew a lot close to Seunghoon there. Despite the reports of her ugly divorce scenes, it is actually very boring. Eunji told me that she wanted to find a love for herself and is done making him chained to her. Eunji and he signed the papers together in an adult manner. They even hugged and walked out of the office hand in hand. She personally came to me and told the stories herself prior to her flight out. Lucky for me, Taewoo seems perfectly fine with me now. And with her words, Eunji assured me that she’s rooting for his happiness.

 

The fact that this is all of her encouragement, I’m going to make sure that I write over those stupid mistakes I made in the past and redeem myself. I stared on the folder I just got, the listing for the exhibition. Jiyong came barging in with the same thing.

 

“What’s this?” Jiyong flail the folder around.

 

“That kind of contract is more of you expertise than mine, hyung.” I stood and poured a drink for the both of us.

 

Jiyong sat on the couch, opening the button of his suit and lean forward for the drink. Taking a swing and emptied it out in one gulp, the glass is slammed on the coffee table that’s separating us. “I’ve known you for more than eight years now. How come I never knew about this? Is this what you’ve been doing in that little cabin of yours?”

 

“Hyung…you haven’t been to my cabin so you’re not entitled to judge on whether it’s big or small.” I shook my head. “This… this is a 15 years of work hyung. Everything there is my treasure.”

 

“15 years? Where have you been hiding all of these then? I’ve never seen any of it.” Jiyong nudged the folder with his finger.

 

“The history isn’t your business hyung… It’s the details that you need to go through.” I tapped the folder.

 

“I still need to know the history… to make sure you didn’t steal it from anywhere.” Jiyong buttoned his suit back and leans back, crossing his legs.

 

“Well… I didn’t. You have my word. I believe Ms. Park already contacted you about the dates?” I too crossed my legs.

 

“She did. In fact she’s coming over. We’re going to go through the contract over lunch.” Jiyong smirked.

 

“I think she has… other plans.” I nodded towards the woman marching into my office with a huge smile.

 

“Mino ya!!!” Ms. Park pecked a small kiss on my cheek. “Jiyong.” She turned to Jiyong and pulled him into tight bear hug.

 

“Noona!!! I said lunch! There’s two more hours before lunch!” Jiyong never looked so flustered before. I can only chuckle.

 

“Pabo ya… lunch is for eating. You can’t talk business while eating. It’s disrespectful to the food.” Bom pulled both of Jiyong’s cheeks and pushed him down back on the couch. “Mino ya… Is there anything else you want to add to the papers?”

 

“Nothing noona. I’m just waiting for my lawyer to give it a go and I’ll sign it.” I looked at Jiyong who is obviously dumbfounded by being handled.

 

“Well what are you waiting for Mr. Lawyer? The clock is ticking. Tick tock tick tock.” Bom stared at Jiyong for a second. “Hurry.” Bom grabbed on Jiyong’s collar.

 

“Tell me you’ve gone through the contract before you came barging in here?” I scoffed, it’s a little funny seeing the almighty Jiyong getting man handled by someone.

 

“I did… I did. It’s good…” Jiyong puts both of his hands up.

 

“Great!” Bom straighten back Jiyong’s crumpled shirt. “I knew I can always count on you. Now… Let’s go eat.”

 

“It’s two hours away from lunch.” Jiyong intervene again, straightening his tie this time.

 

“Haven’t you heard of brunch?” Bom hooks her arms around mine and pull me out. Just like the storm she came, she goes back out. Dragging me along of course.

 

“Thank you noona for doing this.” I waved at Jiyong who is still stunned on the couch in my office as the elevator door closes.

 

“I’m the one who should thank you for giving those pieces for me. There must be a reason right? After years… why now?” Bom waited for my answer.

 

The trip down in the elevator suddenly feels long. I smiled. “An angel told me to wake up. It’s time I strike back she said. While the iron is still hot.”

 

“Striking what hot iron?” Bom leans her head on my shoulder.

 

“Ocean’s.” I mumbled softly.

 

“Does anyone ever told you that you’re weird?” Bom slapped my arms softly. “I don’t understand a word you’re saying right now.” She rolled her eyes.

 

I laughed. “I’m weird? If I’m weird then you’re an extra-terrestrial being.”

 

“Yah! You don’t get to call me alien. Only my honey can call me that.” She pinched me hard on my side.

 

“It hurts… it hurts…” I screeched in pain.

 

“You better tell me the real reason now.” Bom tightens the grip on my flesh.

 

“I’ll tell you… I’ll tell you.” I sighed in relief when she finally let me go. “It’s a love letter.” I said while rubbing the spot Bom pinches.

 

“Love letter? Now that you mentioned it. A lot of the photos you took… there’s only a handful pictures of someone’s back. Is that the person who you’ll address this ‘love letter’ of yours to?” Bom made a quote in the air with her fingers.

 

“Those photos are something precious. I’m hoping that he could see the love I hold for him.” I held back the tears of regret I feel trying to crawl out.

 

Bom slapped my back hard. “Eyyy… Song Mino!!! I never knew you are a hopeless romantic.” She laughed loudly with hitting me over and over again.

 

“Only for him… Noo…noona. Stop… stop.” I grabbed on hold of her hand when the elevator comes to halt and people who are standing by the opened door stared at us weirdly.

 

Bom whispered ‘Sorry’ and chortled shyly through the crowd. “So… about the date.”  She said when we are nearing my car. “Clear up your schedule this weekend. We have an exhibition to attend.”

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Something Good

**TAEHYUN**

 

 

“Give appa a kiss.” I said to Taewoo.

 

Taewoo pouted his lips and circled his short hands around my neck. Pressing the pouty lips on my cheek, slathering it with saliva.  “Appa not go?” the little boy whined.

 

“No… appa have work. Taewoo is a big boy. Taewoo needs to take care of omma for appa. Make sure omma is happy okay?” I pat my son’s head.

 

“But how long?” Taewoo whined again, staring at me with his puppy eyes.

 

“You see this?” I grab his fingers and take out six of them. “Everytime it gets dark and morning again you put one finger down. Once all this is down, appa will be there to take you home. You get it.”

 

Taewoo stared at his fingers and nodded.

 

“Clever boy.” I ruffled Taewoo’s hair and stood to talk to Eunji. “Take care noona. You can call me anytime. Keep in touch.”

 

“Yeah… I’ll be reachable 24/7. If you can’t contact me, you know who to call.” Eunji flipped her new short hair with a smirk.

 

“Out of all your rich and famous friends, you had to choose that one to ask for a favour?” I stepped forward and pulled Eunji into my arms.

 

“Out of all my rich and famous friends, he’s the only one owns an apartment in Hawaii.” Eunji grinned and snuggled into my arms.

 

“Yeah… and we all know what is there in Hawaii… _who_ lives there.” I teased her earning myself a light slap on my chest.

 

“Shut up!” Eunji blushed. She pressed her lips on my cheek and whispered, be happy. I smiled back at her and nodded. “Come on Taewoo. Say bye bye to appa and samchoon.” Taewoo waved at us.

 

“Who lives in Hawaii?” Samuel asked when both Eunji and Taewoo are no longer seen from our standing point.

 

“A friend.” I smiled. Eunji somehow made a connection with his friend. The one that offered a house for us to live in back in Hawaii. Though Eunji denied having anything to the guy, it seems that they’ve been texting and skyping almost every day. Even Taewoo now call the guy Hoonie samchoon.

 

“So… now that all of those settled. Can we go back to our original plan?” Samuel grinned.

 

“Original plan?” I frowned.

 

Samuel starts the car but turned to face me. “The chance you promised me before the whole Eunji chaos.”

 

“Eunji chaos?” I slapped Samuel’s chest with the back of my hand. “Hyung… as long as she’s happy.”

 

“Yeah… you’re right. How about we start with an ice cream date?”  Samuel put the drive gear on and drive off.

 

I chuckled. “What ice cream date hyung?”

 

“I asked my students on things to do on a date. They said… ice cream in a park is a must.” Samuel winked.

 

“Hyung… don’t tell me you take dating advice from 19 years old.” I shook my head in disbeliefs.

 

“I don’t know how the dating world works anymore. I’ve been waiting for you to say yes years already.” Samuel grinned a boyish smile.

 

“You dated people all around. What do you mean you don’t know how the dating worlds look? You don’t lose dating skills by time.” Despite what Samuel said about waiting for me to say yes, I know that Samuel never stopped going out with other people. There was the nurse last year, they lasted for three months before Samuel call it quits. There was the banker after that. Lasted for a couple of weeks then Samuel got himself dumped for refusing to move forward. Then there was that beauty shop assistant that went on for a few months before Samuel got bored. Early this year Samuel dated that barista from the coffee shop down the hill. Let’s just say neither Samuel nor me are ever allowed to go there ever again,

 

“They’re not you.” Samuel wiggled both eyebrows at me.

 

I rolled my eyes at the absurdity. “You and your sweet words. They don’t have any effects on my hyung. Try using it to someone else. I heard the new FA (financial advisor) is aiming for you.”

 

“Minji? Nahhh… She’s too young. You on the other hand is perfect. Marry me?” Samuel asked as the car came to a stop.

 

I pretended I didn’t hear the question and step out of the car. “Where are you taking me?”

 

“They said there’s a gelato truck near the square.” Samuel went around the car hurriedly and grab on my hands. “The gelato there is extremely delicious. Made out of fresh organic fruits.”

 

I stared at our linked hands. “Gelato huh… it’s nearly the end of autumn, snow will come down in a few weeks and you’re bringing me to a gelato stall? Hopefully the fruits are as fresh as they claim to be.”

 

“They are. Every day the owner would switch up the flavours, so each time will be a surprise.” Samuel looked behind to me and grinned. “A little cold isn’t going to stop us from enjoying this cold dessert right?”

 

“You ought to bring up this treat again when it’s summer hyung. It’s… suitable?” I giggled.

 

“Laugh all you want but the gelato is really good.” Samuel snarled.

 

Still chortling, I said. “Even if it’s good hyung… it’s cold. The weather is cold.” Despite my whining, I still let my hand being pulled.

 

Samuel stopped and sigh. “Maybe you’re right. Taking dating advice from a twenty year old might not be wise after all.”

 

I chuckled, wrapping my gloved hands around his arms, I pulled him back to motion. “Come on now. We’re already here anyway.”

 

Samuel smiled.

 

Gradually I let go of Samuel’s arms and just walked side by side with him. “Why are you so persistent hyung? What’s so good about me?” I hid my hands in my pockets when I see how Samuel is calculating to grab on hold of it again.

 

Samuel too stuffed his hands into his jackets. “Let’s leave the serious talk for later and just enjoy the treat okay?”

 

Without waiting for my response, Samuel walked away. Not too fast till I was left behind, slow enough for me to catch up.

 

The truck apparently have tropical fruits day. Samuel bought dragon fruit gelato for me and banana chocolate chip for him. We sat on the bench by the fountain, enjoying the quiet time with no words spoken between us. Just us observing the people around us. Samuel didn’t lie. The gelato really is good. I finish up the cold treats to the brim and waited for Samuel to finish up his. My eyes followed each of the couple passing by.

 

“Eunji never told me exactly why you two separate.” Samuel said. Taking the paper wrap from my hand, throwing them into the bin near him.

 

“Nothing… really… she wants real love. Something I can’t give her.” I smiled. “Are we allowed to talk about serious stuff now?”

 

“Not yet.” Samuel shook his head, grinning like a boy. “We have another stop today.”

 

“Another stop?” I frowned.

 

“I’m not going to let you turn me down without experiencing the full blown of dating me.” Samuel stood and points at himself arrogantly complete with a smirk.

 

My jaw dropped. “You can’t accuse of me about made up my mind in turning you down. You never know.”  

 

Samuel rolled his eyes. “I know you enough to know with the question of ‘why me’ is the beginning of the sentence of you turning me down. So no! You are going to date me, going out with me, for at least two weeks before you start considering about saying no!”

 

“Eyyy hyung…” I started with words to refuse but my mind changed. Playfully I said, “Do you think 14 days are enough to win _me_?”

 

“Oooh… 14 days are more than enough. Now that Eunji is out of the way and Taewoo won’t be back till next week. I’m going to make you fall head over heels on me.” Samuel scoffed.

 

“Oh really? I accept your challenge then. This will be something good.” I laughed.

 

“Laughed all you want. We’ll see.” Samuel grab on hold of my hand and brought it to his lips.

 

I threw head back and burst out in laughter. “So… about this stop you were saying?”

 

“Batting cage here we come” Samuel pulled my hands up for me to stand and wrap it around his arms.

 

“Batting cage?”

 

“It’s dating 101… Samuel style.” Samuel winked. We started walking back to the car we parked earlier with our hands linked. “Wait” Samuel paused and took out his phone. “Would you look at that?” Samuel suddenly said.

 

“Why? What’s wrong?” I took a peek onto the phone Samuel is holding.

 

“How does hybrid art sounds like this weekend? It’s a date?” Samuel waved the phone.

 

All I could see is a text message. “It’s a date then.” I said with a smile.


	19. Something Fascinating

**MINO**

 

“Mino ya…” Bom came running down the stairs with her stilettos. “What are you doing here on a Saturday evening? Are you checking up on me? Yahhhh! Don’t you trust me?”

 

“Eyyy noona. I’m just visiting. Is there…” I looked around the gallery, one by one of my hard work are slowly being carefully handled by the workers. “…anything I could do to help?”

 

“Relax… everything is being taken care of. Just sit back and be ready to be in the spotlight.” Bom wrapped her arms around mine, pulling me to walk with her.

 

“About that…” Bom stopped her track. “…I don’t need the spotlight noona. I just need my story to be told. The audience doesn’t need to know who is telling.”

 

Bom squint her eyes. “What? Why?”

 

“I am known enough as a corporate lawyer noona. I don’t need another thing to put up in my resume. Besides…” I smiled a bitter smile. “… as I mentioned it before, it’s a love letter. A letter is private, a secret between the one who wrote and the one who meant to read it.”

 

“Yah!!!” Bom shouts. “What are you talking about?” She slaps my shoulder roughly chuckling awkwardly.

 

“I don’t wanna reveal my name nor myself for the exhibition.” I leave out any hesitation.

 

“Say what?! Why? Do you know how hard it is for me to organize this and you want to keep it a secret? Do you know how many turnouts for anonymous artist? I’m not in for failure Mino.” Bom flips her hair and cross her arms.

 

“I don’t really care about it noona. I’ll cover the losses.” I pleaded guilty.

 

Bom didn’t say anything but stare at me, dumbfounded. Clearly upset with my declaration. Bom stops me from talking when I opened my mouth to apologize. Realizing that I am wrong for saying that carelessly. Suddenly she just turned around and storm out of the room.

 

I followed her hastily, keeping my pace as fast as her. A few times I tried grabbing her arms to stop her from walking farther away but those few times too she slips. “Noona… just listen to me properly first.”

 

“What’s there to listen? You’ve made up your mind aren’t you?” Bom refused to even turn around and meet my eyes. She stomps her way out moving towards another exhibition held in the same gallery. All eyes are on us.

 

“Noona. Stop. Listen to me.” Finally I managed to stop her track by pulling her elbow.

 

“Listen to what? I want to everyone to know but you want to keep it a secret. Tell me what I’m missing?” Bom shouts, making everyone stopped and stare at us.

 

“Shh… Noona. Calm down. Let’s talk somewhere else first.” I grabbed her arms with a mind of pulling her out of public but Bom flail her arms around.

 

“Don’t you shush me. What’s there to talk about? I want to tell everyone but you don’t. Why? Is it your family? Your friends? Or your work? I get it. Art isn’t something you can be proud of!” Bom continually screaming on top of her lungs as if she’s losing her mind.

 

“That’s enough!” This time I raised my voice. “We’re going to talk about it… Privately!” That managed to take away Bom’s voice… one problem though, she then started to cry. I tried pulling her gently to the side but with her arms violently pushing me away, I had to drag her in forcibly. I looked around, nodding my head, apologizing for the ruckus we made. And then I saw him. I met his eyes. As I was entering the room where I came from, I saw him standing there holding his coat and the brochure to the exhibition next door. My instinct says go and explain to him, my feet stopped. Then I saw the neck tattoo guy approaching him, putting a hand on the small back of his, the guy leads him in with a huge smile on his face. Disappointedly, I head straight back to the gallery we came from.

 

“Oh no… you made Bommie cry.” Bom’s assistant came running towards us and took Bom off of my hands.

 

“She was making a ruckus up front. I couldn’t do anything else to stop her.” I rake my hair with my fingers.

 

“What did you say to her? In this early on pregnancy she’s a little sensitive and emotionally unstable.” The assistant kept nagging at me, all I could do is rolled my eyes.

 

“I only said that I don’t want my name put up for these arts.” I sighed. Taking a seat at the chair, I gulped down the water Bom’s assistant placed down for me and Bom.

 

“It’s not a big deal. We’ll just create a persona for the media play and comes out with nickname or something.” Bom’s assistant speaks as she continues to rub Bom’s back.

 

My jaw literally dropped, “What?”

 

“Yeah. We do it all the time. Some of the artist were willing to pay a fortune to have a glamorous names alongside grandeurs publicity.” Bom’s assistant took a seat next to Bom, handing over a box of tissue, a mirror and small stuffed bag.

 

“Tell me why she… was like that earlier then? If you said it should be no problem and has been done before. Enlighten me why is she like this?” I can slowly feel my blood boiling.

 

“It’s because I planned an extravagant introduction for you already.” Bom said while bawling.

 

“Noona…” sighing heavily, I took a seat next to Bom. “You really need to understand, noona. If you put my name up there, the person I want badly to come won’t even spare a glance. I… I did something terrible to him in the past. And… this… this is just a speck of dust for him inside a room full of offence. I broke his trust… his heart. I wanna win him back. That’s the only reason I ask for this favour noona. I’m… I’m sorry that if this is a failure it’ll hurt your reputation. I wasn’t thinking about the consequences… I just want to display all of that for that person… just that one person.”

 

Bom wiped the smudged mascara with the back of her hands. “That’s so sad… Why didn’t you say so?!!!” Instead of stopping, Bom bawled louder than before.

 

I panicked for a few seconds but Bom’s assistant calmly rolled her eyes and shoo me out. “Wait for me out there. Before you tire her out from crying, you better take a breather outside. I’ll see you in a bit.”

 

I shook my head and make my way to the gallery outside. All other workers apparently had left, most of the lights were switched off leaving only a few to illuminate the way out. I moved towards the so called arts I made for him. He always loved talking about this type of art, an art where you could feel he said. Back in college, I stumbled upon a short course for this art. Without thinking I just enrolled in it. Took me few years to make the lines as fine as these. From then on I kept making one by one, bigger each time, it was a way for me to remember him.

 

I do admit, I turned to parties and alcohols to forget about sorrow, but the ocean and this… is a way for me to remember him. I know it sounds so contradicting between forgetting and remembering but that was how I had lived for years in order for me keep my head in the goal. A loud thud drew my attention away from some of the plates the workers had hung.

 

A guy just came in the front door, seconds later, Bom and her assistant came down the stairs. The man wrapped an arm around Bom’s tiny shoulder and took away a black and gold clutch from Bom’s assistant. Bom and the man leave shortly after a decent goodbye between them and Bom’s assistant.

 

“Who is that?” I said when the assistant joined me in the dimly lit hall.

 

“Boss’s husband. I called him when she started making the ruckus earlier.” The assistant said. I just nodded in understanding. I threw back my gaze on my artwork result. “You said something about a personal love letter for someone… why do something long-winded like this? You could’ve just throw a private viewing party for that person alone?”

 

“If that works… I wouldn’t be standing here alone staring in front of my gifts to him. Instead I’ll be standing here with that person in my arms.” I smiled bitterly.

 

“Boss told me how hopeless romantic you are but I couldn’t imagine this far. Have you tried doing it in some other way?” I can see from the corner of my eyes that the assistant is staring at me, waiting for me to fill in the gap inside her curiosity.

 

“I’ve written hundreds of letters to that person, I handed over but there’s a small doubt in the back of my mind, fearing that none of those letters were read.  

 

  
“What makes you so sure that these… all of these will come to that person’s attention?” The assistant sports a frown.

 

“Because these are something fascinating in his eyes.” I stared blankly at the plates. My mind drift back to his face earlier. How dis-attached he looked like, how indifferent. I’m scared that he had finally moved on… already starting to forget about me. Feared that he choose the benefit of erasing my entire existence in his, over reliving the pain I’ve put him through.

 

“Oh sh… Excuse me but the hybrid art next door is launching right now. If there’s anything you want to discuss, please refer them to me rather than the boss. She’s very unstable every time she’s pregnant. Especially in this early on.” The assistant flick over her soft sleeve and got a glimpsed of the time on her wristwatch. “I’m really late… I need to close all of this up first. Here…” she gave me her business card. “…anything regarding your showcase, don’t hesitate. Just call me anytime.” Without being rude the assistant led me out, switch off all lamps and lock the front door.

 

Thinking of him, standing in the crowd just a few feet away from me, separated by a thick wall, I changed my mind. Instead of heading back… my feet takes me in the gallery where he is.

 

 

 

 

 


	20. Something Unsettling

**TAEHYUN**

 

 

 

“This is amazing right?” Samuel’s excited voice shook me out of my train of thoughts.

 

“Ye-yeah.” I faked a smile.

 

“Are you tired?” Samuel frowned. “You’ve been spacing out since we came in.”

 

“Maybe I am…” I sighed, feeling more than guilt slowly creeping in.

 

“They have the refreshment bar down the hall there. Why don’t we sit there first?” Samuel led me through the crowd to a sitting area at the end of the hall. “I’ll go get us some drink.” Samuel looked concerned over me.

 

I nodded. My eyes followed Samuel’s back slowly consumed by the crowd. Unknowingly, a sigh of relief escaped my lips.

 

“Sorry!” a woman in a business suit said a little too loud perking up my ears. “My boss had another breakdown today… like again.”

 

“Yeah. Saw the scenes earlier. What’s her deal? Isn’t she always so perky and cheery?” another woman who is sitting right in front of her said.

 

“Pregnancy. I don’t know the whole deal why she’s acting up today but I’m hundred percent sure it’s her whole emotionally unstable on the early stage of pregnancy.” The business suit woman said proudly.

 

The woman in front of her laughed, before both of them stood and left to get themselves some drinks.

 

“Here.” Samuel came back minutes later with two bottle of icy cold beer in his hands. “Sorry it took a while. You think that when you come to an art exhibition launching party people would be more interested at the arts displayed rather than the drinks.”

 

I chuckled, grabbing one of the beer from Samuel. “Sorry hyung… and thanks.” I gulped half of the beer down, trying to get my mind off the scenes that’s been playing on my mind.

 

“Woah… woah… slow down. Are you that thirsty? Maybe I should get you plain water instead.” Samuel stood again but I grabbed his hand to stop him.

 

“I’m fine hyung. Just need a little waking up.” I smiled.

 

Samuel sighed and sat back at his seat. “The arts… not your cup of tea huh?”

 

“What? Nonono… the arts are… very modern… contemporary. I like it. It’s just there’s something on my mind.” I tried my hardest to show my interest.

 

“Nah… you don’t have to be polite. You don’t like it at all don’t you? I know you… you love arts… you’re crazy about arts. Even if you have something on your mind, when it comes to arts, you won’t be like this. Besides… you don’t even like sculptures. This hybrid types of art isn’t right up in you lane as well I guess.” Samuel sighed.

 

“Not true hyung. I love your sculptures… any other sculptures… just not these. I mean. Art is freedom. People are free to do what they’re passionate about… it’s just that… I just don’t get these. I’m sorry hyung. But I like that… digital… under the microscope bacteria thing?” I laughed awkwardly.

 

Samuel smirked. “This is another disaster huh? Why is nothing is right when it comes to you?”

 

I shook my head with a silent chortle. After that cold treats in the middle of autumn, Samuel took me to the batting cage, unfortunately it we were late that day. It was closed and apparently will be closed for maintenance for a long period of time. Then Samuel took me to the French restaurant in Cheondamdong. It wasn’t our luck too since the kitchen caught on fire and was closed for the entire day. Samuel took me to the movie the next day… of course you could guess what happened. We ended up renting a movie instead but we had to call for Donghyun to help set up the projector. Instead of a two person date it became a gathering of a group of people since Donghyun brought his friends along. Nothing is according to plan.

 

“Come on… let’s just get this over with.” Samuel extend his hand.

 

“You go on ahead… lemme finish this first.” I dangle the half empty beer bottle in my hand.

 

“I’ll…” Samuel looked like he wanted to stay but I stopped him.

 

“No… You should go… I’ll catch up soon.” I smiled.

 

“How do you feel about etching art? My friend told me the Emerald Gallery next door will hold an etching art exhibition around next week. I’ll make up to you about all this.”  Samuel held both of my hands.

 

I smiled and patted his hands. “It’s fine hyung. You don’t have to do anything to make up for anything. And… did you forget I have to go to Hawaii tomorrow? I don’t even have a plan when I’ll come back… so I don’t know if I can make it back by the time for the exhibition. Let’s take all of this week as a sign that we better off as friends than lovers?” I stood. “You know what hyung… you go and enjoy this. I’m just gonna head back. Turn in early for the night, get ready for my flight tomorrow.” I wrapped my arms around Samuel. “Thank you hyung. We’re just not meant to be. Friends?”

 

“Friends.” Samuel pressed his lips on my cheeks and slowly backs away into the crowd, leaving me behind with my half full beer in hand.

 

I let my eyes followed Samuel’s back before letting it roam around the room. Then I saw him… there he is. Standing alone, right across the room, leaning on the wall through the crowd staring straight at me. He nodded curtly at me.

 

For which I pretended not to notice. The scenes I saw earlier suddenly played back in my mind. I emptied the beer bottle and just hastily leaving the spot he saw me standing. For some reason I can hear the woman’s voice screaming in my ears. I felt deceived. He was begging me for months since we first saw each other. Suddenly I saw him arguing with a pregnant woman about some secrecy. Putting two and two together… I felt deceived.

 

I fasten my pace throughout the sea of people. Ignoring my name called by a familiar voice.

 

“Taehyun stop!” The voice is slowly catching up.

 

“Excuse me. Coming through.” I pushed my way out of the rooms as if I’m chased by a ghost I didn’t look back. I didn’t stop I didn’t even paused. I was out of the crowded gallery just minutes later. It was like the scene of Cinderella fleeing the ball at the strike at twelve minus the one half of a pair of shoes left by the stairs. I laughed at myself on how silly the situation is once I have safely driving away in a cab. Though it did felt good seeing his frantic face chasing me. “I really shouldn’t do that to someone else’s.” I said under my huffing breath.

 

“Some trouble there?” the driver asked.

 

“No… nothing.” I smiled. The rest of the ride is peaceful. I texted Samuel saying I’ve safely arrived home the second I’m inside. The home is empty, quiet and dark. A suitcase I’ve prepared the day before is sitting alone beside the cabinet by the door where I see Taewoo’s toy laying lifelessly without its owner. I missed my son. Taewoo’s voice is always filling up the room. His giggle and his laughter, his gibberish talk and his ear piercing squeal. I sighed, hopefully Eunji would change her mind about taking Taewoo. Shaking away the bad thoughts, I choose to leave the decision onto Eunji, there isn’t anything I could do now.

 

I’m already halfway up the stairs when the doorbell rings. I stopped.

 

“Taehyun? Are you in there?” I heard his muffled voice through the walls. “If you’re in, answer me. Look… I don’t want you to misunderstand the situation or something.” He knocked on my front door repeatedly. Loud enough to wake one of my neighbours. Lights from the house next to mine suddenly switched on.

 

I sighed, I have had enough hearing those housewives around me, gossiping about my recent divorce. I myself am amazed on how quick they got the wind of it. Half of my colleague are still in the dark about my marriage but these madams here already have the full scoop. Opening the door and pulling him inside roughly, I made sure that my nosy neighbour didn’t catch the sight of him. “You’re disturbing the neighbours.”  I whispered still peering outside.

 

“Oh great… you’re in.” he grinned like a kid and my heart flutters. Damn you heart, I cursed at myself.

 

“O-of course I’m in… it’s in the middle of the night and this is my house. What do you want?” I shoved him away when I realized he was too close. “Why are you here?”

 

“I wanna explain myself.” He said.

 

I rolled my eyes. “None of your business is my concerns… now, please leave.” I turned his body facing the door and pushed him out but he didn’t budge.

 

“Of course it is your concern… I don’t want you to misinterpret the situation earlier.” He turned around and face me again. “We both know how quick you are jumping into conclusions.”

 

“I.am.not!” I huffed out, frustrated at the failure to kick him out. “Since when are we on talking terms again? Don’t you have a pregnant girlfriend you have to get back to? I have an early flight tomorrow morning. I really don’t need this.” I folded my arms on my chest, tapping my foot, waiting for him to get out on his own.

 

“See… I knew you would misunderstands. Bommie noona isn’t my girlfriend. She’s a married woman with a five year old son and another baby on the way. For the record, both are not mine. And what do you mean we’re not on talking terms? The last time I saw you we were talking finely with each other. Taehyunie… don’t go jumping into conclusion like this. It’s very unhealthy you know” he dared to tap his finger on my nose.

 

I slapped his finger away. I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off.

 

“Oh wait! Correct that. The last time we talked, you warned me about respecting your marriage and your wife which from what I know now… is no longer valid.” He stepped closer.

 

I took a step back, still glaring at him. A part of me is nervous as he looms over me but a part of me felt relief to the news I just got. I looked up, meeting his eyes, his longing eyes then it hits me that he is bigger now, just a bit taller than me but still bigger. He always had a broad shoulder back in the days but he was skinnier too back then. I gulped down to what it felt like a rock stuck in my throat. “So what if it did?” I can feel my cheeks getting warm, luckily I’m smart enough to let the house sits in the dark right now.

 

“Are you with him now? The neck tattoo guy.” He gestured behind his neck, the place where Samuel had a tattoo done.

 

I slapped his waiving hand and poke his chest. “What do you care? It’s no-none of your business.” A huge mistake on my end since now I’ve felt how firm he is, my face flushed even deeper.

 

He grabbed on hold of my forefinger. “Taehyun-ah.” He said softly, taking another step closer, he suddenly reach out and carefully touch my face with the back of his hands. I can feel his hands trembling. “Can’t it be me?”

 

The words struck me. I looked away.

 

He gently hook his finger under my chin. “Why can’t it be me?” he stared straight into my eyes, longingly. He rested his forehead against mine.

 

As much as I wanted him back, the pain I felt is greater. “I’ve told you. I can’t forget.” I closed my eyes and the tears rolled down my cheeks.

 

“You don’t have to. Don’t forget how I’ve treated you. Remember the pain so that I… I can prove it to you by being better. Please. Give me a chance. I’ll show you how high you are in my eyes. How I’ll treasure you.” He cupped my face and pressed his lips against mine.

 

My lips quivers, subconsciously I tried to catch on his lips. It took me a split seconds to remember. “I-I can’t…” I forcefully pushed him out. “Get out… get out…” This time he allowed himself to be pushed.

 

“Taehyun… please.” He plead. I slammed the door right up his nose. “Taehyun!” he banged on the door.

 

Ignoring his plea, I ran upstairs. Rolled up under the blanket. The fact that I got upset with me misunderstanding the argument he had earlier and the fact that I almost gave in to him just now is something unsettling.

 

 

 

 


	21. Something In The Past

**MINO**

 

 

_“Serves them right.” I heard a spiteful voice disturbing my peaceful sleep. I took in the noise around me. With an oldies song in the background, I can hear a few familiar voices, distant though. I decide to ignore whatever the commotion is, I closed my eyes again. Pretending to have no business with the party downstairs. Even though it was meant to be my party, it still is, celebrating my birthday along with the ending of the current term as well as the welcoming of the new students. I shift my weight from my right to my left. Burying all the racket and just enjoying my solitude on the roof of their dorm._

_I was slowly drifting back to my dream when a gasp woke him up again. It sounded so near_

_“Ouch.” The voice gasped. “Shit!” the voice cursed. “First day in the dorm I’ve torn a decent shirt. Ughh… why did I even come here.”_

_I frowned, raising my torso I leaned on both of my elbow as support. A figure wearing a white shirt is sitting on the edge of the gutter just an arm’s reach away from me. I looked down at my shirt I remembered that I wore all black tonight, no wonder the boy in front of me doesn’t realize there’s a whole person lying here. I held out my hand carefully before grabbing his elbow. “What are you doing here?” I said at the same time._

_I knew he would be too surprised and possibly slipped from this high spot, I managed to hold him tight. The boy turned to face me, with both of his eyes widen, shocked. As impulse, I pulled him towards me. The boy turned totally white, even at this distance, I can hear his hearts beating so fast._

_“How did you get up here?” I asked, enjoying the fact that the boy is literally lying on top of me, still stunned, still staring. I smiled, being just a breath away, I finally can make up the boy’s face. I tucked the strayed strands of hair on the boy’s face on the back of his ear. “You’re lucky you didn’t fall of this four storey dorm.”_

_The boy didn’t move, he just straight up stared at me. Slowly blinking, as if wondering what to say._

_“How did you get up here? You’re one of the new kids isn’t it? Students aren’t allowed up here. It can be dangerous here you know.” I continued talking even though the boy clearly looked hesitant, annoyed. “The teacher…” I said with the intent of teasing him but something ticked him off. Suddenly the boy pushed me away, stood and just climbed back down not without sparing a glare. He left me confused._

I smiled at the sweet memory embed in my mind. I took a sip of the golden liquid. It took me a few second to gulp it down, letting me savour the taste, leaving it lingers in my mouth. I sighed. If only I could go back to that time again. There’s a side of me that would relive it over and over again but there’s also a side of me that wanted to go back and change everything.

 

_“Sunbae. We’ve locked the storage but the coach asked us to remind you to lock the library.” Two of the juniors in my basketball club handed me a bunch of keys. I nod in agree at them. The school is basically empty. After the welcoming/birthday party, all the seniors were allowed to go home. The freshmen who had to stay for the orientation fortnight also has been dismissed two days ago. All that’s left are the students that are active in the sports club. Training camp and everything. Even though, the teachers still kept the infirmary and the library opened for the entire day._

_I climbed the stairs that led to the library. We take turns in locking every room but I insisted to help locking the library. Why? It’s because the roof boy is there. I don’t know what his situation at home but it seems that he asked the teacher to stay at the dorm despite the chance to go home. I opened the door slowly and was greeted with a figure fast asleep sitting by the desk beside stacks of books surrounding him._

_I gently pull the chair beside the figure and sat. I stared at the droopy brow wrinkling. I smiled. Reaching out to the boy’s hair, I caress the silky smooth locks carefully, afraid that I would wake the boy up. It took me four days to rake the dorm upside down just to find the one that I met on the roof. Mostly because the freshmen have their own schedule, separated by their preliminary assigned class and I was occupied with practice on the day. I can only look for the boy at midnight considering their schedule until after the activities after dinner._

_The boy suddenly murmured some intangible words before sniffing. I held back my laughter, seeing the boy wriggling his nose in his sleep. The boy’s name… after much difficulties, I finally got his full name, Nam Taehyun. Average score student, extremely athletic, got in with purely scholarship I could guess that he’s not well off like 90% of the students here. From what I see, he’s very unsociable. In just two weeks there are already group of people aiming at him. Despite people made aware of his entrance status, the girls still flock around him, some even looked at him with envious eyes, even the teachers seemed to have a soft spot for this hard headed boy, even though he hardly smile._

_His eyes flutters open. Surprised by my stare, Taehyun backs away abruptly. “What time is it?” he asked as he wipes his drool._

_I chuckled. “Almost 6.” I answered him, he shook his head and quickly tidied up all the books he had on the desk. I took a few of them and helped him rearrange it back on their own shelf. “Say Taehyunie…” I said._

_He shot his glare at me and huffed, annoyed by me. Day by day I shove myself onto his face, he only spoke just a few short words._

_“…aren’t you bored spending your time in the library all the time? Why didn’t you go home?” I waited patiently for him to answer fully aware that he won’t even bother listening to the question._

_He suddenly sigh. “None of your business… sunbae.” He emphasized on the word with an eye roll. He finished tidying up and left me behind locking the library._

_Later that night, when I go and looked for him at his room, he wasn’t there. I found him by the public telephone provided by the school overhearing him, talking to his mom, asking about her day and apologizing, apparently leaving for school isn’t his choice. I sat there, hiding, hearing his soft sniffles after he had hung up the phone. For some reason, at that precise moment, I vowed to make him feel happy schooling here even though he didn’t want to._

Little that I know both of us came to a point that none of us wanted to leave it just at friendship. I took another swing, slamming the empty glass on the counter, demanding the bartender to replace the emptied bottle. I poured the jack, watching it fills the tiny glass as the memories I buried on the back of my mind came pouring back out.

 

_“Hyung! Stop stealing my book. Why are you here anyway? Isn’t the second year have to listen to that career talk or something?” he clicked his tongue._

_“I already know what I’m doing, so no use going there. What about you? Why are you so interested with the computer anyway? What are you doing there?” I took a peek at the screen he’s been fully focusing on._

_“It’s drawing. See this? I’ve been trying to draw moving characters since last week. Still half failed though.” He giggled happily._

_I smiled. I studied his face closely. Though he is clearly a guy, his skin is smoother than most of the girls here in school. His jaw is chiselled but still looks delicate._

_“Hyung… Joo Hyun noona came looking for you this morning. She said you weren’t answering your phone. You really should treat her better. She really likes you…” he said. His eyes are still on the screen and his hand is busy with the mouse clicking here and there._

_“I broke it off with her since before the break. When will she stop?” I sighed._

_“It’s because she likes you. You should clear things up with her. She kept pestering me every day asking about you.” He still hasn’t taken his eyes off the screen._

_“I did, I told her I like you.” I said casually, I stole a glance at him from the corner of my eyes but he didn’t even flinch._

_“No wonder she’s been bothering me every single day. You ought to fix that nonchalant attitude of yours and hurry up finding a replacement.” He said, still… keeping his focus on the computer._

_“Hey!” I raised my voice and turned his chair, making him who is surprised, face me. “Didn’t you hear me just now? I said I like you.”_

_“Yeah… I can see that. I like you too hyung… but seriously. Go get yourself a girlfriend already. It’s a waste of time for you to spend your time with just your junior.” He said it with a straight face, clearly he hasn’t grasped my confession._

_Frustrated by his obliviousness, I clicked my tongue. Grabbing his face with both of my hands I pecked his soft lips. “I like… like you. Got it?”_

_He froze at his spot. I wasn’t even sure he even breathed when I left him. Surely he avoided me for a few days but I cornered him at his dorm room. He rejected me a few times that night, I hugged him tight and poured all sweet promises till he agreed to give it a shot._

Promises that if I knew I wouldn’t keep, I… that and there was the moment that I swear I wouldn’t leave him behind… that I wouldn’t let his hand go. I stared at the golden liquid swirling in my glass.

 

_“Taehyunie.” I coiled his hair around my finger. “Pay more attention to me, aren’t we dating right now?” I whined._

_“But we’re watching a movie right now.” He didn’t even look at my way. His eyes are straight to the wide screen of moving pictures._

_I clicked my tongue. After much difficulties he finally agreed to spend our weekend out of the school. I booked us this romcom movie. But instead of spending our time being lovey dovey, he is too focused on the story rather than me. I sulked like a little kid, mood spoiled and basically just lose my happy mood. At the end of our first outing together he sighed._

_“Hyung… are you angry? Sorry… I really don’t know how this dating thing work. I’ve told you, I’m not interested in this kind of things.” His droopy brow dropped even lower as he lowers his head, fidgeting on his toes while we wait for the last bus to arrive._

_I hooked my forefinger under his chin. “How can I ever be angry at you.” I pecked softly on his lips. He blushed, in spite of countless of times I’ve stolen small kisses from him, he still blushed as if it was the first time. I pulled him in my arms, “Jeez, your body is so cold. Next time wear something warmer.” I wrapped my arms around him, sharing my heat with him, I felt happy when I can feel his heart beat elevated. “You hardly smile, even with me. Can’t you let me be the reason behind your smile? Can’t you rely on me more? Let me hold your hand, let me feed you, let me pamper you.” I pressed my lips on his temple, “Just let yourself to be loved. Can’t you trust me a little? I feel like just your friend. Have like me yet?”_

_“Are you sulking?” his sweet chuckle rings into my ear. “Hyung… I don’t like you I wouldn’t even bother having this date with you. Though I still don’t understand why you want to date someone like me.”_

_“Didn’t you know? It’s love at first sight. My birthday present too.” I smiled wide as I can see that he does too._

The sweet smile that I robbed, the two year we were together was the best year. I slapped a couple of banknote to cover up my drinks since dusk. I stood and walked out swaying.  I had a little too much to drink. Every time he rejects me it felt like a piece of my heart crumbles into dust. I hailed a cab, gave the driver my address and throw my sight out of the moving sceneries.

 

_“Song Mino… your three years will end next month. Leave all your lingering feelings for that boy behind and live up to your word.” My father spoke in his strict tone. A tone that we all ever heard of._

_“I won’t. I want to be with him.” I said curtly. A hint of regret rose in me. When I left home for school three years ago I bartered my future for my freedom._

_“Mino ya… you just spent too much time around that boy. That’s why you feel like he is your whole world. The outside is vast. Surely you’ll find something else to be interested in.” my mom said while taking a sip at her tea the principle prepared for us._

_“Omma… he’s not some hobby. He’s a good kid. If you guys just meet him, I’m sure you’ll like him too.” I reached out to hold her hand._

_“His family… they have financial problems. What if he’s just into your pocket rather than you?” My mom smirked._

_“I don’t need your money then. We’ll see that he’ll stay with me even after.” I scoffed at her statement._

_“Don’t want our money? Do you think you can even meet him without that money? You’re here because of that money. I heard that he’s here on a scholarship. Our scholarship. Do you think he doesn’t want that money too? He still have a year left no?” my father spoke with his straight face._

_“If you want to mess with me, do it with me. Not him.” I said with my teeth gritted tight._

_My mother sighed, “There’s no use for us to bother other people dear. We’re not in some soap opera. If our son doesn’t want our money, we’ll just have to not give him then.” Finishing the coffee served, my mother stood and pulled my father along. “Don’t be too arrogant son, you don’t even know how the world works yet.”_

_I smiled to myself, I felt like I have won. Just another six month, then I’ll go and continue my study in Seoul. With my result it won’t be a problem to land a full scholarship. The plan also includes working part time and collect some money, perhaps rent a room or house till he finish his school then we could live together._

_However, the sun isn’t always shining. My parents had revoked all financial support, even the food allowance was cut off. My phone, my computer, the luxury of single room, the unlimited access to any room on ground, even the books they provided were taken by our servant that came specially to clean up every single trace of ‘their money’. I was left with only the clothes and mandatory school books and stationaries. At first I thought it’s fine, I can live without those but slowly the misery came creeping by. I didn’t tell anyone about it, not even him. When I moved to a shared room I said it’s because of I wanted to study with others. I looked for part time job just to cover for the monthly standard dorm food fee. Until it took a toll on my result. My preliminary test were affected._

He always stayed by my side though, at that time, he was the only thing that kept me sane, the only thing that kept me going. But I was selfish, getting a first-hand taste moneyless life, I went back running to my parents. Going back to my original plan which is law. I know that if I didn’t do it, when the situation gets too tough, I’ll blame him. I regretted that I held my tongue every time I want to say ‘I love you’ to him. I regretted that I left him without a single word. I should’ve explained the real situation, I should’ve begged him to wait, I should’ve said those three little words but I was afraid, I was afraid that I would falter. I was afraid that if I look at him I would abandon everything to be with him. But I know, I’ve seen how people who had stayed together for so long had fights. Fights where they blame their partner for all the miss opportunities

 

The cab stopped in front of the road leading to my house, the driver asked if it’s correct, the way is since the road is dark. I said yes but I want to walk from here. I paid the man and take one step at a time. Sobering up a little with the cold breeze against my face. With the silence and the darkness, all I could think of him. the rejection, the snarky remark, the sarcasm, the harsh word every single thing that came out of him ever since I met him again, it made me realize of the things I had lost from my choice back then, his smile, his laughter, his gentle hands, his worries, his whines, his concerning eyes.

 

As I reached the steps of my secluded house, the me, who was disappointed to be turned down over and over again have decided not to give up. I don’t want all of those memories to be just a little something in the past. I wanted it to be cherished and to be remembered with joy. I took out my phone and dialled the number that sent me the latest text.

 


	22. Something Worth a Chance

TAEHYUN

 

“Appa!” Taewoo’s squeal echoed in the bathroom as the boy jump excitedly, splashing the water in the tub. “Vroom!!!” Taewoo shouted while pushing the toy boat crash into the action figure I’m holding. “Boom!!!!”

“Arghh…” I turned the action figure tumbling away and crash onto the tub. Letting it float afterwards as if it died. 

Taewoo giggled and throw himself on my lap, splashing the water all over the place. 

Eunji sauntered in with her hands putting on some fancy earrings. “You are so gonna spend the whole night drying and cleaning the bathroom.” 

I didn’t say anything but just grinned silly at her. She put on some short fiery red ruched dinner dress that compliments her body. 

Eunji took a clean towel and placed it on the edge of the bathtub for her to seat on facing Taewoo and me. She caress Taewoo’s wet hair, “You sure you don’t wanna come with?” her eyes directed on me.

I paid my full attention to Taewoo who is fiddling with other toys we brought, I shook my head. “No thanks noona, I’m not gonna be the ex-husband who intrudes on his ex-wife’s date.”

Euniji blushed, “It’s not a date, and he’s just taking me to a talk of the town restaurant. Beside I’ve already told him about you being here. He sounded very excited hearing your name.“

“Why is your boyfriend is so excited hearing my name? As if I’m a real live mermaid or something.” I rolled my eyes.

“First of, he’s just a boy and a friend… nothing more. Second, he knows you’re a full human being, it’s just that he wanted to know the person that hold on Mino’s heart for years.” Eunji explained. She stood and look over her looks one more time in the mirror by the sink. 

I smiled bitterly at the sound of his name. The scene of the last night we met suddenly pops in the back of my head. 

“Come on… we can just put in for extra one adult.” Pleaded Eunji with her hands folded, waiting for my consent. 

“Taewoo eottae?” Taewoo suddenly speak up. In midst of the shock, I cheered at my son. Taewoo tilted his head at Eunji, staring at her, questioning her.

“Taewoo ya~~ Do you think omma will leave you if your appa is coming?” Eunji pinched Taewoo’s nose making the boy slap the soapy water with both of his hands, splashing the water all over and Eunji screamed loudly. She ran out while whining how her stunning dress could’ve gotten wet.

Taewoo giggled. “Good job Taewoo!” I shout purposely. We high fived and just continued playing with the water while Eunji mumbling annoyingly about how like father like son we are. 

“Appa.” Taewoo turned around and face me, putting his tiny hands on my cheeks. “Minyo chamchoon came?” 

“…N-no… why?” I turned Taewoo around to avoid him seeing any unwanted expression on my face.

“Taewoo not want appa cry.” Taewoo, looking all down said while fiddling with his toys.

“Taewoo is a good boy. Appa won’t cry anymore okay?” I made sure we make an eye contact with each other, making sure that I would convince him.

“Ung!” Taewoo lift his head and nod with a smile.

 

 

“I didn’t expect him to be that sensitive about it.” I said, closing the door to the bedroom and sat right next to Eunji who just came from the kitchen carrying two cups of steaming hot coffee.

“When did this happened?” Eunji crossed legs and leans a bit closer to me.

“I’ve told you… in the bathroom earlier.” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m not talking about that I’m talking about the incident where Taewoo saw you crying over him.” 

I sighed, “During Jinwoo’s wedding cruise… remember?”

“That was months ago… even I forgotten about it, how can…” Eunji sighed, “It can’t be helped that kids picks up on emotions better than adults. Sorry I pushed him on you too much that time.” Eunji rested her head on my shoulder.

“You were just thinking of the best for me noona, I know that.” I sighed. Letting my head fall to the side, I gently rest it on Eunji’s head. “The only one who has all the blame is him.”

“You really need to resolve your feeling towards him. You’ve held on for too long already. I myself thought that… that you still longs for him.” Eunji entwine our fingers together. “Let the feelings you have for him go.”

I squeezed her hand. “For years… I thought I’ve moved on. But… seeing him, standing in front of me, playing with Taewoo… I just felt my heart squeezed in pain. I just couldn’t. It’s like… all these while… I… I lived my life by putting everything inside of a box, locked it, throw the key away and when I saw him again… he somehow found the key and unlocked it.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to let go noona… I thought I already did.” My thumb rubs Eunji’s hand softly.

Eunji pulled her hand away and throw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “You must’ve love him still.”

I buried my nose into her hair. Taking a whiff of her sweet floral perfume. “Enough about me noona.” I pulled away. “Tell me about your date earlier.” I took the cups of coffee Eunji placed on the table for us. Handed one of them to her and took a sip at mine.

“That wasn’t a date.” Eunji’s face took a rosy colour and his cherry red lips pouted. “… anyway it went well. Though… I was a little disappointed.”

“Why?”

“He kept asking about you and… he didn’t even mind, not even a bit, about me heading back to Korea with you.” Eunji stared deep at her coffee.

“Does this mean you’ve made up your mind about Korea?” Seeing that she doesn’t have any intention of taking a sip of that coffee, I took it off her hand and place it back on the table.

“Yeah… Jinwoo said the news about us died down a bit and he already cleared up any loose ends on the beauty department. So basically, the workers and clients there are ready to take me in.” Eunji threw her sight out of the window.

“That’s good then. Besides noona… maybe you should take a step back with Seunghoon ssi. I feel that you’re a bit too fast with the whole relationship thing. Maybe being a little distant will be a good thing. You can see if your feeling towards him is real or not.” I caress her hair and patted her shoulder.

“Yeah… you’re right. Maybe I was just seeking some warmth with him.” Eunji’s smile looked so bitter that it pricked my heart. My mouth gape open and close, frying to find the right words for her comfort but Eunji beat me to it.

“Speaking of which, Samuel called earlier.” Her bitter smile turned to a haughty smirk.

“He did?” I chuckled softly, remembering of all the mishaps we faced for the entire week.

“What the hell did both of you went through till Samuel kept repeating that fate hates hime.”

“He said that?” I broke out in laughter.

“Great… Samuel said that it’ll cheer you up.” Eunji smiled. “That’s it. I’m gonna go and change… starts packing up and sleep.” 

“Night noona.” I took both of the mugs and head straight to the kitchen to wash them. “Oh… nice change of topic by the way.” I shout it out just before Eunji closed her door.

 

Eunji answered by sticking out her tongue. I poured the leftover coffee into the sink when my phone pings, saying I got another mail. I swipe to unlock it, displaying the picture I took earlier this year with Eunji and Taewoo. Scrolling down one by one of the mail and messages I’ve been ignoring all day, one in particular attracts me the most. It’s the gallery I frequent to, the one I went with Samuel the other day… in three days there’ll be a new etching art opening. Funny enough, I got an invitation to a private preliminary viewing party. 

My mind wanders back to the night I saw him, arguing with a woman at the same gallery. I can feel my heart clenched tightly in pain. I shook my head, chasing away the unnecessary, thinking that it would be the best distraction, I thoughtlessly clicked the RSVP ‘YES’ button saying that I agree to attend it. 

Not minding other mails, I brought my phone into the bedroom I’m using, opened the book I was reading, switch off all lights except my reading lamp and indulge myself with the story. I wasn’t aware when did I fell asleep but a phone call woke me up rudely. Groggily, I picked it up without looking at the caller id.

The sound that came through it woke me up entirely, it was the song I kept playing too him, a song that I used to love listening to until he hit me with reality. 

“Taehyun ah. I know you won’t answer but please don’t hang up yet. Listen to me first… please.” I hear his rough voice begs at the end of the line.

I froze, the back of my head, there’s a little voice saying that it’ll be a regret not to listen to. I kept my silence.

“I… I’m sorry. I just… I really don’t know what else I should do to redeem myself. Have you read the letters I wrote for you for the past 15 years? I just… I never had the courage to send it out. Over and over again, I kept hurting you. I’m sorry for barging in the other night. I was… I lost my… I lost my judgement a little, seeing you with someone else and… I-I was afraid that you’ll misunderstands the situation that time. She… she’s just a friend and someone else’s wife. She was just upset about a business deal, nothing more. Taehyun ah… can’t you say something please?” his sounded coarser pleaded softly.

My hand trembles, I took a deep breath and let out a long heavy sigh. “What do you want from me then?” I said through my gritted teeth.

“Give me a chance to be in your life again.” I opened my mouth to shut him down but he cut me off. “… A friend!” he shouted. “Let me stay by your side… even just as a friend. I promise you I won’t do anything to upset you. If I did, tell me then I’ll correct it. Please Taehyunie, don’t continue to hate me, even if you don’t want to take me back, just let me stay by your side. That’s all I asked for. I know I don’t have any rights to ask for anything from you but give me a chance?”

“Fine.” I said curtly, hung up before he could say another word. A few second after that, the reality seeps in. I jumped out of the bed nervously, walking back and forth, starting to regret that one little word I blurted just now. “Nonono. They said keep friends close, enemies closer. That’s what I’m doing here.” I convinced myself so and the feeling of relief creeps in slowly. “Yeah… That’s what I’m doing.” I climbed back on my bed and curled under the duvet trying to ignore the voice in my head, “Maybe it’s something worth a chance” it says.


	23. Something New

**MINO**

 “Hyung.” I walked across the gallery and met up with Jiyong in the middle of the crowd.

 

“Oh… you’re here? Nice crowd you got here.” Jiyong raised his glass of champagne and called for the waiter to come bring the drinks.

 

“Thank you.” I nodded as the waiter do the same before walking away. “Yeah. Bommie noona did a great job with the promotion despite the short notice. You here alone?” I took a sip of the drink and looked around for the shadow of Jiyong’s better half.

 

“Yeah… Seunghyun is around here somewhere. He got too excited with all of your pieces.” Jiyong sounded annoyed. Jiyong downed the glass empty, hailed a waiter, got himself the second one which he emptied within a spilt second and acquired another glass full of the golden liquid.

 

 

I shooed away the waiter. “How many of this did you drink already?” snatching the glass away.

 

“Mind your own business… artist.” Jiyong snatched the glass back from my hand. And then he starts mumbling under his breath. Something about art was his thing and sculpture was his partner thing.

 

I shook my head at Jiyong. I looked around, scouting the whole area. A lot of people turned up, which made me feel a sense of accomplishment. Even without selling my name or my family’s name, people here came, just to see the art. My eyes landed on each piece hung around the room, the hard work I poured, the memories they’re holding and the story they’re telling, it may not be known to the audience here but it still feels nerve wrecking.

 

I walked a little, not that I was acting like the owner but I greeted the people I knew. Throwing a bit of smile here and there, from time to time I’ll stop and stare at the piece of metal I spent a lot of effort to etch.

 

“All of these are based on the photos you took?” Seunghyun’s voice pulled me out.

 

“Some of them… yeah. But mostly are my memories.”

 

“It’s really interesting. To etch this size of plate… but I must say… the things you etch are so… common… familiar… it makes other people feel like they can relate to. Good job.” Seunghyun patted my back and walks away, leaving me alone standing there.

 

I stared of the piece of metal plate, one of my earliest. Looking closer, the rust of the edge of it can be clearly seen.

 

“That’s a nice piece.” A familiar voice said.

 

“This is the first one… where I succeed.” I smiled proudly, I turned to my side and met Bom’s apologetic eyes.

 

“I’m sorry for being a jerk the other day.” Bom pouted her lips, sadly at me.

 

“I don’t mind noona. I know that you were just thinking of what’s best for me and you gallery.” I rub the small back of Bom.

 

Bom leans on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my waist like she always does. “Have I ever mentioned that you’re a good man?”

 

“I believe that’s the first one.” We both laughed.

 

“Have you seen Seunghyun?” Jiyong suddenly came, almost like he’s panicking.

 

Bom shook her head. “He was here somewhere few minutes ago. Why? What’s wrong?”

 

“Our house alarm just went off and this idiot left his cell phone with me.” Jiyong sounds frustrated.

 

“Lemme help search for him in other sections.” I offered. I walked away from Bom and Jiyong not before I overheard Bom offered to help as well.

 

Searching pass the section where I talked to Seunghyun earlier, I tried to look for him at the other end of the hallway. A few of my acquaintances as well as some current and previous clients of our firm stopped me from time to time as I am stopping those who I know that knows Seunghyun as well to ask for Seunghyun. Each shook their head. I walked to the end of the hallway, reaching to the section where I knew Bom put up all the photograph in reference to almost of my art. There my steps where stopped. This section is almost empty since it contains nothing but photos and being the end of the exhibition just a few people left standing around in the dimmed light. However, there he is, the light where the album shone brightly on him while he is looking down on the pictures intently. A jacket is hung on one of his arm while his other hand tucked his hair back as they enters his eyesight.

 

“Ta-Taehyun?” I called out his name. Even though everything here is for him, I didn’t expect for him to show up here. “Wha-what are you doing here?” I took the steps towards him. He looked up, locking his eyes with me just for a split second before averting them. _He knew_. I thought to myself.

 

“Mino! Great you’re here. Look who decide to swing by.” Seunghyun settled a hand over his shoulder.

 

He smiled awkwardly. I shook my head to keep my focus on. “Hyung. Jiyong hyung said something about an emergency. Go wait by the car I’ll call iyong hyung to meet you there.”

 

Seunghyun looked puzzled. “What emergency?”  he asked. “We came here by taxi.”

 

I dialled up Jiyong’s number and asked him to wait by my car. “Just take my car then.” I said to him. “Jiyong hyung said your house alarm went off or something.”

 

“Great… another break in?” Seunghyun rubbed his temple while the three of us, including him rushed to where my car is parked.

 

When we got there, we can see that my car has been blocked by a few car. “Shit. I’ll call their owners.”

 

Jiyong arrived a few seconds later. “Hey!”

 

“They’re not picking up.” I dialled the number again.

 

Bom who came after Jiyong offered to go back in and announce the owners for the cars.

 

“Just take my car first.” He who has been silent suddenly speaks up. “I parked across the street, there shouldn’t be a problem to take it out.”

 

Jiyong and Seunghyun who are clearly desperate agreed immediately. Four of us rushed back upstairs and goes straight to where he parked his car. Seconds later, the both of them has disappeared into the bustling road while the both of us stood there in awkward silence.

 

“So…” I speak up first.

 

“Maybe I should go.” He said with a low voice.

 

“What? Why? You just got here right? Let’s get inside first.” I slowly placed my hand on the small back of his.

 

He looked over the building across the street and hesitated. “I-I can’t. Sorry… I need to go.”

 

“Was it because of me?” I said. 

 

His footsteps stopped. I heard his soft sigh. “Some of the pictures used for the etched plate was yours isn’t it?”

 

“Not some. All of them.” I took my steps towards him. “Even the etched plates…they’re mine.”

 

“I would appreciate that you wouldn’t get me involved in your shenanigans anymore in the future.” He hailed up a taxi by the busy road, but luckily none stopped for now.

 

Without a word to spare, I took his hands roughly and pulled him towards the building where I had parked my car. At first he resisted, trying to pull his hands back but as my grip getting tighter and tighter, he eventually gave up and just followed my lead. I unlocked my car and opened the passenger door for him. “I’ll drop you off, get in.” I keep my voice low and steady as I withheld every single emotions I felt at the moment.

 

He obediently climbed into the car. I slammed the door shut, start the engine up, turn on the heater and the radio before leaving him alone there to find Bom, crossing my finger that he won’t leave. Ten minutes later, I came back with the owners of the cars that blocked mine, feeling relief to see him sitting still inside. I thanked them for clearing out their car and excused us. I drove quietly, with him, sitting beside me, asleep. From what she texted few days ago, he definitely just got back yesterday.

 

I leaned closer to him, studied his face closely like I always did years ago. Seeing how his lashes are still long like it were back then, the rise up his nose, I gently tap with the tip of my finger on the matching mole we had there. The freckles and the mole just under his eyes, it seems like nothing had changed. He suddenly moved, I quickly pull away and awkwardly straighten my back at my seat, clearing my throat.

 

“S-sorry.” He looked around in a dazed, it took him a few second to realize that we have reached his home. He rubbed his face roughly, an act to wake him up, a habit that haven’t changed over the years. “T-thank you for the ride.” He said as he reached for the door handle.

 

Luckily the car is still locked. “You need to hear me out first.” I said, that put a stop at his track. “Every single photo I put there is about you, every single etched plate I made is for you, even learning how to etch is for you.” I sighed. “Look, I know that I said that I wanted to be friends again with you, but I can’t hide what I feel for you. You have all the right to feel offended when you see all the things I did connected to you but you can’t stop me. To be honest Taehyun ah, why would you feel anything if you don’t even have any feelings towards me anymore right?”

 

“You’re right. I don’t… but that doesn’t mean that you can pull me along in your play. I offended and annoyed.” He said curtly.

 

“I didn’t. I held this exhibition without revealing who I am and for who it is. I didn’t invite you, the exhibition’s manager doesn’t even know who it was about. That’s what I call fate playing with us. I swear I have nothing to do with you being invited there, I myself was surprised to see you there. You’re not going to go back on your words about us being friends right?” He looked dumbstruck. Taking a chance I quickly cut his thoughts, “Great. You should head in, I need to head over Jiyong hyung’s house to see how they’re doing. Good night.” I nudged his shoulder. “Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” I said before driving away, leaving him speechless by the road.

 

I pulled out my phone and dialled up her number. “Hey.” I said when the call is connected. “I just dropped him off… yeah, I faced him head on… he looked a bit lost just like you said. It was something new.” I chuckled. Ever since I met him again months ago, that was a fresh look on his face, a face of confused, astounded. “Thanks Eunji, I’ll see you and Taewoo tomorrow. Goodnight.”

 

 

 


	24. Something Confusing

**TAEHYUN**

 

 

 

“Appa!” Taewoo smacked both of his hands on my cheeks, pulling me out of my heavy thoughts. “Omma is calling!” Taewoo climbed down from my lap and pulled my hands towards Eunji.

 

“Are you okay?” Eunji, still in her night gown walked around the kitchen counter and fetched the coffee pot with two mugs for us. “Your face look like crap.” She said.

 

I took a seat on the bar stool, placing Taewoo on the counter in front of me and quickly cover the boy’s ears with my palm. “Can you not say those words in front of Taewoo? Kids his age learn fast.”

 

“Ops. Sorry.” Eunji poured the hot coffee which I made and give one of the mug to me. “Taewoo ya… did you hear what appa said? So don’t use that word to your friends okay?” Eunji point her finger at Taewoo.

 

“Don’t say prap? Okay!” Taewoo reached for the pancake I made earlier and nibble them. “Appa…” he suddenly whisper to my ear, “…what is prap?”

 

“Nothing that you should know for now okay?” I tapped my fingertip onto his nose as Taewoo nodded cheerfully. “See that noona.” I shoot a glare at Eunji who is rolling her eyes.

 

“So… what brings you soooo early this morning?” Eunji squint her eyes at me, trying to figure me out.

 

“Nothing. Can’t I miss my only son and my lovely ex-wife?” I sips the hot coffee in my hand.

 

“Oh please. You? Miss me? Why wanna remarry?” Eunji sarcastically pokes me.

 

“Can we?” I flash my innocent smile at her.

 

“Ugh… Stop using me to escape from your problems.” She slaps the back of my head without any mercy.

 

“Noona!” I whined.

 

Taewoo that is sitting in front of me burst out giggling. “Cherves you waight.” Both of them high fived.

 

“A week… just a week Taewoo stays with you, you turned him against me already? The…pain…in my…heart…” I faked crying while clutching my shirt for which earned me a smack on the lips by Taewoo.

 

“Appa no crying.” Taewoo said as he slobber the sticky mess on his hands onto my hair.

 

Eunji laughed loudly. “Look at the father and son go. Don’t you have work today? Go clean up… and take this sloppy monster with you.” She took the empty plate and threw it into the sink along with the cups we were using. As she turned around, with my help, Taewoo wiped his filled with drool hands on Eunji’s face before both of us ran and hide in the bathroom while Eunji screamed on top of her lungs.

 

 

 

 

 

“Didn’t you go to the gallery last night?” Eunji asked. My hand paused for a split second, I was buckling Taewoo’s carseat. Taewoo who is facing me tilted his head as if he was curious at the face I’m making.

 

“Y-yeah.” I stutters a little bit before gaining back my composure. I slip into the driver’s seat and fasten my seatbelt. “I wasn’t there for too long though but I did managed to see all the piece.”

 

“How was it? You always have been interested with etching art, you couldn’t shut up how the art is impressive or something.” Eunji reached to the back and teased Taewoo, making the boy giggled.

 

“I did not. Like I said… I didn’t managed to spend a lot of time admiring them. I was too tired. I was there just briefly.”

 

“Okay… be frank… did something happen last night?” Eunji folded her arms, waiting for me to answer.

 

“W-what? Nothing. I’ve told you… the dean of my department was there, we talked a little and suddenly he had an emergency for which I lent him my car. After that I went home… drink a little while relaxing in a bubble bath and then went straight to bed. That’s all.”

 

“Don’t lie!” Eunji slapped my shoulder.

 

“Hey! I’m driving. I’m not lying”

 

“Yes you are… you left an important detail. Something must’ve happened in between if not… explain that face you’re having. And point to note Nam Taehyun ssi… each and every time you go to any… I repeat _any_ … art exhibition. You would be talking about them in every single breath you take for at least 24 hours.” Eunji poked my arm with her forefinger, over and over again.

 

“Stop that.” I smack her finger away. “Since when did I do that? And what face? I’m not making any face.”

 

“Like you didn’t get to climax while having sex or something.” Eunji said casually.

 

I shrieked. “Noona!”

 

“What?” Eunji shouted.

 

“Taewoo can hear you!” I shouted back.

 

“Oh… ops. Sorry…”

 

I sighed. “Nothing happened okay… I just bumped into him. Ap…”

 

 

Before I could finish my sentence, Eunji cut me off with. “Who? Mino?”

 

I glared at her. “Yeah… him. Apparently… he’s the owner of those arts.”

 

“Oh wow… so he etched all those arts?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“For you?”

 

“Yea…what? No! he did not!”

 

“It’s so obvious it’s for you.”

 

“No!!! he himself made it clear that it’s not for me.”

 

“Ahhh… not I get what you’re not satisfied about. Is it because he said that?”

 

“Of course not.” I denied but I felt a little squeeze in my heart.

 

“Sheesh Taehyunie. First you pushed him away… then you don’t even acknowledge his existence… but you kept tempting him now you’re angry he didn’t name you as his muse? Talk about confusing mess.”

 

“I am not a confusing mess. It’s good… I’m glad that he didn’t involve my name directly like that… that means that he’s over me. So we could be plain old friends again.”

 

“So… now you wanna be friends with him? I thought you said you hated his guts.”

 

“I never said that.”

 

“Yes you did. Like… a lot.”

 

“E-even if I did… Taewoo seems to have taken a liking to him anyway. I can’t be in between them.”

 

“Yeah right. Whatever you say…” Eunji said with her cynical tone.

 

My mouth gaped, opening and closing a few times not knowing what I should say to defend myself. _Did I really said I hate him?_ I thoughts suddenly rakes all the memories I could think of about him. However, I can only recall all the touches, and all the kisses he had forced on him. To make it worse, the current memories overlapping with the old one making the blood rise up to my head. I was afraid to even look into the mirror because I know how my face is burning right now. “This is me.” I suddenly said, stepping on the brake a little too hard making Eunji’s phone almost slipped out of her hands. She’s been busy texting someone since earlier.

 

“See how close my apartment is with your school? You sure you don’t wanna switch?” Eunji offered.

 

“Nahhh… it’s more secure than the house. You better off there.” Both of us exited the car. I opened the back door and showered Taewoo with kisses and promises like always. “You sure don’t want to drop Taewoo at omma’s?”

 

“Yeap. It’s bring your son day to work.” Eunji chuckled giving signs that she is joking. “It’s fine. Don’t worry, I’m not abusing the CEO’s power or anything. I just need to go through some legal documents with our corporate lawyer and the rest of the day is free for now. If I can’t handle him I’ll send him to the internal daycare and visit him every hour okay?” Eunji straighten up my tie and pats my chest.

 

“Fine.” Out of habit I lean down and peck on the crown of her hair. “Wanna have lunch together?” I offered only to earn a hard jab on my stomach.

 

“This is the reason why all the guys are afraid to approach me. Stop behaving like you’re my husband. You and Jinwoo are too protective.” She slaps on my arms with her teeth clenched tight.

 

“What did I do? I just invite you for lunch.” I smiled haughtily knowing very well that she is spot on.

 

“That’s it. Go do your job.” Eunji turned me around and pushed me away.

 

“Bye noona… See you when I see you.” I waved at her and she waved back.

 

A few of my students saw us, they teased me all the way from our building’s entrance to the elevator where luckily we bumped into the dean, Seunghyun. With Seunghyun’s serious face, the students scattered their way, excusing themselves in a hurry. Seunghyun tried to be friendly but seeing how awkward the conversation led to, Seunghyun excused himself after a short thanks for the car and made me promise to come have dinner at his home again with Taewoo.

 

After all the hustling and bustling of the morning, I finally found peace, sitting in my office nothing but silence and the aroma of coffee. A wrong step since the memories of unwanted things began flooding in. last night was… a mess. I didn’t know what I was getting in to. At first I wasn’t sure, I thought my eyes were playing trick on me, depicting the etched plates as something I wanted to see. I panicked.

 

When the assistant manage whom I’ve known from my frequent visits to the gallery told me that all the arts are referenced from various photos and that the photos are on display, I can feel my feet were half running heading there. I almost lost all the strength when I finally saw all the photos, all the memories. It was pure luck when Seunghyun pat me on the back, calling me out. It was the only thing that kept my mind off of everything. I managed to play it cool, in the pretence of nothing there affects me. However, luck didn’t stay for too long. I can feel my blood drained when I heard his voice calling my name, I see his face staring at me, I see him standing just a few feet from me.

 

My instinct calls for me to run but Seunghyun being there reminded me not to do anything hasty. With all chaos on Seunghyun and his spouse and his sudden burst, a part of me felt a sense of relief, a sense of pride, when he admitted that all those referenced photos and all of the arts are his. Call me crazy but I was… proud. Then suddenly my mouth runs by itself, I was meaning to congratulate him but nothing but mean words came out. I couldn’t sleep a wink last night. Feeling guilty, feeling like a brat. Last night was never about me, it was about him holding an exhibition of his work.

 

I let out a long sigh. Banging my head on my desk, I felt nothing but embarrassment when he said what he said last night. _“I didn’t. I held this exhibition without revealing who I am and for who it is. I didn’t invite you, the exhibition’s manager doesn’t even know who it was about. That’s what I call fate playing with us.”_

 

“Ughhh…” I groaned out loud at the same time my assistant came in.

 

“Now what is wrong with you so early in the morning?” Mrs. Go came in with her pointy spectacles, her pink cardigan and plaid skirt placing all the mails I received on the desk beside the coffee she brought in before.

 

“What do I always say stupid things without thinking?” I continued pounding on the desk with my head.

 

“It’s good that you have so much energy in the morning, but save some for this afternoon.” I stared at her with a puzzling face. “It seems that the dean is having another showdown with the Performance Arts department.”

 

“What?” I huffed. “What is it this time?”

 

Mrs. Go puts on her gossiping face. “From what I heard, they wanted to do a collaboration event at the Christmas party.”

 

“Christmas Party? Isn’t that like a month away? Are they crazy? Everything has been put on motion what else do they want to stuffed in?” I rubbed my temple hard. It’s a headache. This year is our department’s turn to organize the party, as what has been discussed, it should only be a black tie event with just a few singer. Nothing special nothing out of the ordinary. “It’s not like we could say anything.” I sighed. “I’m going to see Samuel hyung for a while.” I left my office and head to Samuel’s workshop.

 

Suddenly it hits me, just for a moment, I was distracted from thinking of the unnecessary things, thinking of him. I took out my phone and send a short text to him, just a little gesture to keep myself from feeling guilty. I looked out of the window, a thought came passing by. Maybe more work isn’t so bad after all, at least it’ll keep me from thinking of something confusing.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	25. Something has to Change

**MINO**

With an office so high up, surrounded by bright morning light and away from the noise of the city, I wondered what makes this slender woman to sacrifice her luxurious life in change of a position that holds so many responsibilities and tonnes of papers. When my junior suddenly stood along with her, I shook away the thoughts away and stood up myself. We exchanged some nods and smiles, handshakes and words of comforting before ending our two hours of discussion.

 

After Jinwoo’s wedding with Danah, it’s like a silent agreement of saying our firm to be appointed as their legal team once the contract for their previous law firm expired. There were exchanging of hands, people to be moved and finally the new appointed CEO taking over. Here we are finalizing the final contract to be hold by both our hands and not the least I was named as the lead. All the terms has been discussed and the contract itself has been mended to meet the demands from both sides, today was just the formalities. Her right hand guided my right hand towards the outside while I lingers behind with Eunji knowing eyes and a smirk.

 

“Pheww…never knew contract signing would take that long.” Eunji complained as she guide me through the door that connects to her private office.

 

“And here in my mind I was just praising how you choose to work rather than spending your brother’s hard earn money.” I walked into her office before her meeting another bright lit office with a little boy playing his toys and a woman waiting beside him. Eunji dismissed what I presume her second secretary seeing how the other secretary was sending my senior associate out just now.

 

“I would rather be dumb from knowing too much than be dumb for not knowing. At least now I know why has my pocket money kept decreasing.” She kicks her high heels to the side and slid into a pair of comfortable indoor slippers. Eunji slumped on the couch beside Taewoo.

 

Taewoo finally look up, realizing that his mother is there. He looked around before meeting my eyes. A sense of pride swells inside of me when Taewoo abandons his precious cars and totters his way towards me. “Minyo chamchoon.” He called out.

 

“Good morning Taewoo. What were you doing? Are you bored?” I scooped him up. His tiny little hands quickly encircled my neck.

 

“Umm!” he nodded with a pout that carries a huge resemblance with him. “I was playing with cars. That aunty didn’t want to be my fwen.”

 

“Taewoo ya… why are you complaining to your Mino samchoon. Omma is here aren’t I?” Eunji tried to talk to him but it appears that Taewoo is sulking over her. “Taewoo ya… this isn’t fair.”

 

“Maybe he’s a little angry that you left him with someone unfriendly.” I pat the boy’s back. “Taewoo ya… samchoon is sorry that I borrowed your omma. She didn’t leave you, we were just sitting right next door doing work. Taewoo knows what work is right?”

 

Surprisingly, the boy nodded. “Appa always take me to school.”

 

“Omma has to work too now.” I opened up the room next door and showed him the papers on the desks. “See.”

 

“Appa said omma work go away.” Taewoo hid his face in the crook of my neck, refusing to see what I’m showing.

 

“Yes… but now omma works near to be with Taewoo. Does Taewoo like when omma go away?” I stroke the back of Taewoo’s head gently, coaxing him.

 

“No.” Taewoo answered in a sad voice.

 

“Is Taewoo angry with omma then?” I walked back into the room where Eunji who is clearly anxious.

 

“No…” when I let him down, Taewoo went to Eunji briefly, kissed her in the cheek before came running back into my arms.

 

“Seriously though, what’s up with you? Does both father and son’s instinct is to fall for you or something?” Eunji shoots a glare at me before groaning frustrated.

 

“Hey… can’t blame me for having the charm for their eyes.” I stroke Taewoo’s soft curly brunette mane. The boy turned and met my eyes, flashing his four little teeth at me, still keeping his distance with Eunji. I myself am wondering what makes Taewoo likes to cling at me even though at one point the boy was hesitating because I made his father cried.

 

“Yeah… yeah…” Eunji rolled her eyes. “So… care to share just what exactly did you say to Taehyunie to the point that he can’t sleep? He showed up at my apartment early in the morning saying he was bored after a morning run and wanted to make breakfast for us.”

 

“I didn’t say much. Just that the exhibition even though it’s about him, it’s not about him.”

 

“You actually said that? No wonder he can’t sit still. It’s like you set his pants on fire or something.” Eunji threw her head back burst out into full laughter.

 

“Why? Did he said something?” a pinch of curiosity started to arise in me.

 

“No… no… he didn’t say anything.” Eunji heaves between her laughs. “You should’ve seen his face though.” Once again, she burst out in laughter.

 

Taewoo too are questioning why his mother is in full maniac laughing mode. He taps on my hands and whispered, “Chamchoon… why is omma laufing?”

 

“Noona! Stop… you’re scaring Taewoo.” I reached out for one of the cushion and threw at her.

 

“Sorry…sorry…” Eunji wiped her teary eyes. “Sorry Taewoo ya… your appa is too cute. Come here.” Eunji pulled the confused boy into her arms and starts to pull both of his cheeks. “Ahhhh…” she sighed. “All this laughing is making me hungry. Where are we having our lunch?”

 

This time, I’m the one who rolled my eyes. “You said something about his frequent café.”

 

“Ah… yes… yes.” She looked at her wristwatch and gasp. “We better hurry. Or else we might missed him.” she straighten Taewoo’s outfit and fix her makeup before putting back her heels.

 

I shook my head. On the last night I met him, the night where I saw him with the neck tattoo guy, Eunji had texted me. Saying that she wants in on my plan to get him back. At first I ignored her, thinking that it was absurd to ask the help of his ex-wife and of course malice feeling of jealousy over the years she had him by her side.

 

We gathered all of Taewoo’s toys, Eunji walked in the front with Taewoo’s bag pack while I carried Taewoo in my arms. I envied her, her straightforwardness in expressing her ideals, her courage to grab on his hand even when her family against it. I wished I had an ounce of it. From the corner of my eyes I can see Eunji’s employees are whispering about us, gossiping, creating a scandal that is just a rumour. Spot on Eunji’s expectations. Buckling Taewoo properly onto his car seat in her car, we both climbed in. make our way to the café where he always goes to for his quiet lunch, hoping that he definitely be there. A friction… that’s what we’re trying to create, a wedge between us making him doubt about his decision of not wanting to have any relations with me.

 

 _“He’s coming to Hawaii in a few hours. Look… Seunghoon told me a bit of your past and I did some digging myself. I still blame you for hurting him but I wanna help. I know him, I know how much you mean to him and based on how I perceive, I just want him to be happy. I don’t know for sure that you are the answer but…sigh… I hope you are the solution. Tell me you won’t hurt him anymore.”_ My only answer that time was, I won’t.

 

Taking a seat just next the huge window, Taewoo settled in his high chair, fidgeting in his seat. “Appa!” he shout, loud enough to catch his father’s attention. He stood there frozen, with his eyes wide open, shocked to see us there, even more surprise to see me there.

 

“Noona… what are you doing here? You didn’t say you’re coming.” He rushed to our table, picking up Taewoo and just a curt nod at me. The neck tattoo guy came along. I stood there not knowing what to do as the other three adult exchange their greetings and friendlily chat leaving me puzzled, lost.

 

“Mino came by for the meeting and I thought that he would like the pesto you recommended here.” Eunji pats my shoulder, pulling me into their conversation.

 

“Samuel hyung said he wanted that too.” He glanced at me but divert his sight in a split second.

 

I tapped on Eunji’s hand and leans closer to whisper, “Maybe I should just go.”

 

“Don’t you dare.” Eunji gripped on my wrist, not letting me go.

 

The neck tattooed guy seems to notice. “Is there something going on with you two?”

 

My eyes automatically locked with his. “No… no way.” Eunji chuckled.

 

“Appa…” Taewoo’s little voice suddenly rang. “Minyo chamchoon give me this.” The boy proudly show off the little camera toy I gave him.

 

“Wahhh… so cool. Did you say thank you?” his voice suddenly sounded excited, causing the boy to be elated.

 

“I did. See this.” Taewoo continued to show the toy at him.

 

I remained silent there, just watching at the picture perfect scene. I tuned everything else around me, centring all of my senses on them. At that moment my thought went by, _“Ahhhh… this is it. This is what I wanted. No tricks no deceives, I just wanted them.”_ I didn’t notice that I was completely focus on them until Eunji’s voice pulled me out. Under my breath, I said, “Something has to change.” Unknowingly, I stood and excused myself. “I’m sorry noona. I can’t do this.” All three adults there were stunned.

 

 

 

 


	26. Something in the Voice

**TAEHYUN**

 

 

 

“Wanna explain to me what’s that about?” I said through my gritted teeth.

 

Samuel had taken Taewoo to the playground at the park beside our college, giving me and Eunji a little space to talk alone. We’re mostly stunned with him suddenly leaving the table and said the words that he said. I’ve a feeling that he was acting weird last night, and seeing him at lunch with Taewoo and Eunji sure had me taken aback but the most surprising of all that he said what he said to Eunji before abruptly leaving. My hunch says Eunji has something to do with it.

 

Eunji shrugged. “Beats me.” She said. “Maybe he’s just can’t stand looking at you being all chummy with Samuel. He’s jealous maybe?”

 

I sighed… “I hope you’re telling the truth noona. This isn’t college anymore remember? I don’t need you to fix me up with him or something. This isn’t a game… it’s my life we’re talking about here.” My thoughts went back to our college days when Eunji was my close sunbae, due to her overly affectionate on me, she had put up a dating profile of me, and screens… no… it was more of auditioning, tonnes of men just to fix a blind date for me. She even ruse to get me fall for them. I had the most hellish and tiring month because of it. 

 

“How dare you think of me like that… Who do you think I am? Did you really think I haven’t matured from our college days?” Eunji let out a heavy breath, exasperated. “Look… I’ve told you this morning, I have a meeting with the legal team. When Danah married Jinwoo… they figured it’ll be best in our interest if her brother’s firm to represent us. Since we want to avoid any conflict of interest if we turned out as rival if something came up later on.” Eunji sighed again. “Even if you have a problem with him… I don’t. Since we finished the meeting closed to lunch, I was the one who invite him here. I figured you would want to eat with Taewoo. Not to mention… he was a lifesaver. Earlier, Taewoo was sulking at me. The meeting went on a little too long and Taewoo wasn’t too fond with my secretary, whom I order to baby sit him. He’s the one who talked it out with Taewoo.” Eunji stood suddenly, “If you felt offended just at the mere sight of him, you should rethink about your feelings towards him. There’s a fine line between love and hate.”

 

My mouth gapes, I tried to say something but the words are stuck in my throat.

 

“Taewoo ya~ come here… let’s go.” I heard Eunji calling out for our son but when I looked at her, she leans close to my face. “Why waste your energy to hate someone that you loves? Sure you can’t forgive and forget but did you really move on? Because I don’t think you ever did. Till when are you going to be stuck in the past?” Eunji’s lips pressed softly on my forehead. “Taewoo ya~ give appa a kiss goodbye.”

 

Taewoo pecks his lips over mine. “Bye appa. Chee you when I chee you.”

 

I smiled bitterly at him, waving at him while he totters his ways to the car with Eunji. My face clearly is showing that something is off when Samuel didn’t say a word to me along the way as I did the same. As much as I hate to admit… my mind is filled with him.

 

It wasn’t until it was the weekends that I felt the noticeably emptiness. My life was normal again. Not even a mention of his name, no text from him and not even any news about him. Taewoo is still spending time with Eunji, making up the time she was away for too long in the past, they went to her family’s vacation house in Japan, along with Jinwoo and Danah. Donghyun took our mom and grandma along with his business trip abroad, Samuel had gone to Japan for some meeting for the faculty, replacing our dean who is handling another meeting here. This weekend is the first time I felt so lone. During the weekdays I’ve been swamp with work, arranging the dinner was one thing, finishing the class early was the other. I looked around the two storey house I bought to live with Eunji and Taewoo, suddenly felt too big for me.

 

I placed down the book I’ve been trying to read since morning on the coffee and decides to go out. I changed into white turtle and light blue jeans. It’s been quite a while since I wear something so casual. Remembering how I was so against wearing a turtleneck back in the days… it was him who convinced that I looked good in them. Unconsciously my lips curved up, it was so silly. I quickly shook the flooding memories away. I reached for the navy blue knee length padded parka that Donghyun got me for Christmas last year.

 

I start my car with one goal in my mind, taking a drive to wherever the road takes me, just like when Eunji was away and Taewoo wasn’t in the picture yet. After almost one hour aimlessly driving around, taking turns avoiding any red lights and traffic jam, I arrived at the central park, just a few blocks away from the art gallery. A part of me is screaming to head towards the gallery where his exhibition is still on display, while another part says don’t.

 

Thinking back how I was too anxious that night, I caved in. instead of driving straight to the gallery, I choose to park my car here and just walk there.  In that 15 minutes’ walk from the park to here, I don’t know how many times the thoughts of turning around have come up but here I am, standing at the entrance.

 

“Nam Taehyun ssi?” a woman’s voice snapped me from my heavy thoughts. I looked up and see the gallery’s assistant walking towards me with a smile. “You’re finally here. I personally send out the viewing party the other day but you didn’t show up despite RSVP’d saying you would.” She took my hands and held them.

 

The overly friendly woman is making me uncomfortable. I do admit I often come here, and it is her job to be friendly and welcoming but in between the unnecessary touches and her staring eyes, I can’t help but to feel wary. I gently push her hands away and took off my jacket. “I did came, just briefly, that’s why I’m here again to see them again.” I faked a smile at her, before she could say another word, I quickly excused myself and head straight to the displayed arts. Thankfully, she didn’t follow me in.

 

I took my time, carefully focus all of my attention on the pieces in front of me. Getting lost with all the hard work he clearly made and all the time he spent with these, I kind of get why he said that these are not for me… I think it was about him showing all the effort and time he had spent for these. However… at the same time I felt a mix of light and heavy feeling deep inside. Each and every one of these etched plates… the photo referenced to them… each of them are about us… about me. First it was the meadows beside a lake, the oak tree in the cemetery and the church with a well beside it that I noticed the other night, then were others that has a complex feeling… it was like all the plates are telling… me… a story… a story that I refused to acknowledge that progressed from big and bright into confined and dark. Perhaps it was because I was a part of the story… I understood.

 

As I progressed towards the end, I tried to breathe normally but I can feel the pace is getting fast. At one point I was already gripping the corner of the wall to stand properly. Somehow all of these is suffocating me, as if they’re trying to shove my face onto a book I’ve trying to bury deep inside. I look around but everything seems to be spinning, the walls is closing in.

 

“Nam Taehyun ssi?” the gallery’s assistant found me sitting on the floor clutching my chest, heaving loudly. She tried to help me up but I slapped her hands away. Without looking back, ignoring the judging eyes around me, I tried to walk out, struggling, tripping. I couldn’t think of anything else, my mind is blanked.

 

Far off, I can hear a woman’s voice calling out my name but I kept on walking forward. I tried to recall, when the last time I had this attack was. Years ago, my thoughts echoed in my head. Five to be exact… when I first saw him after a decade had passed. I am walking blindly, my eyes can’t only see blurry figures of people around me. I lost count of how many times that I stumbled upon strangers and lost balanced. But I kept gathering all my strength, getting back up just to find the exit of this place because I am somehow convinced that I could breathe if I am outside.

 

Knocking over a hard glass… rattling the door open before I felt a gust of cold air around me however… instead of feeling relief my heartbeat is getting more erratic, my breaths are getting shorter and shorter, all the strength I gathered earlier for my feet has reached their limits. I couldn’t even take a step forward. “Taehyun!” I heard a familiar voice calling me out, there something in the voice that calms me down. Then I felt warm hands cupped my face. That was the moment that I felt like everything else seemed like it doesn’t matter anymore. Then I noticed warmth wrapped around my body, _was I cold?_ I thought to myself. _It’s warm_ … was the last thought that goes through my mind before I blacked out.

 

 

 


	27. Something Unredeemable

**MINO**

“Thank you so much Mino ssi. I’m so sorry to have taken your weekends for such a medial things.” The older woman smiled sweetly at me.

 

I smiled back, “Don’t say that Mrs. Han… this isn’t big deal and there’s no such thing as medial when it comes to one’s business.”

 

“Oh… I’m sure your other clients have a far more important than I am.”

 

“Each and every client of mine is important.” My words seemed to have made the old lady content. Mrs. Han here is one of my earliest client when I first started working here. It was because of her trust that earned me my spot. She called me up late last night, saying that she think her daughter just signed something shady, since she’s afraid that the loss will be a lot greater if she wait till Monday, she asked me to look over the copy today even though personal contract isn’t my area of expertise. “This seems legit but I must say the fine print is a little suspicious. I’ll ask my friend to look over them once again and if you still want to annul it… we’ll try to find a loop or way around them.”

 

“Just as I suspected.” The older woman sighed. “That girl will be 20 soon but she really hasn’t matured yet. Being so foolish… wanting to be idols or some sort. Signing things so recklessly”

 

“Being an entertainer is still an ambition Mrs. Han. I think it’s good that she has her own goal. Her being a little reckless is a learning process don’t you think?” I smiled, trying not to be rude to her. For a parent to be a little overprotective and having a stereotype reminds me of my own parent making me a little annoyed.

 

“Oh my… such a matured way of thinking. You’re right… I’ll discuss this matter with my husband and that girl.” Mrs. Han looked a little offended by me but I just ignored it.

 

I smiled at her. “Great. I should get going now… if there’s anything I’ll keep you updated about this. Once you have the decision on what to do with this, just let me know and we’ll do all we can to help.” Tidying the papers into my messenger bag, Truth be told…I wasn’t in a good mood to begin with but I know that I shouldn’t let my personal feelings get in the way of my work.

 

“Already? Let me treat you for lunch Mino ssi… it’s already a hassle for me to drag you out here on a Saturday for a matter that isn’t even related to my company at all.” Mrs. Han look apologetic.

 

“Your best interest is my responsibility Mrs. Han. About your company or not… feel free to reach out.” I stood. “I’m sorry but I have to turn you down. Another time maybe? I’ve made a promise with a friend. She has a gallery around here.” I fixed my suit, put on my jacket and hold out my hand for a handshake.

 

Mrs. Han smiled. “It’s a promise then… if I invite you for a meal after this… there’s no turning down.” She stood and took my hands.

 

“You have my word.” I nodded at her. Without turning back around, I walked out… letting out a long sigh of relief, shedding the mask I’ve been wearing. The meeting wasn’t that long but it felt so tiring. Of course it was a lie about making a promise with Bom. I sat in my car for a while, feeling bad about using Bom’s name behind her back… I finally decides to just stop by her gallery just for a moment. Even though I’ve been avoiding my own exhibition since that day.

 

I sighed, ever since that day where I storm out of the café in the middle of the lunch with him, his son, his ex-wife and their best friend, I’ve been holed up in my cave. I used my work to keep me busy and when I’m off, I just locked myself in the cabin, pouring everything out onto my paintings. I do what I do to keep myself from thinking about him, including staying away from the exhibition. Despite what I said to him, that thing is entirely dedicated to him. I know he didn’t bat an eye at the letters I wrote. It was pure luck that he came to the viewing party but I know one way or another… he’ll eventually see them. But from how he reacted… perhaps he did read those letters and just didn’t have an ounce of care about them.

 

For the ninth times… I sighed again. I was hoping to have some progress but of course my guilty conscience made a regress instead. Eunji meant well but seeing him there, smiling with Taewoo I felt bad about tricking him. I just want him to fall for me for me… not because those reverse psychology as Eunji planned.

 

I turned to the gallery’s front parking. Taking a deep breath and put my mask back on. As I take the steps towards the gallery, I sent a text to Bom… however, even before I could managed to finish typing I saw him rushing out from the entrance, wearing just a thin turtleneck on his back, swaying. Even from this distance I can see how his face is as pale as the dead. I rushed to him.

 

“Taehyun!” I called out, just in time before he fell I managed to catch him, cupping his cold as ice face. “Oh god, what are you doing here wearing just this?” I looked into his eyes. He was staring back at me but at the same time he isn’t looking at me. I pulled him close to my chest, hiding him in my arms, under my thick clothing as he limped, losing his consciousness.

 

“Nam Taehyun ssi.” Bom’s assistant came rushing through the door holding a jacket. “Song Mino ssi.” She looked surprised, worried.

 

“Is that his jacket?” she nodded. “What happened?” I snatched it off of her hand, wrapped it around him and scoops him up.

 

“I-I don’t know. I found him sitting on the floor… when I called him out h-he suddenly j-just got up and l-leave.” She stutters and she followed me to my car. She helped opening the door.

 

I placed my hand on her shoulder to find that she’s trembling. “I’m taking him to the nearest hospital. I’ll call the gallery if there’s anything.”

 

I took him to the nearest hospital, the nurses came running, the doctor came rushing, I was push aside and force to wait at the waiting hall. I walked back and forth, trying to figure out what exactly happened and the only answer I could get is the exhibition. In midst the chaos,a nurse came up to me asking me a bunch of questions I don’t have an answer to… I had to call Eunji, it was then I got to find out about his panic attacks. According to her it’s been a while since he had them… and this is the first time he actually fainted. I recalled our high school days, as far as I know he didn’t have that… since when? Eunji only said that he already have them when she met him.

 

The nurse explained that his blood pressure is a bit lower…knowing that he might be having panic attack just before, sudden drop of the pressure might be the cause of him fainting. The doctor told me it isn’t anything serious but they still want to keep an eye on him.

 

I sat beside his bed, the skies out there is already dark… but he still hasn’t open his eyes, most probably just sleeping. I take on his hand and pressed my lips. “Was it because of me?”

 

I studied his face, how far did I got to him…how deep that I hurt him till he ends up like this.

 

I stayed with him throughout the night. Though I fell asleep at one point… I felt as if he was awake for a moment. I could feel his hand on my head, but of course that was just a dream. When Eunji finally came in early in the morning, I left. I didn’t say a word to her nor to him who is still sleeping. If the other day I left the café with the determination of playing clean… today I left with a determination of staying away. If he is like this because of me… I shouldn’t have appeared in his eyes ever again.

 

“Hey… morning hyung” I greeted the older man.

 

“Hey… Bom said Taehyun ssi fainted at her gallery and you took him to the hospital… how  is he?” Jiyong asked.

 

“Yeah… he did… he’s fine now. His ex-wife is in there with him.” I said in a low voice.

 

“Oh okay… You okay? You sounded… off.” Jiyong sounded puzzled.

 

“No…no… I’m…” I sighed. “Hyung… I-I have a favour to ask… you know those collections you guys have… can you put it on display for me? I need to take down those etching arts…”

 

“What?! Why?” Jiyong was surprised so as Seunghyun. I could hear Jiyong explaining to him.

 

I took a long heavy breath in. “Nothing… just a little change of mind…” rubbing my temple with my thumb, I sat there in my car, squeezing my eyes shut, holding back the guilt that is rising in me.

 

“You sure ‘bout this? What did Bommie noona say?”

 

“Yeah I’m sure of it. No… I haven’t talked to noona yet… I’ll go see her myself after this… and hyung… I need some time off. There’s a lot of things on my mind right now… I’ll ask Junho to take over my work and clients.” I pleaded.

 

“Sure man… you don’t have to go far with giving him your clients.  Take your time. Just… comeback in one piece. You look like you’ll break any time these few days.”

 

“I can’t promise you anything. For once I think I should just go back to the states.” I leaned my head back.

 

“Yah Song Mino! What nonsense are you talking about? If there’s anything wrong you can tell us… you can tell me… you just properly came back here. You spent so many years going back and forth why the sudden change? What happened?” I could hear Jiyong’s long sigh.

 

It’s true I’ve spent almost four years, going back and forth from here to the states. I’ve only settled here less than a year but I just couldn’t stay. “Hyung… living here is not cut out for me. I brought back so much pain to him.”

 

“Him? who? Yah… Mi…” before Jiyong could finish his words, I ended the call. I start my car and drove directly to Bom’s house.

 

It took me a lot of effort to convince her to take down my art and stop the exhibition immediately. It hasn’t even been a week since we launched. With a promise of covering all the losses and finding a temporary replacement, Bom reluctantly agrees.

 

From Bom’s house I goes straight back at home… pack all the necessities, a little bit of clothes, took a shower before heading back out again with my passport and backpack on tow. I stopped by his house. I placed a card in his mailbox. Just as I was leaving, I saw Eunji’s car pulling up into his driveway. There he is… walking slowly behind her. He smiled at her, I can see Eunji is talking… nagging I assume. The green monster is slowly making its way out in me… “Why can’t that smile be for me?” I said to myself… but then again, I’m the one who brought this on us. Then he suddenly stopped… he stared at the direction of my car. Realizing on this… I drove away. I brought nothing but pain to him… I robbed him of his youthful smile and it wasn’t something unredeemable. I bid my goodbye again to him as I run away like a coward I always has been.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to write for fun. Just thirsting for a little NamSong.


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